CHAPTER 1

I Didn't See This Coming (1)

When's the moment in life you feel the most wronged?

When someone misunderstands you?

When you're falsely accused?

When you work yourself to the bone and don't get what you deserve?

Sure, everyone probably goes through moments like that.

But—

"It looks like this disease is going to be named after you."

Hearing crap like that…

"You probably have about six months left."

…being slapped with a terminal diagnosis before even hitting thirty — that's a whole new level of unfair.

'Ha… what's the point of winning the damn lottery now?'

I was twenty-nine.

No parents, no inheritance — just a life of honest, hard work.

And this is what I get? A death sentence out of nowhere?

To make it worse, it happened on the very day I won first prize in the lottery — the day I thought life was finally rewarding me for living like a worker ant.

So before I died, I said it.

'God, I don't want to die. I don't care who or what — just let me live. Please.'

I really did say that.

But there's no way I could've known it'd actually work.

Let alone that I'd become an immortal, indestructible skeleton — the strongest undying being imaginable.

"My king."

"The immortal sovereign who brought us all to where we are today!"

Surrounded by praise and worship, a stark-white skeleton let out a small sigh.

[Finally… this nightmare is over.]

"…Pardon?"

[I'm finally going to be able to eat, drink, and crap like a normal person.]

"…I— I'm sorry?"

[Maybe I'll even be able to grow some hair again.]

"…S-Sir?"

Isaac.

The world called him the "Skeleton King" — a name so infamous that even people who couldn't remember their own country's name knew his.

A monster before whom countless heroes knelt in pools of their own blood.

Wherever he and his undead army passed, death and desolation — grotesquely resembling his own form — followed.

Literally, the Demon King of Corpses.

Master of the walking dead.

Even the Pope of the Holy Empire wouldn't dare declare a crusade against him — he was a being who defied the gods themselves.

But for all his fearsome might as king of demons, Isaac had one colossal problem.

'Goddamn it… I can't even take a crap in this body.'

It was bad enough that he died before he could spend a single cent of his lottery winnings, killed by a rare disease.

But in the moment his life ended—

He woke up in another world. A skeleton. Unable to eat, sleep, or feel pain.

Worse yet, he died a virgin and woke up as a skeleton. That alone pissed him off enough to stubbornly cling to his life — or whatever you could call it.

He started as a bottom-tier summoned beast — a mere Skeleton — enslaved to a necromancer's will.

He clawed his way up, evolving into a Lich — king of the undead.

He fed and led a starving, defeated horde of demon-kind back to prosperity.

"My lord."

"Our mighty king."

The terrifying Demon King revered even by gods.

"Our king, whose very name oozes pettiness and cunning — Isaac!"

[It's Isaac! How many damn times do I have to tell you idiots — it's Isaac!]

Kim Isaac — born and raised in Korea — thumped his skeletal chest in frustration.

But honestly, after a few hundred years of these idiots mispronouncing his name, he didn't care anymore.

[Today… this damn contract finally ends.]

"…Sir?"

The Skeleton King's bones clattered as he raised his non-existent eyes in joy.

[At long last, I can eat. I can sleep. I can take a shit.]

***

Kim Isaac just wanted to be human.

Or heck, he'd even settle for a dinosaur egg or lion dung — anything but this cursed bag of bones.

But no matter what he tried, he could never escape his undead body.

Still, he didn't give up.

—Demon King, we propose a contract.

The gods approached Isaac, standing alone atop demon-kind.

—Fulfill our requests, and we will grant you a human body.

And so, ten years passed since the deal was struck.

BOOM!

—!

A giant's severed head crashed down into the heavens.

The gods turned pale.

They realized — the owner of that head was a terror that had haunted the divine realm for millennia.

"…Holy shit."

They stared at the skeleton who had dragged the giant's head here.

"That crazy bastard actually did it."

And the Skeleton King, eyes blazing in his empty skull, spoke.

[Alright. I've wiped out every rebel defying the gods.]

The gods fell into chaos.

"This is insane…"

"Ten years… he did all this in just ten years…"

A feat even the gods hadn't dared attempt for thousands of years — completed.

The Skeleton King's gaze sharpened.

[Enough small talk. Pay me. You said if I completed twelve missions, you'd make me human.]

A god scrambled over.

"Forgive us! We didn't expect you to finish so quickly…"

[Huh?]

"Well… turning someone like you into a human isn't exactly easy, you see. If you could just do one more little task, we'd really appreciate—"

Isaac chuckled darkly.

His bones rattled with laughter.

[One more? Sure, why not. Sounds easy.]

"Then—"

BOOM!

[Do I look like some pushover to you? Who the hell do you think you're trying to scam, assholes?]

The Skeleton King's murderous aura exploded.

