Dreams and Freud(extra)

Extra

My name is Wu Guiyao, Cantonese, code name Guangzhou.Joined the club during my freshman year under the introduction of a friend, I am responsible for all affairs of the club in Guangdong, now in my senior year, twenty-two years old.Recently I received news that there was going to be a meeting, it was the ship called Sea Serenade, and the people who brought it already had a number in mind.A high school friend who had recently studied in B suddenly came to my house to see me, with all her fatigue, she told me she was tired and didn't want to play anymore.I accompanied her to sit in the bar drinking, she rarely a cup after a cup of fierce drink, enough to dry three mouth brandy, she just wanted to open her mouth to say what suddenly screamed some strange things, I vaguely heard probably some criminal law regulations.Is not the life of the university is too boring, so that my high school classmate who has always pursued excitement in the heavy pressure of mental collapse.I was thinking about how she survived these years and how those people rubbed her the wrong way when she began to cry hard, crying shoulder to shoulder, like a long time water reservoir opened the floodgates unexpectedly, like a flood of water.Only a hard to coax her, and finally in order to give her relief accompanied by her smashing bottles of wine, and indeed the sound of breaking glass and the aroma of wine is the only way to wake up her few senses, she gradually slowed down, and finally she slept peacefully with tearful eyes.Worried that something had happened to her, I stayed by her side all night, fearing that she might have any dangerous thoughts, during which time I was also sleepy and went over for a short nap.The next day at noon she woke up, the first reaction is to grab the bottle of wine on the shelf, I stopped her, that is I want to bring to the president of the good wine, can not let her take it.

She didn't give me a hard time. In high school, she and I didn't have any deep interactions. I was the captain of the school discipline team, and she was the shady lunatic that everyone avoided, and she wasn't the type to get into trouble, but every time something went wrong, she would always be there to silently watch from the sidelines.Over time, we kind of know each other, classmates habitually ignore to avoid her, she was sent abroad by her family to study abroad as soon as she graduated, she lives alone there, I don't know if it's not a good life, anyway, I'm a little heartbroken to sympathize with her, she shouldn't have a few people to talk to in this world.She didn't used to cry, never cried, when the bullying incident happened in school, she just happened to hide in the toilet cubicle, the one who was bullied jumped from the window after the bully left, broke two legs and an arm, she didn't even cry, the last witness who witnessed someone else being bullied to the point of lightening his life later on the spot so scared that his legs were weak, and finally dropped out of school I heard that it's a shadow of a psyche.She came forward to identify the bullies, the bullies dare not mess with her, although she is not favored in the family but after all, she is also have a hard background backstage gold.The real reason why she was isolated by everyone was that she was once accosted by a newly transferred arrogant and bossy rich girl who flaunted her wealth, she stared at the rich girl slyly, and the rich girl later rebuked her in annoyance, "You just haven't seen the world, I'll tell you you just stared for the rest of your life you can't afford it!If you want to blame it on your bad fate, the father does not love the mother does not love the freak, was not born to make up the numbers?"She lost her temper for the first time, lifted the table, grabbed the rich girl by the collar, viciously seemed to tear the rich girl to pieces, hesitated for a moment to release her hand, and left without a word.The rich girl, stunned and annoyed feeling that she was being downgraded, provoked behind her, "It's not like I said anything wrong!You just broke the defense!"Later, the rich girl's family bankruptcy, the director of the teaching office is very helpless to come to the class, in front of the class let her pack up things to go home to withdraw from the formalities have been completed, the rich girl face pale, head down to pack up the things, tail between the tail slinking away.The next day that rich girl stopped her at the door of the school, lowly begging her to help, she just smiled, took out a pair of needle and thread from her bag, told her that as long as she sewed up her mouth she would help, that rich girl half a day stifled a sentence: "What a crazy person."After this incident her family background is also known by the students a rough, her family conditions are very good, she was a child and her mother at home witnessed the whole process of her mother's suicide, since then mentally abnormal, self-mutilation, slit his wrists, take poison, all rely on the family's financial resources to pull her back from the ghost, hanging breath, stepmother and older siblings do not like her, she was treated as a calamity, withdrawn and silent, but also on her fatherShe was treated like a disaster, withdrawn and silent, and only her father would protect her and do whatever she wanted.

