Featherless Birds Bring Down Dreams (1)

But I know little about dreams; I had never even heard the word except from the world outside, from you.

(1)

That was the first time we had seen rain. It came with sudden violence, without prelude or warning. It seemed like one of the reasons humanity might have gone extinct, and moments later, I was certain of it, as its drops were followed by massive explosions in the sky, like celestial bombs cascading down relentlessly. Soon after, the world darkened. Dense clouds formed, obscuring the light of the Great One, and the rain-laden winds turned into raging waves that nearly tore us from our spots. Walking became impossible.

We had no choice but to take shelter beneath a large metal sheet we found along the way. Underneath it, we lit a small fire, hoping it might grant us some warmth amidst the madness. We sat there, waiting for the rain to subside, listening to the rhythm of the drops falling on the metal, and to Two's incessant stories, which were already becoming tedious. Thus, I found no escape but to try and drift away, even just a little, hoping to reclaim the peace that had been stolen from me earlier.

Two was speaking with enthusiasm, her eyes gleaming in the fire's reflections on the metal: "... And that's when Eight realized the Stars would have no way to survive except by arming themselves. It was the first time in history that Stars were recorded carrying solar weapons. Their goal was to protect the universe from the Black Light. More than two thousand stars set off aboard the Polar Ship, heading towards an unknown fate outside our galaxy, the Milky Way, in an attempt to save the world."

Four interjected, her voice contemplative: "And then Seven and those who remained with her at the school designed the Sky Angel Ship after contact was lost with the previous group. The Sun told us that story in the early days."

Silence fell for a few seconds before Two continued in a lower voice, as if afraid to admit it: "Seven and Fifteen were chosen to pave the way for the next generation—us. The Sun also chose them to prepare our ship, the greatest ship ever built. They said that those who came next deserved a masterpiece to distinguish them."

Then she sighed heavily, lowering her head: "I feel sorrow for our destroying it."

Our destroying it?! That phrase was enough to ignite a spark of anger within me. I could no longer remain silent. Provoked, I cut short my moment of repose, broke my silence without fully emerging from my torpor, and burst out with clear indignation: "Come on! I don't think the fall was our fault at all! Three's piloting and Four's command observation are unparalleled. The previous Seven should have checked the ship properly before putting it into service, and taken it on at least one test run! The predicament we're in now, and all the disasters we've faced, are because of her stupid, broken ship. A masterpiece?"

Two gave me a stern look, then replied in a serious tone: "If you have issues with our predecessors, at least speak respectfully. And sit down!"

Four intervened, though her tone wasn't as sharp as usual, rather somewhat understanding: "It's not because she praised me, but I agree with Seven. If the ship had gone out on a prior test run, the malfunction would certainly have appeared. Crashing before even crossing a single galaxy shows it wasn't fit for sailing from the start. The first day ended with us trying to grasp our hopeless state, exploring our surroundings fruitlessly, and wading through troubles. We weren't given enough time to discuss the fall and its causes like we are now."

I raised my eyebrows sarcastically, glancing at Two out of the corner of my eye. Someone ran off in the evening to gather some stories, tirelessly doing her enthusiastic job of chronicling, and now she wants to sleep. I sat down heavily, betting that Two shared my feeling, but she didn't back down from her point. Instead, she continued, her gaze shifting between me and Four: "You were both in the observation chamber when the incident occurred, and there was no malfunction in the indicators, as you claimed. So where could the fault possibly be, according to your expertise?"

Four sighed, crossing her arms: "It's not like we have extensive, practical experience in shipbuilding. Only the Wise Sun could state the cause with certainty. But if you want me to guess, the initial fault wasn't in the piloting equipment, or Three would have noticed immediately, and she wouldn't have been able to control it as she did during the fall. Nor was it in the sensors or the engine, because any malfunction there we would have seen instantly on the indicators. The ship's hull design is meticulous, and it launched perfectly, no doubt about that. So... there's really no room for guessing here."

I didn't like her answer, so I cut in sharply: "But it's impossible for it to fall without a malfunction! What if the sensors were frozen on a normal reading, while the ship was sinking without us realizing?"

Four's eyes widened for a moment, then she gave me a puzzled look: "How could it sink without us realizing? And frozen sensors?"

She suddenly fell silent. I saw her link her fingertips together and tap her index fingers on her knees while staring quietly at the ground. She was thinking, which meant she was starting to take my possibility seriously. Moments of anticipation passed. Suddenly, she raised her head, her eyes widening as she stared directly at me. She couldn't hide her expression, and I knew exactly what it meant: she had solved it. "The administrative gear chamber at the bottom of the ship! The flooding must have impeded it without us noticing, freezing parts of the main computer due to insufficient power reaching them. And who would care about something like that at the start of the journey if the readings were normal? Seven! You're a genius!"

But Two didn't share her enthusiasm. She raised an eyebrow, saying skeptically: "Shouldn't Three have realized it then, from the ship's sudden heaviness?"

