Mistakes

"I am a gift giver!" I exclaim, not really intending to. He startles, a little surprised by my outburst, and I sink deeper into his back, embarrassment taking hold of me. Soon after, he chuckles, amusement evident in each sound he makes.

"This is the loudest you have ever been. You don't have to be embarrassed about it, and yes and no about the Vires part" he says, and I'm pulled back to my earlier state of confusion. But before I can ask, he continues, "Let's find a place. I bet Baram has found something by now. What you will learn is... sort of complicated to understand, and with you sitting like that, I might be the one to be damned at the end of all this." Even without grasping a single word of what he said, I nod. I know it must have been exhausting to fight that monster all by himself. We should find a place first. After agreeing with myself, I close my eyes, trying to relieve the tension of what just occurred, but something suddenly flashes.

"How did you meet Hyndrelle and her brother?" The last time I saw her; she appeared so frail that I feared something was amiss. She wasn't like she was when we first met, or perhaps I am not fulfilling my role as a queen adequately. and just notice the change.

"Frail? Why?" he asks.

"What! Will you do me the favor of ceasing your intrusion into my mind?" I yell once more, and he scoffs, unfazed by my request.

"I can't," is all he says. "But why do you think something is wrong with her?" he asks thoughtfully. "The last time I checked, she was doing great, but then again... What did you notice?"

"She looks malnourished, and her face just... just like mine back in time... devoid of any will to live," I utter unconsciously, and he falls silent for a while. He must also be thinking that we aren't doing a good job as the king and queen of this kingdom. "I wish I was well-versed in matters like this... if only I could..." Without any effort, he turns me around slowly, placing me atop his feet.

"I know that if you were well-versed in matters like this, perhaps you would not need help, but nothing stops you from learning, darling," he says, and I can't explain how my heart shifts from inside my chest to the tips of my fingers. Darling, how long has it been since I heard this word? It must have been when I was seven or eight, and that was from my father. "We are all here to help you in any path you decide to walk, and we will tell you if that path is good or bad, but only you are allowed to make the final decision."

"I'm not sure if this is fortunate or not, but the only refuge we've discovered is by the River of Varish, and it's under elven ownership," Baram announces, approaching with a grave look. His armor, scarred from combat, remains impressively unscathed—a reflection of its superior make and his status as the foremost commander. 

The armor's polished steel gives off a soft glow, each segment etched with aerodynamic patterns that convey both command and efficiency. Eschewing the lavish decorations of ceremonial armor, it opts for strengthened joints and extra layers on the shoulders and torso for defense. The sigil on his shoulder guards, a crisply defined sunburst, identifies him as a distinguished figure among fighters. Even with grime and soot at its fringes, the armor exudes a sense of order, as though it is an extension of Baram himself, shaped equally by his actions and the blacksmith's artistry.

"What do you recommend?"

"There is no other option; we must spend the night there. However, considering their cunning nature, I hope we will not encounter any threats. We have already wasted enough time with those girls; I will have to kill her If she tries anything," Baram declares, visibly angry, his once calm expression now vanished, nowhere to be found. Even his mere aura warns me to back off, and I do—I lean further into Caeruleus, disliking Baram's way of thinking.

 "Now, Baram, that's not a kind thing to say. Let's head there and hear what she proposes about our overnight stay. As for the rest of our troops, I doubt there's ample room for everyone," Caeruleus states, his voice firm yet empathetic.

"I had to dispatch them back to the palace. It will be just the four of us proceeding," Baram replies, his tone laced with stress. Caeruleus gives a nod, acknowledging the altered plan.

We move towards one of the awaiting carriages, and that's when I notice Bluebell, resting silently within. My heart leaps, and I hasten to her side, a wave of relief washing over me as I draw near. Arriving at the carriage, I carefully open the door, my breath halting at the sight of Bluebell lying there, her eyes shut as if in repose. Her complexion is wan, and the serene expression she usually carries now seems distant, as if she's engrossed in thought—or perhaps merely fatigued. I pause briefly, reluctant to interrupt her rest, yet my concern prevails.

