Chapter 3: Et tu?

Piles and piles of books layed there on my table. Books, diaries and any other document that can give me information about my life, my family, my actions, my entire existence.

I found-

Bam

Bam

Bam

Absolutely nothing-

Yeah nothing, no a single information, well information I already knew

I threw my hands up in exasperation

'What the hell!' I muttered.

No notes, no change in dreams, not even a speck of something juicy.

I slumped down on my chair feeling exhausted. 

"This is impossible" I sigh lifelessly. 

I took a look at my phone and the damn wheel is still spinning…

At least things can't get any worse.

Sighing I stood up, the only way to explore myself is by exploring this world.

I wore the clothes inside my closet.

'Huh' I exclaim in surprise as I see my old stuff crammed inside my closet. "I still have this stuff?"

It was an array of flashy clothes and other things, but what really stood out was a stack of old playing cards, it was the very first thing I really treasured back when I was teen, spending countless hours practicing. I smiled thinking of those past moments, I just shook my head with a smile and returned them to its place.

I got dressed up and went outside.

Luckly, it was a Monday.

Wow never thought I'd say that.

My parents were working and my siblings were out in school, while I would usually go to school as well, but I had other priorities to sort out.

I walked past familiar streets, the faces of my once neighbors came to view, every little detail I found, I inspected.

The posters were more adjusted to the current era, some were posters of awakeners with brand deals, and some were just straight up propaganda.

I explored every inch of my place, the old roads, the bridges, the alleyways, and the buildings.

Nothing looked out of place, not a single thing changed from my memories.

The same restaurants were still at their places, the same houses sported the same designs.

But something… something just felt off.

As if my brain is trying to reject this new reality, trying to emerge a scene unseen by my naked eyes.

I clutched the phone still in my hand, the spin seeing no sign of stopping or even slowing.

I could feel it, the foreboding air, the eerie silence of the usual bustling streets.

When… when did it get so quiet, it was so loud just a moment ago right?

So I did the most logical things at that moment.

I ran away, ran towards the only place I know safe, the old bunker on top of the hill right beside the old church.

The bunker was made by some old folks back in the day, and now it was purposed as a safety room for people trying to run away from danger.

But just as I reached the place, I felt it.

The cold murdered filled eyes boring straight at me. I ran faster hoping, praying to get out of its sight.

But it didn't take long for it to catch up to me.

I can hear its roar behind me, and that's when I made the mistake of looking back.

It was the ugliest monster I saw in my life. It had a lady's head, with a lion the body, with a snake for its tail. Its head, delicate and striking, was that of a woman, her features sharp and mesmerizing. Her eyes gleamed with an ethereal glow, as though they had seen the very beginning of time. Her lips were parted slightly, as if whispering secrets of ancient worlds. Below her head, the body was that of a lion—muscular and golden, with rippling fur that shimmered like the sun's rays piercing through the thick canopy above. Its paws were massive, each one the size of a small boulder, and claws that glinted like polished steel. The lion's body was regal and proud, a powerful reminder of its dominance over the land. But it was her tail that set this creature apart from any known beast. Instead of the usual lion's tail, it was a serpent—long and sinuous, scales glistening like emeralds. The tail curled and slithered, the snake's tongue flickering in and out as if sensing the very air itself.

The creature began pouncing straight at me, like a predator finally seeing its prey, its mouth snarled in delight as it saw the fear in my face.

I could feel my legs heating up from the strain of running, thoughts of prayers came to my head.

But when I was just a bit closer to my destination I felt it.

The heat on my back as the creature sliced its claws through my back, drawing blood.

I felt my breath hitch and my vision darkened and blurred at the same time.

And that was when I stumbled and fell, rolling as my whole body felt like it was on fire.

I saw the head smirking in delight, enjoying the fear of its prey - me.

I crawled towards the bunker, the creature was just walking, I could hear it laugh, its laugh was like a hyenas, but this carried a sense of mockery and enjoyment.

When I reached the bunker, I opened it.

I remember opening the bunker door felt like carrying a ton of bricks, and with my current state, it felt like that but a hundred times heavier.

Just as I was about to go in, the creature pounced on me.

Its lion body pressing me to the floor, its claws sunk deep into my shoulders, its snake tail slithering on my legs, and its head licking my face, tasting me before it decided to eat me whole.

I only did the most obvious thing I could do in my current state, I took a handful of dirt and threw it to the monster's face, hitting its eyes and mouth.

It roared in anger and thrashed on top of me, its claws sliced my body, and its tail loosening up.

At that moment, I slipped out of its grasp and went into the bunker, successfully closing it.

I could hear the monsters roar, it started scratching at the old door, it hinges bending ever so slightly.

