The Night Sky

It's already been a week...

Everything is blending together but it's in an entirely different way than before.

I've never felt so alive.

It's like...I can actually breathe here.

Even though the compound smells a little musty, the food's not all that great, the air is a bit dry. There are bugs and rodents and things that aren't entirely pleasant. The people here are guarded and suspicious, even with their friendly exteriors. The building we're in is run-down and old and looks like it's on its last legs.

I find myself bursting into tears, not of despair, but of happiness.

It's not just the first day.

The first week of crying in relief.

We can see the sun, we can feel the wind, we can walk and breathe and eat what we want to, whenever we want to. There's a lack of the...suffocating pressure that comes from knowing that at any minute, those beings will be able to march in and do what they please with you.

Every time I stand outside and I look at the sky, I find my cheeks wet. I can't contain the relief that I feel, knowing that for just this moment, for this one, tiny, insignificant moment...I'm not in danger.

It's embarrassing, honestly. Nobody else is walking around this compound weeping like some victorian ghost.

But I can't seem to help it. Every moment I'm here is another moment I don't have to spend there, in the cage they put me in, and it just...overwhelms me.

One night I look up to the sky - a night sky they rarely ever let us see, and a shooting star flies across my vision.

...I don't know what it is.

I can't say.

I just know that I'm on my knees, openly weeping, my body wracked with the sobs.

A heavy hand settles on my head.

I turn and look to see Eric. He crouches beside me, looking at me a long moment, then looks to the sky. "...Yeah." His voice is rough. He sits, and puts an arm over my shoulder.

He's not crying.

But...I feel him tremble against me.

"...It feels like a dream." I whisper, the words catching in my throat.

"Yeah...it does." He swallows. "It's not, though." He laughs a little. "This place sucks." He smiles a little wider, then, and laughs a little more.

I laugh a bit with him, sniffling. "Yeah. Yeah, it really does."

He's right, it really sucks here. But it's not as bad as it could be. We're still able to sleep in beds and have our basic needs met.

And, unlike back in the compound...

We have access to showers and real baths.

The water isn't always warm, but it's a normal shower, not the sonic treatment we're given back there.

And we're not home.

We're not even guaranteed yet to ever see it.

We may never leave this planet alive.

And we might-

Might...be dragged back there. We might lose and be dragged back to that nightmare, and-

I'm crying.

Laughing.

Shaking uncontrollably.

My cheeks hurt with the strain.

I just-

I can't stop.

I'm not even really sure why.

I feel so light.

Like the entire weight of everything that happened has just...

Lifted away.

The planet doesn't feel so oppressive anymore, despite the fact that we're still on the same world, in the same galaxy, and the same captors could potentially find this place.

They haven't yet, but I don't think they'd have any issue finding it. If they know to look.

And it doesn't matter.

Nothing matters, because for this moment, this single, insignificant moment, I feel like I'm alive.

I'm human.

No, no.

That's not it.

It's...

I feel. Human.

And that's a gift I never thought I'd get.

The tears flow down my cheeks. Eric holds onto me and doesn't say anything. I'm glad. If he did, I don't know what it'd be.

We sit and watch the sky.

The moon is a crescent.

It looks beautiful, and for a moment it seems to be shining just for us.

I feel exhausted. The crying takes a lot out of me.

But it feels good to be able to cry without worrying that I'll be reprimanded for it.

It feels good to cry because I'm relieved.

Because I'm happy.

Not just from fear and misery.

The tears eventually dry and the moon has set by then, the night growing deeper, and the temperature colder. I shiver, and Eric nudges me to stand. "Pretty sure they're making that shitty cabbage-like soup for dinner." He smiles, and the expression looks like relief, even though I can see a bit of tension behind it. Like he's still afraid this won't work out. But that's fine.

I feel the fear, too.

But I can also hope, and that's something we haven't really been able to have for so long now.

"I don't really want cabbage..." I make a face.

He snickers. "Me neither. Come on. Let's get there before it's cold."

I nod, wiping the last tears off my cheeks, and stand, walking with him.

It's been a long time since we were able to just be human.

And right now...

I think we all need it.

The base isn't all that large, though I think that's in part due to how cramped the spaces are. Most people share a room with a half dozen or so others. The beds are set in rows and are a bit like the bunk beds you'd see at a sleep-away camp, with two or three levels of bedding.

The beds are...not great, but they're actual beds. Not cots. They're basically just straw, sand, and who-knows-what stuffed in fabric, but it's still better than the floor or a cot, and a lot more comfortable.

And the people...

They're gruff.

Cold.

Guarded.

...But they're not bad.

I think...a lot of them...are kind. They're scared and tired and exhausted and probably worried this place is going to be discovered. And they have a lot of reason for that. If we're found, the only option we'll have is to flee, to abandon all the roots they've tentatively put down and hope to escape with our freedom and lives into the harsh wilderness again. It's hard to imagine the stress and pressure that'd cause. They've got to be feeling the weight of it every moment they spend in this compound.

But they're kind, despite that.

One of the women of the compound - Sinead - smiles and joins us in our walk toward the mess hall. She has naturally curly, blonde hair and blue eyes, and the most charming smile I've seen on this entire world. It's hard to imagine anyone in our situation smiling like she does. But it's a welcome sight. "You two alright?" She glances between the two of us.

Eric releases my shoulder and shrugs. "Sat outside a little too long and got cold."

...I appreciate that he's covering for my red face and probably puffy eyes. I can feel them throbbing, my cheeks still wet.

"Aw." Her expression softens, her smile going a touch wider. "Well...can't blame you two." She shakes her head. "It's hard not to spend too long out there at first, huh?"

"Yeah." I nod and smile. It's weak and shaky, but it's honest.

"You two headed for dinner, too?"

"Yeah." Eric nods. "If it's cabbage soup, we're turning right around, though."

She laughs. "No, it's the root stew."

I make a face. "...Ugh." That stuff is nasty.

She laughs. "Ah, it's not bad with salt." She smiles and winks. "Come on. Let's go see if we can snag a table. There are a few of my friends there I'd love you to meet."

It takes me a moment to register what she's said.

Friends?

If she's introducing us to her friends..

Is she suggesting we're her friends, too??

...It seems a bit early for that.

But.

I'm not gonna question it.

I'm just going to hope that it's true. Because...

Well. I think I'd like these people to be my friends, too.