"Bluebell?" I murmur, stooping next to her. Her eyelids lift, and she gazes up at me, a faint smile gracing her face despite the clear signs of tiredness.

"She needs to rest, Your Majesty; she can't hear you at the moment, but she is fine," Baram utters behind me, and I turn to face him. His expression softens as he gazes at her, yet a dark aura still lingers around him.

"What happened to her?" I ask, he clenches his teeth so tightly that the veins on his temples bulge, as if the mere thought grants him the right to release his restrained fury.

"She was attacked during the fight," he states simply before climbing into the carriage to carry her. "We will need to depart now. If you need to rest, Your Highness, let's head back to the king," he suggests, descending slowly while cradling Bluebell in a bridal style as if she is the most delicate person in the world. They might not seem like it, or she might try to hide it from me, but they definitely share something special. I attempt to go down and follow them when suddenly, I find myself flying towards Caeruleus. He catches me by the waist and holds me just as Baram held Bluebell moments ago.

"How far is that place from here?" Caeruleus asks, turning to Baram, who first glances at Bluebell, then, with reluctance, directs his gaze to Caeruleus.

"It's approximately twenty to twenty-five miles away, situated on the forest's edge," Baram replies. My eyes widen at the distance. A four to five-hour walk... how will we—

"Let's go," Caeruleus interjects, his voice firm and authoritative. He looks down at me, his features softening ever so slightly. "Hold on tight and don't let go."

Before I can comprehend what's happening, Baram leaps into the air, soaring as though carried by the wind itself. We follow, my heart racing as the wind howls around us. I close my eyes tightly, overwhelmed by both fear and wonder. The wind's force feels as though it could flay the skin from my bones, its icy bite piercing deep.

Yet as quickly as it began, it all comes to a halt. The world falls silent, and for a moment, I'm unable to grasp what has occurred. My heart continues to race, the exhilarating sensation of flight still echoing in my chest.

Gently, my eyes flutter open, and a surreal tranquility envelops me. The once raging wind has settled into a gentle whisper. We've reached a destination unknown. I focus on calming my breathing, puzzled by our rapid arrival.

Surveying the area, I find myself in an alien terrain. The earth is cushioned with moss, and the trees loom high above, their foliage glistening as though enchanted. The atmosphere is fresh, tinged with the cool fragrance of a neighboring river.

"How?" was all I could manage to say. It was supposed to take four to five hours. How did we get here so quickly?

"That is just one of the many talents your dear husband possesses, darling. Now let's go, you need rest," he responds. I nod, still filled with unanswered questions. Caeruleus, holding me firmly in his arms, looks down at me with a slight smile. "It's the quickest way to travel such a distance."

I nod again, my heart racing not only from the speed but also from the intimacy of being carried this way. I can feel his strength, the steadiness of his grip, and for a moment, everything seems surreal.

Baram lands beside us with a soft thud, his armor making barely a sound. He surveys the area with a critical eye, then turns to us. "We're here. The shelter is close by."

Peering through the trees, I discern movement among the branches—forms gliding with both elegance and haste. As I gaze upon the trees, I observe motion through the branches—figures that are both graceful and rapid. While we traverse the woods, the air turns chillier, and the river's flow sounds increasingly louder with each stride. The forest seems to teem with life, the venerable trees reaching skyward, their foliage rustling in a dialect known only to them. The earth underfoot is plush, blanketed with a layer of moss and shed leaves that soften our footsteps. The trail is slender, just ample enough to accommodate a single person.

At last, we come upon a small hut tucked among the trees, its design understated yet graceful. In contrast to the imposing edifice, we had observed from afar, this hut is unassuming, constructed of dark wood and stone, topped with a thatched roof blanketed in ivy and moss. The walls appear as though they have emerged organically from the encircling woods, the timber contorted and knotted, as though shaped by the forest's own hands.

