Chapter 11: I Watched Three Girls Fight Over My Dirty Laundry

Saturday morning. 8:00 a.m.

I was still half-asleep when Reina banged on my door like the apocalypse was here.

"Kaito Tenma. It's time."

I opened the door, eyes barely open. "Time for what?"

She held up a clipboard and a whistle.

"The Housekeeping Duel. Event One of the Harem Olympics. Begins now."

---

Rules of the Match

Reina dragged all three girls into my house.

Each one was given:

One set of cleaning tools

One checklist of chores

One hour to impress me

Winner gets:

A date ticket

One-on-one time with me (which none of them asked for, but all acted like they owned)

I was not ready for what came next.

---

Contestant One: Yuna "I Clean With Chaos" Hoshigawa

Yuna walked into my room, grabbed a duster, and immediately started swinging it like a weapon.

"Dust bunnies fear me," she said, kicking open the closet.

She pulled out my laundry basket and dumped it on the floor.

Then, with a smirk:

"You want your underwear folded by color or by vibe?"

I screamed internally.

She started humming while folding socks into heart shapes.

Somehow she made vacuuming look like a seductive dance.

Reina just wrote: "Concerning. Effective."

---

Contestant Two: Riko "I'm Not Trying (But I Am)" Hanazawa

Riko walked in with a mop and a face redder than the mop handle.

"I'm only doing this because I hate messes," she said. "Not because I want the stupid date ticket."

Then she found… the plushie.

My childhood dog plushie, Mr. Woofington. One eye missing. Still smelled like strawberry candy.

She froze.

Then smiled.

Just a little.

"...You kept this?"

I nodded, a little embarrassed.

She gently wiped the dust off it and set it beside my pillow.

Then mumbled, "You're softer than you pretend to be, idiot."

Reina wrote: "Unexpected emotional damage. +5 points."

---

Contestant Three: Airi "Welcome to the Future" Yukishiro

Airi entered with a robot vacuum.

It had facial recognition and was labeled "KAITO-CLEANER v1.6."

It beeped:

> "LOCATING DUST. LOCATING DNA. LOCATING UNNECESSARY WOMEN."

"Did… did it just insult Yuna?"

"Probably," Airi said, pushing her glasses up. "I programmed it for efficiency."

The vacuum zipped across the room like a demon, climbed a bookshelf, and somehow reorganized my manga by publication date.

Yuna ducked.

Riko screamed.

I blinked.

Airi smiled sweetly. "Clean and lethal."

Reina wrote: "What in God's name. +8 for innovation. -1 for possible war crimes."

---

End of Event 1 – Results

After one hour, Reina stood tall.

"In third place… Riko Hanazawa. Strong heart. Poor vacuuming technique."

Riko crossed her arms. "Tch. Not like I wanted a dumb ticket anyway."

"In second place… Yuna Hoshigawa. Points for creativity. And illegal sock origami."

Yuna pouted. "Rigged."

"And in first place…"

Reina paused. Looked me in the eye.

"…is the vacuum."

WHAT?!

Airi calmly nodded. "Acceptable."

"But the date ticket—"

"I'll go in its place," she added, already grabbing it off the table.

NO ONE STOPPED HER.

---

Later That Day – My Room (Still Not Clean Enough)

I collapsed onto my bed, emotionally drained.

Three girls fighting over my laundry.

A vacuum nearly deleting my identity.

And the next event was tomorrow.

I looked at the schedule Reina left behind.

"Event 2: Lunchbox Battle – Who Can Cook Kaito's Heart?"

I wept softly.