chapter 43

TWO and a half weeks later, Billie studied the exquisite emerald engagement ring on her finger.

It was a slim elegant ring mounted with a deep green stone of surpassing beauty that complemented her small hand; Billie had to keep on checking it out to convince herself that she had not accidentally stepped into a dream. When she was holding onto so many secrets, how could planning her wedding feel real? First and foremost, Alexei respected her for her ability to tell the truth. Finding out that she had lied and lied again would be a very unpleasant surprise for him.

'You have to tell him about Nicky before you marry him,' Hilary pronounced without hesitation.

'If I do, he won't marry me,' Billie muttered feverishly.

Unmoved by that view, Hilary shook her blonde head. 'That's a risk you have to take.'

But Billie's courage had failed her on that score. Even two weeks after the proposal, wedding bells were still pealing inside her head. She finally had the magical right to hug the guy she had fallen in love with, although opportunities to do so had been few because he had hardly been around since the day he had proposed. Billie had stayed on Speros to organise the wedding while Alexei was abroad on business. Even so, her world had suddenly become a place of infinite promise and happiness, and confessing up to the deception of the year over their son, Nicky, had little appeal. Indeed her dishonesty hung over her like a giant black rain cloud that carried the threat of imminent doom.

Her face very pale, Billie murmured tautly, 'Alexei might try to take Nicky away from me.'

Hilary frowned. 'Why would he do something like that?'

/> 'Because he'll be so angry. He's a control freak. I'll have let him down, hidden the truth from him…and he hates lies. An illegitimate child will also embarrass his family. He'll blame me.'

'Of course she can't tell Alexei about Nicky until she's got that wedding ring safely on her finger!' Lauren broke in, shooting her younger sister a look of angry derision that dismissed her advice. 'He's a Drakos and as slippery in the wedding stakes as a man can be. He's very wary of marriage—of course he is…his father did have four wives! Give Alexei an excuse this big and he'll call it off!'

As her mother voiced her daughter's deepest fears Billie shifted uncomfortably in her seat because her conscience was absolutely writhing. It had proved impossible to keep the truth from Lauren once the wedding was being planned and, in some ways, her mother's understanding of Billie's predicament and mood was superior to Hilary's, whose moral compass was less yielding. Lauren totally appreciated that Billie's greatest apprehension was losing the chance to marry the man that she loved. At least if they were married, Billie thought fearfully, she would have the chance to work on the damage she had done to their relationship. Unmarried and living apart, what opportunity would she have to persuade Alexei to calm down and see her viewpoint?

In addition, Lauren saw no reason why her daughter should shoulder all the blame for the fallout caused by Alexei's amnesia. That disastrous accident could not be laid at anyone's door. But Alexei had then swiftly got tangled up with Calisto in what had appeared to be the romance of the century and it was for his sake rather than her own that Billie had remained silent. Her mother had deemed that decision 'plain stupidity'.

'Right now, Billie has to keep quiet and save her big announcement about Nicky for when they're married,' Lauren declared in a tone of flat conviction. 'Having carried on the pretence this long, what do another few days matter?'

'What matters is that Billie's relationship with Alexei has changed beyond recognition since he proposed,' Hilary argued vehemently. 'And if she doesn't tell him now, it'll make her look calculating.'

Torn apart by the discussion, Billie went into her bedroom where the beautiful embroidered wedding gown she had purchased in Athens hung in readiness for her wedding day, which was now only forty-eight hours away. She had prayed that Alexei would recall the night they had spent together without her interference. While she had been in Athens she had even consulted a psychiatrist about Alexei's amnesia. She had received cold comfort in response. Alexei's memory had only misplaced a few hours of the very distressing day when he had buried his parents. Some day he might recall those hours or missing fragments of them, but the longer time went on, the less likely that would be. Furthermore, filling in that gap in his memory for him was unlikely to help him to recall events for himself.

In truth, Billie didn't need anyone to tell her what she ought to do. She knew that with every day that passed she was sinking deeper into the quagmire of her own deception. She already knew what was right and what was wrong. She knew the difference. She had no fancy excuses to hide behind. Tell him, a little voice shrieked in her conscience, but she had seen very little of Alexei since he had asked her to marry him and what she had to say could scarcely be passed on during a phone conversation. He was due back at the villa for dinner that very evening. Once again Billie began mustering her courage in an effort to bite the bullet and confess all.

Garbed in a dark green knee-length strappy silk dress, Billie walked into the Drakos villa. Anatalya greeted her with warmth. While Billie was not quite as popular as an island girl born and bred on Speros would have been as Alexei's future bride, she was the nearest equivalent and, as far as the locals were concerned, infinitely preferable to a stranger. Billie glanced at her reflection in a tall mirror. She had done a fair amount of shopping in Athens, recognising that Alexei expected her to dress up for her new role in his life. For a young woman who had once had no particular interest in fashion or her appearance, she had made a big effort. Her hair was trimmed into a more sleek style and her nails were manicured.

Anything to make herself more attractive, anything to please, she ruminated with a frown of growing self-loathing. She had once thought that her appearance didn't matter that much. Now, instead, she thought of Calisto and her well-groomed predecessors and cringed at her naivety. A homespun unadorned woman was unlikely to appeal for very long to a male with Alexei's sophisticated tastes. His standards had to become hers.