The door is a muted green, etched with elaborate patterns of leaves and vines that glimmer subtly under the moon's glow. It appears both inviting and age-old, a portal that seems to have stood for eons, yet remains perfectly tailored to the whims of its enigmatic owner. The surrounding air is laden with the fragrance of fresh soil and untamed herbs, soothing and earthing.

Baram advances, his boots making a soft crunch against the forest bed as he nears the door. "I'll check inside," he declares, his tone low yet decisive.

Caeruleus gives a nod, his gaze sweeping the vicinity warily. "Ensure its secure. We'll hold position here."

After a brief pause, Baram returns, his expression inscrutable. "It's empty," he declares. "Yet, it appears to have been readied for us."

Caeruleus advances, placing his hand lightly on my shoulder as he heads for the door. "Let's go inside. We'll take our rest here tonight." Stepping into the hut, I am immediately taken by its inviting warmth. The small, tidy interior is adorned with shelves bearing odd herbs, jars filled with luminescent liquids, and tiny artifacts that seem to throb with life. In one corner, a fire gently crackles in a stone fireplace, it's comforting light casting dancing shadows upon the walls.

At the room's heart stands a solitary, sizable table encircled by plush cushions. Several bedrolls lie neatly on the ground, their arrangement suggesting that our stay is expected. The air is rich with the mingling scents of herbal aromas and woodsmoke, all enhanced by the fire's embracing heat.

"I will take a room upstairs" Baram declares visibly not amaze by any of the attention giving. she even did the bedrolls for us.

"Why? Are you hiding something we should know about?" Caeruleus asks, his voice brimming with amusement. He sits down on one of the bedrolls and positions me between his legs. Baram looks down at us, his expression blank, still holding Bluebell close. "Besides, as my first in command, aren't you supposed to protect us? Especially since said first in command sent all our troops back home. You need to ensure our safety, making sure nothing suspicious happens. How many times must I tell you that our safety comes first... and obviously, hers too," Caeruleus scolds looking at Bluebell. What surprises me is the cunning smile he directs at Baram, who returns only a bored gaze.

"You never spoke such words before, and in my defense, this is the first time you use such language," Baram retorted, then turned his gaze towards me. "Would her highness permit me to sleep elsewhere? I fear we may be a nuisance to you both."

"No!" Caeruleus answers before I have time to think. "You can't; they were so generous to offer us this place to rest. You can't just disrespect them to such an extent. Don't you feel an ounce of sympathy?" I don't know whether I should be laughing or scared right now, given how happy and calm his face is, but one thing is certain: Baram doesn't look the least bit affected.

"I know my memories aren't playing tricks on me; I was asking her highness, not you," he hisses at Caeruleus before turning his attention to me. "What does her highness say about this? And don't let that punk make decisions for you." I'm startled by the insult, but the king merely sighs at him. They seem to share a deep connection for such informalities. Lost in thought about their bickering, I barely notice Caeruleus pushing me aside, kneeling behind me, and fixing my hair.

"Your memories must be deceiving you, for you've forgotten whom you're calling a punk. Her Highness and I are now two bodies with a single soul. I have a say in this, and it's time for you to stop wasting our precious time. Lay down and sleep; we need to reach Vinsmug as soon as the word 'early' allows." I can't see the expression he's making because of what he's doing to my head, but I can see Baram's face, and he is still staring down at me waiting for my response. I search within myself to find my lost voice before murmuring.

"You may leave," I say and Baram, lift his head from me to stare at Caeruleus, offering him a smug smile as he walked past us. But suddenly, his steps halted.

"You know, becoming one soul is not just a matter of words but of a certain action, and I am certain, as the word 'early' implies, that this act has not yet been completed. So instead of having me here, you should focus on that. And I am equally certain, as the word 'late' implies, that she is as clueless as the word itself."