Four waved her hand dismissively, as if rejecting the idea: "It was a small leak initially, barely noticeable in the handling. You know how the mind adapts to minor environmental changes? It's hard to notice something creeping up slowly, just like if you were in a room whose temperature was gradually rising – you wouldn't feel it until it exceeded your tolerance level."

I continued her train of thought enthusiastically, but she wasn't the only one connecting the dots. I finished for her, thinking aloud: "It started with a tiny leak from the bottom. The extra weight wasn't an issue at the start of the journey, but undoubtedly the leak widened over time. As we approached Earth's strong gravity field, we fell due to the sudden weight. Maybe Three tried to lift the ship, but she wasn't prepared to handle it without prior warning from the observation chamber."

But then I sighed with weariness, realizing this was all just pointless debate. True, the possibility was logical, but it was an assumption we could never confirm. The ship was now buried in the dirt, and what evidence remained was obliterated when we blew up the gear and engine rooms. Even if we knew the cause, what then? What's the use of discovering why we fell when we're already stuck here?! I felt the need to end this futile discussion, so I feigned interest in something else and suddenly asked, deliberately changing the subject with a question utterly devoid of significance, a meaningless question: "Two! I have a silly question. Where do animals hide in this weather, I wonder?"

(2)

I was wrong! That question opened a Pandora's box, turning the matter into a lecture so long that Four couldn't bear to listen anymore and got up to prepare something for breakfast. Meanwhile, I sat there, unable to even blink throughout Two's talk, because I knew if she stopped now, she would never answer another question from me, and I would lose the greatest encyclopedia of knowledge the universe had ever known. The weather outside was still stormy, and the cold continued to gnaw at my words slowly despite my proximity to the fire, making me truly wonder what the others were doing out there at this very moment. Despite all the positivity I tried to maintain, the negative thoughts relentlessly plagued me. Then Four finally broke her silence, saying: "May I interrupt your conversation for a moment?"

I looked at her eagerly. Finally, a chance to escape! "Of course!! Do you have any comments?! Two will definitely have an answer!!"

But she didn't have a comment, rather a question. She looked up at me, then at Two, and asked in a calm tone: "I was thinking, what will we do later, when the rain stops?"

Two answered after a moment of reflection: "When Seven and I went out at dawn today, we spotted several large structures north of the city, west of our current location. It's possible we might find some necessary equipment inside them that could help us repair the ship."

Four frowned slightly and said doubtfully: "So, you want to return there despite what happened…"

Two nodded confidently, as if she hadn't hesitated at all in her decision, before adding in a firm tone: "I am one of the Older Sisters, and I absolutely refuse to abandon them, no matter what I might have done. As leader of the Exploration Squad, I will fulfill my mandatory duty and find what we need to survive and return."

I sighed as I looked at her. Still thinking only of returning after they threw us out of there. Is that all that matters to her? Before I could open my mouth to object, Four spoke up: "Ha! How selfish of me! Absolutely… My apologies. I too, as leader of the Engineering Squad, will assist you in your mission. I will select what we need to complete the maintenance campaign, and we will return!"

I lifted my head and stared at them with displeasure: "All you think about is returning! I'm not going back until I get an exciting story."

Four laughed and patted my shoulder, saying: "I'm sure we'll find one for you. Ah! What a cute little sister you are!"

I immediately objected, waving my hand in mock anger: "I'm not that little, like insisting on buying a doll or else I'll cry on the pavement."

In truth, the conversation wasn't just about the ship, the adventure, and the animals; it was more like an indirect attempt to ease the tense atmosphere. I watched the rain pouring onto the metal sheets above us, the water gathering in small puddles reflecting the dancing glow of the fire. It seemed as though the black sky was stretching beyond its dimensions, swallowing the horizon endlessly, and its stillness overhead for hours made me feel as if we were trapped in a place not belonging to reality. In the end, I felt this moment was suitable for making my gentle offer, so I turned to them, smiling: "Why don't we rest a bit and sleep while we wait? Then we can continue our adventure in the evening. That way, we gain safety, and also energy."

(3)

Even after I woke up, the storm hadn't completely passed, but the rain had calmed noticeably, and the winds were less frantic, meaning we could now walk without worrying about being swept away by another gust. I looked around; Four wasn't there, as if she hadn't slept at all. She must have left as soon as the weather calmed down a bit. It was hard to tell the time amidst the thick clouds, but fortunately, a ray of sunlight pierced the veil of the sky for a moment. A short shadow revealed that the sun hadn't passed its midpoint by much, meaning we had long hours ahead to explore the vicinity.

I tried to get up enthusiastically, but immediately realized how steeped in aches I was. I didn't think I could ever stand long on these worthless, trembling feet. So, a little extra lying down wouldn't hurt, until I could regain control over my joints. For some reason, this didn't sit well with my lazy companion, who was barely opening her eyes beside me. She mumbled in an exhausted tone, eyes closed: "I don't know where you get this energy right after waking up. You're really annoying…"

I laughed and pulled the cover off her mercilessly: "Come on, lazybones! The rain has subsided, we need to continue our journey!"