After all, on his way here, he'd overheard an interesting little secret.

"They say… there's no actual way to turn that Skeleton King into a human."

"Seriously? Then why did the gods even bother making a deal with him?"

"Why else? He's a being summoned through forbidden magic — outside the laws of this world. He doesn't disappear because he's not bound by those laws, he's undead so he doesn't age, and his power is so dangerous it could threaten both the mortal and divine realms. So the 'brilliant' plan was: if we can't get rid of him, why not use him for the gods' benefit. Genius, right?"

"Wow. That's… impressively shameless."

"Right? I mean— AAH! Skull King!"

As the gods gossiped behind his back, the Skull King walked toward them with a look of pure disgust.

"What? You're telling me that if I want to become human, I have to do good deeds in the divine realm to wash away my karma? And all I have to do is take care of twelve calamities that even you gods can't handle?"

The gods exchanged awkward glances, clearly caught off guard by his intensity. Their whispers made it obvious they were fed up with the situation.

"What do we do? Looks like he's figured it out."

"I told you from the start this was a bad idea. Who thought it was smart to bring a maniac like him into the divine realm?"

"How were we supposed to know he'd clear twelve world-ending threats in just ten years…? We figured it'd take him at least 500 years each!"

No sooner had they spoken than an explosive roar rang out.

"That's all you bastards have to say?!"

BOOM!

The Skull King looked like he was about to rip their faces off and wear them like masks.

"You never intended to make me human in the first place, did you?"

The gods laughed like it was obvious, like why would he even take it so seriously?

"This was all for your own good, don't you see? Why are you so obsessed with becoming human, anyway? Look at you — no eating, no sleeping, no dying. That body is practically perfect—"

"Shut it! Like you would understand how I feel!"

Even now, he could never forget it.

"With this, the Demon King shall be born!"

The face of the summoner who brought him — a foreign soul — into this world just to create the ultimate Demon King.

The faces of the people who screamed and ran away the moment they saw him — regardless of whether they were men or women.

The sneers of the priests and knights who charged him like he was some low-tier monster they could easily slay.

But more than any of that—

"I hate horror. I hate skeletons, corpses, gore — all of it! Do you have any idea how miserable I am having to look at this skull in the mirror every morning?!"

"...?!"

Which is why the Skull King glared toward the palace of the gods with even more disdain.

He'd spent his life working himself to the bone to feed his subordinates — never saving a single coin for himself.

"And after ten years of being your errand boy — shining shoes, cleaning toilets, giving massages, exterminating pests — all unpaid, by the way — I'm billing you for emotional damages and compensation."

The gods, stunned by his boldness, immediately blocked his path.

"If anything, we should be charging you!"

"What did you just say, punk?"

"You know how many divine-grade elixirs you've consumed while living here?!"

The Skull King snorted like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You mean those scalp moisturizers and red energy drinks? Yeah, thanks — real lifesavers."

"Moist— Moisturizer?! Energy drink—?!"

"Each drop of that elixir contains tens of thousands of years of divine energy! Wait… did you just say red?"

"Yeah. The stuff sealed in the dragon-patterned box."

The gods were dumbfounded.

He was talking about one of the eight forbidden treasures — hidden in the deepest vault of the divine treasury.

"A treasure?!"

"You actually drank that?! You went into a restricted area on purpose?!"

"Relax. I didn't want to waste what was left, so I used it to polish my boots. Smelled pretty good, too."

"...?!"

"What? You told me I could drink any recovery potions I found in the box."

The gods clutched their heads in despair.

That box wasn't supposed to mean that box.

They realized then — it was useless. Reasoning with this lunatic was impossible.

Of all things… one of the eight forbidden treasures…

"No matter. In fact, this is perfect. While you're here in the divine realm, we can finally wipe out every last demon."

"A shame, really. You were such a useful little pawn."

Hearing them casually talk about breaking their contract — about wiping out his subordinates — the Skull King's eyes sharpened, losing any trace of humor.

"You're going to kill me? I don't care if this is your home turf — if you want to take me on, you'd better bring at least a Supreme God."

The Skull King, who had been fully prepared to leave quietly if they'd just honored their deal, began drawing power.

BOOM.

The earth trembled. The aura he unleashed was in a completely different league — and several of the lower gods instinctively backed away in fear.

"It wasn't for nothing that I made the contract in the form of a Demon King's pact! He's an existence that cannot be destroyed! How are you planning to clean up this mess…!"

But it was at that moment.

Craack!

[Kuhk!]

The Skeleton King suddenly staggered. The magic he had been using vanished without a trace.

And that wasn't all.

"I… I can't move my body."

At the same time, a mocking voice echoed toward the bewildered Skeleton King.

"It's useless. Anyone whose name is written here cannot so much as twitch."

