Chapter forty-four – The Essay

The classroom buzzed with low chatter and the faint sound of pencils scribbling. The morning sun filtered in through the tall windows, warming the worn wooden desks. Mr. Andrews, their English teacher, stood by the board, arms crossed and smiling faintly as he watched his students work.

"Remember," he had said when they walked in, "this isn't about grammar or structure. I want honesty. Write about a mistake—big or small—and what it taught you. You've got thirty minutes."

Ryan sat in the second row, elbow resting on his desk, pen hovering above his notebook. The words didn't come at first. His eyes wandered the classroom—Ben was already writing, his brow furrowed; Savannah chewed her pen cap, lost in thought; Anna sat diagonally from him, tapping her pencil gently against her desk.

Ryan looked down again.

He thought of the fight. Of pushing that kid. Of his mom's worried eyes when she saw his bruised hand. He thought of moving here, of the weight he carried for so long. The distance he kept from people—not because he wanted to, but because it felt safer that way.

And then, he started writing:

We've all made mistakes—taken the wrong step, made a decision we later regretted. It's part of being human.

Sometimes, we do what feels right in the moment, only to realize later that we could have chosen differently. And while it's easy to wish we could go back and fix things, the truth is, we can't. What we can do is decide how we move forward.

What matters most isn't the mistake itself, but what we do after. Do we learn from it? Do we try to make things right when we can? Growth doesn't come from never messing up—it comes from facing our missteps, owning them, and choosing to do better. Every mistake, no matter how frustrating, carries a lesson, even if it takes time to see it.

It's easy to get stuck in regret, replaying moments over and over, wishing we had done things differently. But regret doesn't change the past—it only makes it harder to live in the present. At some point, we have to let go, not because the mistake didn't matter, but because we deserve to move forward. Forgiving ourselves is just as important as learning from what happened.

At the end of the day, our mistakes don't define us—how we grow from them does. We're all just figuring things out as we go, doing the best we can with what we know. And that's okay. What matters is that we keep going, keep learning, and keep choosing to be better, one step at a time.

When the bell rang, Ryan closed his notebook without rereading it. He didn't write it for praise or a grade. It was just something he needed to say—even if only to himself.

As he stood to leave, Mr. Andrews gently tapped his shoulder. "That looked like it came from the heart."

Ryan gave a small nod. "Yeah… I guess it did."

Behind him, Anna glanced over, catching a glimpse of the calm on his face. Savannah raised an eyebrow, curious. Ben clapped him lightly on the back. "You good?"

Ryan nodded. "Yeah. I am."

And for the first time in a long time, he actually meant it.