Just entered the school discipline team that will, I received a report from a classmate that she did not know what she wanted to do on the rooftop, she took the initiative to talk to me for the first time, she said she felt that I was not the same as others, she believed in me, she was willing to talk to me.She said she couldn't sleep well, high school study pressure is not small, poor sleep is normal, I told her I can't sleep well at night, if she is interested in her dream, I will give her a gift on her birthday, she will like it.We had a chat, it was relaxing, and she ended up sitting on the edge and I sat in the entryway, the sun shining warmly on us, we smiled at each other, she had a particularly bright and generous smile.I also have my own plans, her birthday is in May, at least can hold her for most of the year, as for the dream is I made up on the spot.When I went to the bookstore, I picked up a hardcover book related to dreams, Freud's The Interpretation of Dreams, and she loved it so much that I often saw her holding the book between classes and savoring it word by word, and she also bought other books by Freud to read.Curiosity drove me to buy another book over to read, the book is nothing wrong, is a good book, but I am worried that she is a little bit of fire into the devil, and then on her birthday in her sophomore year of high school and sent her a set of labor law, civil code, constitutional law, criminal law, international law, economic law and so on a full set of law books, she carried a large pile of heavier than textbooks books on the private car at her home, she just happened to choose the course at that time casually choose the liberal arts, and later and do not rely on their ownShe just happened to choose the class at that time randomly selected liberal arts, and later did not rely on their own college entrance examination results to eat, so do not care how to choose, it is just right for her later legal road paved the way.I carefully considered for the class, her meticulous thinking, was originally a good material for science, but she favored science grades in general, but better than the sensitivity of the text, history and geography scores are good, the most suitable to study law.I specifically sought out the class teacher to persuade her a few words of advice, she is also sure that she wants to study law in the future.After the college entrance examination, we all went our own way and basically flew to different corners of the earth, and broke contact with each other.She did not even come to the graduation party, the end of the college entrance exams on the car driving to the airport body in addition to the cell phone did not bring anything, alone with early prepared passport and bank card to fly to B country.

"Sleep well?"I handed her the milk brought in by the waiter in front of me, "Drink it!It's a hangover cure."After she finished the milk, she rattled off a bunch of inexplicable stuff, dragging me through it.Sometimes it was legalese, sometimes it was some philosophical quotes, and other times it was just broken sentences, like she was talking to herself or to someone."You're tired."I said.She stared at her glass and didn't deny it."You don't want to play anymore."She was silent for a long time before she let out a low laugh, "Yeah, don't want to play."He looked at me with a slight trance in his eyes, and as if he had finally made up his mind of some sort."I want ... to make an appointment with a therapist, or find someone to help me."Her voice was so low it was almost inaudible, "I'm losing track of reality and dreams."She stayed at my house for a few days after that, not talking much during the day, just flipping through her law books to peacefully prepare for her judicial exams, but always waking up at night.Once, I heard her muttering in her sleep, as if repeating someone's words."Destiny is not a fixed number ... everything depends on us ... we are the ones who are in charge of our own destiny ..." Itiptoed over to her bed and called her name.Her eyes snapped open, her eyes staring vacantly at the ceiling, and she murmured, "I dreamed about him.""Is he still there?"She shook her head, "He's gone."I didn't press the issue of who.Two days later she said she was going back, I didn't know where she was going back to but I was sure she was finding the next thing to do.She handed me her cell phone, "If you ever see me again ... I hope you don't tell anyone who I am."I took the phone and there was an unsent text message on the screen, addressed to an unknown foreign number.The text message was simple:- "I'm awake."

After she left I realized she had left a bottle full of glass shards in her room.Later I heard that she had an accident and passed out on some foreign street, the doctor said she was extremely mentally unstable and even forgot a lot of things.Someone came to claim her and took her to another place, and her family refused all requests for visitation.The only reply was a photograph, taken on the far side of the hospital, the compound blocked off by iron gates, of her sitting in front of a window, staring blankly at the sky, as if she had finally awakened from some long nightmare.