[!]

The Skeleton King flinched at the sight of the gods.

It was because of the object they were holding.

"A… bug?"

It was the preserved corpse of a dead insect.

But this was an artifact that could seal away any calamity without leaving even a single trace of magic behind.

"Do you know how this world has managed to survive until now? It's all thanks to these. Countless catastrophes in the past have been sealed away by them."

As proof, when the preserved insect with the Skeleton King's name written on it began to glow, the Skeleton King felt his very soul being drawn out.

In the end, the Skeleton King let out a hollow laugh, as if utterly fed up.

[So this employment contract was just bait. From the very beginning, your goal was to rip out my soul and seal me away, huh?]

The gods, as if expecting him to be grateful for even that, finally revealed their true colors.

"Did a filthy Demon King like you really think you could walk the same ground as the gods?"

"You should have been grateful that we even used you as our hands and feet. And yet you dared to desire compensation beyond your station?"

[What? You little…!]

"Well, we were told to use this when you found out the truth, but it seems you figured it out faster than we thought."

"Still, go in peace. We've even prepared a new body for you — one that looks exactly like you. Isn't that wonderful?"

The object sealing him — the preserved insect — took on the grotesque form of a shiny, bald maggot.

The Skeleton King's eyes blazed with murderous intent.

[Couldn't you have at least brought something with hair — like a furry caterpillar?!]

"Hah, are you still obsessed with something as trivial as hair? No matter. Your skeletal body and subordinates will serve us as slaves for eternity, so don't wor—Gah?!"

Crack!

The gods conducting the soul-sealing ritual were startled.

The preserved insect binding the Skeleton King's soul had begun to crack.

As the gods froze in shock, a chilling, spine-tingling laugh echoed through the air.

[You idiots. If you were going to do this, you should have done it instantly and without getting caught!]

"W-Wait!!!"

Before they could even fully process that something was wrong, an enormous explosion shook the divine realm.

Kugugung!

The gods barely regained their senses moments later.

They paled as they looked over their collapsing divine realm, devastated by the explosion.

"That insane… bastard!"

"He self-destructed with his own body?! Is he out of his mind?!"

But the higher gods froze for another reason.

"What about him?! Did the ritual activate properly?!"

"Y-Yes?"

"If we've lost the Skeleton Demon King, it'll cause an irreversible disaster!"

For the first time in centuries, the gods' expressions contorted — but only for a moment.

They soon found the preserved maggot amidst the rubble.

Unlike before, the hardened maggot was now wriggling faintly.

"The ritual was successful, and the Demon King's soul is properly sealed within."

At those words, the higher gods finally breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"Then it's done."

Looking at the pitiful maggot struggling desperately as if begging for its life, the gods let out weary sighs.

"That lunatic… How much damage did he cause all by himself…"

"It's fortunate that this Demon King was in an undead body, which is fatally weak to divine power. Otherwise, this method wouldn't have worked at all."

"Indeed. No doubt he was trying to become human to eliminate that one fatal weakness. A human body is inherently compatible with divine power, after all."

The gods burst into laughter.

"Then let's take this opportunity to exterminate the entire demon race. Doesn't killing demons empower us further?"

"Excellent. And we can keep the beautiful and presentable ones as slaves."

"They're the Demon King's subordinates. They won't go down easily. Besides, the gods cannot directly intervene in the mortal world."

"Then… do we have any other methods…?"

But at that moment, the elder god rolled up his sleeves.

"'Missionary work' is what allows gods to flourish."

[!]

"I will use all my power to create a vessel for a Saint — a missionary — and send them down to the mortal world. All authority for exterminating demons and spreading the faith will belong to this Saint."

"Is… is that really alright? The cost in power must be enormous…"

"I'll just sleep for a thousand years. But make sure that only a beautiful, obedient soul is chosen to inhabit the precious vessel of the Saint."

"Seal the maggot containing the Demon King in a place so deep that no one can approach it, and guard it with the utmost vigilance."

"Yes, sir!"

With this, the name of the detestable Demon King, who had irked the gods for centuries, would disappear.

They sighed in relief as they watched the maggot being dragged off to the torture chamber.

"That arrogant Skeleton Demon King… We'll have him spend the rest of eternity regaining his senses through torture inside that maggot."

***

Yeah, regaining his senses.

Regaining one's senses is good.

When a skeleton lives for hundreds of years, it's only natural to get scammed a few times, have your soul ripped out, and maybe even get sealed in a maggot to be tortured.

Yeah, sure, that happens.

But still…

"Oh my, little Saint. Are you awake?"

The Skeleton King was utterly bewildered at the situation unfolding before him.

What the hell? Little one?

Why am I not a maggot anymore??

No — more importantly…

"A Saint? A Saaaint?!"