"You certainly gain a lot of courage when she's around you like this. However, I'm curious to see her reaction to the law of Ferus once she reads it and discovers Byckielle's schemes behind her back, as well as how she'll view the very reason for this sudden shift. But then again..."

"You know why I had to do it; the City of Life was siphoning so many living souls from human riders that they couldn't endure a five-minute ride without hallucinating. If not for my actions, everyone would have perished due to an untested theory. And don't tell me there was another option," Baram states. He doesn't raise his voice, yet the unsettling tension in the air seems to emanate from him.

"I understand that you're aware of the reasons behind those actions, but my question pertains to the little one in your arms. How do you think she will react to someone who dismisses a theory without analysis yet readily embraces his own unexamined theories?" he trails off and pulls me onto his lap, soothingly rubbing my back. "You may not recall, but she's not one to dive into water without knowing the depth, she is not one to jump into the ocean without knowing where she will land, she despises rash plans, and what you've done is far worse. I am as certain of her anger as the very definition of the word implies. I am well aware of the consequences you'll face," Caeruleus concludes with a sarcastic, loud sigh.

"And what will she think when she knows who the almighty being was that opened a certain gate?" Caeruleus tenses at the words, and before he can react, Baram departs without another word.

"Apologies for that. Sometimes, people struggle to distinguish between truth and lies, convincing themselves that lies are more beneficial than the truth. However, they also endure the tormenting worry over the consequences if the person deceived were to discover the truth."

"But don't they say that lies keep the pain away?" I ask, recalling my father's advice to never hold back on lies if the truth might cause harm.

The silence lingers before Caeruleus replies, his tone serene yet decisive. "Lies might temporarily shield you from pain, but truth inevitably emerges, regardless of how deeply it's concealed. And its revelation often brings much greater anguish."

He looks into my eyes, his expression resolute. "Your father's intentions were perhaps protective yet lies are treacherous solace. They corrode trust, and in its absence, there's scarcely anything to cling to."

The weight of his words descends upon me, leaving me momentarily at a loss for words. The conviction in his voice is at odds with the echoes of my father's counsel, making me question whether both hold truth in their own right, or if I have been holding onto a mirage all this time. "Sometimes," Caeruleus says, his tone gentler, "it's not about avoiding pain, but confronting it together. That is when healing can genuinely occur." The silence that follows makes my chest tighten, and I somehow want that out of the atmosphere, so I ask instead

"What..." but he cuts me

"Have you ever been out of Perish?" The question catches me off guard, and I lean into his chest to hide my embarrassment. The truth is, I have never left my house, and the duchy was a new environment for me, yet I remained confined there. He gently lifts me and sets me down a little distance away, creating a space between us. Is he angry or disappointed? Before I can complete my train of thought, he produces a curious object from within his cloak. It gleams faintly in the firelight—a round metallic artifact, smooth and reflective at its base, as if made from polished silver. Rising from the top of the rounded base are two long, slender golden arms, each intricately etched with swirling patterns that seem to move when seen from different angles. The golden arms curve elegantly, their tips tapering to fine points, resembling the delicate stems of a celestial plant or the outstretched wings of an otherworldly bird.

The object emits a faint hum, a gentle vibration that fills the surrounding air, and I find myself inexplicably drawn to it. Its purpose is unknown to me, yet it exudes an aura of vast power and importance, suggesting it is more than a mere instrument—it is a relic connected to something much larger.

"What is that?" I inquire; my voice laced with wonder.

"This is a scepter, an Aurion scepter. Only royalty next in line for succession are allowed to possess it. Since you are so determined to learn, your first lesson will be to familiarize yourself with every location in the kingdom you are to protect, as well as its history," he says, pressing his hands at the base of the object. It suddenly glows, forcing me to close my eyes. When I open them, the sight before me leaves me gaping in awe for the longest time.