"It won't hold" I observed, it will be only a matter of minutes, mayb even seconds before it goes and breaks the door.

 I inspected my wounds… yeah I won't be surviving this.

The deep gash on my chest felt hot as a pool of blood flew right out of me.

There… there was no hope there? Just when I thought I could live a better life. Just when I was ready to enjoy my life again… just when I just wanted to live…

How nostalgic, I remember my past life, it was always like this…

Always so infuriating, always so… so… nothing. I remember why I gave up, living was tiring, it didn't matter how much i did, or how good i did but it will always lead to nothing.

Life is nothing more than a cycle of work and work, but leads to nothing but disappointment.

And yet here I am, still clinging to some kind of speck of hope.

Hoping that maybe, just maybe, just a little speck, that this life won't be the same as the last.

*badum*

What was that? I felt my heartbeat race, I felt as if my whole existence was being questioned right now, the blood seemingly stopped sipping out of my body

*badum*

I hear drum beating, the sounds of howling in my ears

*badum*

I clenched my ears and closed my eyes, I gripped my head tight, I wanted to scream but no voice came out of my mouth. The breaking of the door sounded more evident by the second.

*badum**badum*

The drum beat getting stronger, a pain pierced through my heart, I see flashes in my mind, flashes of the sun, flashes of birds.

*badum**badum*badum*badum*

I… see it, the sun, the sea, the sky, I see all of it.

*badum**badum*badum*badum**badum**badum*badum*badum*

My whole world was spinning, my body convulsing on the floor.

'Et tu?' A voice sounded in my head, what was this? As I continued shaking, my head felt like it was splitting apart.

A voice, distant yet close, like the voice of something ancient, something that had been buried deep inside me, waiting. The question echoed in my skull, like a final betrayal.

My hoarse screams sounded to no one. 

These scenes, these environments, it felt like melting in my mind, as if hot wax was pouring on my back. I see bronze colored feathers as I descend from the sun

*Boom*

And none…

I stopped, the world stopped, the beating of the drums stopped, the pain I felt as if it wasn't present in the first place. As if the world is making way for something, something different, something not from this world at all…

Smoke appeared from thin air, the smoke as if taking the form of a person? A Ghost? Something?

'Et tu?' It whispered and before I knew it, its smoky figure swirled around me, as the smoke entered every crevice of my being.

The drumming resumed louder than ever, the pain searing my back once again

"AGHHHHH!!!" This time my voice sounded loudly through the room. Screams as bronze colored feathers seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

The feathers swirling along the smoke, making a whirlwind around me.

The burning on my back felt hotter, the drum beats louder and louder and louder and louder…

I feel something growing on my back, something trying to break free. I feel tears coming from my eyes, tears of bronze.

I clutched my clothes, feeling the heat on my back, I clawed my clothes, trying to rip it off, trying to let the heat on my back to be free…

Memories of my past life surface like a loaded gun, bullets of scenery come to my forefront, memories of failures, memories of despair, nothing but lost hope and the bleakness of life.

Images of failure, of futile effort, of lost dreams. A thousand moments when I had believed that the cycle of despair would end, only for it to repeat itself again.

Now I see the image of my hopeless self under the monster just before this, its blood lust and the despair seen in my eyes.

I felt my head rupture… being rebuilt into something, something new

This new life, it was given to me, I didn't want anyone to take it from me, especially not that ugly looking monster.

*badum**badum*badum*badum**badum**badum*badum*badum*

The image of broken dreams, the image of countless despair. The image of fleeting hope.

Limbs exploded from my back as the bronze feathers multiplied

I can feel it, I can move it. The limbs were flapping trying to get free.

I can hear it, 

the call of the sun, 

the call of the sky, 

the call of the soaring birds

I reach out to the bright burning sun.

I hear it… the call for the flightless.

I can feel its name, I share his emotions, I share his entire being

He the one who flew too high, the one who let hubris get in his way

Its ego encompasses my very being…

Its question of doubt, the betrayal of my very being…

Et tu?

Its name popped in my mind, as the bronze wings fully opened through the dark bunker, lighting it up in a bronze hue.

Its name waiting to be called, waiting for me to call upon it, waiting for a command

It was…

"Icarus, the Flightless Wings" I whispered, as the wings came to life.

At that moment, the doors of the bunker were fully opened and the head of the monster came into view.

As if by reflex, his wings started to light up, taking a mechanical glow and he flew out of the door in surprising speed. 

He went higher and higher, up until he could see his whole town, his hands reached upon the clouds.

His hand clenched on his phone and he could see the monster staring at him with anger and disbelief.

He wanted to defeat it. To prove to himself that he was better than his past self, that he can become better.

So he soared downwards at an unbelievable speed.

His wings obeyed his every command.

This time, he'll soar to greater heights