She answered grumpily, covering her eyes with her arm, trying to avoid the faint, intruding light: "But I haven't slept in two days. I was so excited about the trip I had no idea it started at dawn."

"That's funny. I don't even know how The Mother finally convinced you to leave the library."

She sighed, turning onto her side to ignore me, then said in a low voice: "She didn't convince me; she simply used her authority over me."

Even I had considered staying when I first heard about the journey. But the mere idea of an adventure spanning multiple planets, where I could write a story and have a genuine experience, was enough for my excitement to overcome my hesitation. From there, I started pressing Two, persuading her, pursuing her in the library, presenting arguments, and tempting her with the idea of exploring the unknown. But she met me with cold refusal every time, insisting the journey would be boring and tiring, and that she preferred gaining lessons from books rather than undergoing experiences herself.

She interrupted my thoughts with her quiet voice, scanning me with her tired eyes: "You were whimpering just now, weren't you? Did something harm you? Or a chill?"

"It's nothing important. My feet are kind of tired, and my right hand aches a little too."

She looked at me with a subtle smile that barely touched her impassive features, but I felt it. After her gaze lingered, she quietly turned her back, opened her bag, and rummaged inside for a bit as if looking for something specific. Then she pulled out a torn book, barely worthy of the name; its pages were worn out, and some were completely erased. But it was undoubtedly a treasure to her; she must have brought it with her from yesterday's adventure. She placed it on the ground in front of me and said in a gentle tone: "I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but I noticed the name of the hero of the uprising in it, so it might complete some part of the story. What do you say we read it together while your feet get better? And you forgive me?"

I looked at her suspiciously, certain she was trying to manipulate me, and gasped with exaggerated theatricality: "A trap! I expected this! I will never forgive you, never ever, absolutely not, not even for a bribe like this."

She shrugged nonchalantly, tilting her head slightly as she sighed with theatrical flair: "That's unfortunate. In that case, we'll continue our discussion about the lives of animals until Four returns!"

My eyes widened in horror, and the words tumbled out of my mouth before I could think: "I forgive you! I really forgive you!! Anything but talking about the life cycle of animals!"

She smiled, but this time it wasn't that usual, sarcastic, sideways smile. It was a wide, soft smile, as if she had finally allowed herself to feel for a moment. Then she laughed, a clear, genuine laugh I had never heard before. A laugh that rose until it drowned out the sound of the rain, filled the space around us. Then suddenly, it wavered, as if transforming into something more fragile, more pained, until her tears began to fall.

At first, I didn't understand; I couldn't even process the scene. I was still astonished to see Two in a state other than drowsy or enthusiastic. I had never thought she could move beyond those into a complex state like pain or regret.

She was crying for the first time, not loudly, but as if trying to stifle her sobs, as if everything inside her had suddenly collapsed without her being able to stop it. I cast a fleeting glance at the tattered book before us, then it vanished completely from my mind, as if it had never existed. I didn't think, didn't hesitate; I leaped towards her and hugged her tightly, without saying a word. I felt her cling to me, as if she needed that embrace more than anything else, as if she were trying to hold onto something to stop her from falling into a dark abyss. She continued to cry nonstop, while I just held her tightly, unwilling to let go, even though I still didn't understand everything going on inside her. Then amidst her cries, she began to repeat, whispering in a choked voice: "Believe me! I didn't mean for that to happen! I never imagined things would end up like this! I don't care about anyone but you! And I don't care about anything on this journey except staying by your side, finding stories with you! I would never have left without you! I don't even have the courage to do that! I'm afraid of a future without you in it! And my biggest nightmare was that you would one day stop visiting my library!"

I found no words to answer her, feeling a sharp pang of guilt for all the feelings I had harbored against her before. How had I forgotten all those days we spent together? How had I chosen to wound my own heart and drown it in pain, ignoring all that her presence beside me meant? How ungrateful I am, what a hateful star I am, undeserving of spending more days with her. But no, I would never leave her, I wouldn't let this rift grow between us. Even if she stabbed me in the back multiple times, I would ignore it, just as I know she would do the same if I ever wronged her.

Gradually, her breathing calmed, and her crying stopped. She finally released my shoulders but stayed close, her eyes red, her features tired and strained, marked by the tears that had streamed down her cheeks. She lifted her head slightly, and with a rare, warm smile that made me feel I deserved blame, she patted my head and began to play with my short, silver hair with her fingers. Then she said, her voice thick with tenderness: "I lied to Four. I just want to bring us back to our old days and leave this nightmare as soon as possible. I want to sit with you in the library, explain to you over and over why you shouldn't write novels without underlying ideas, read a dusty book with you just so we can learn a new word or two, then explain the lesson on elemental density that you didn't understand from the Sun for tomorrow's test. And finally, we sleep alone in the evening, while you write and I watch quietly from behind under the pretext of arranging books. Do you forgive me now?"

I lifted my head and looked directly at her, but I didn't answer her question immediately. Instead, I smiled slyly and said: "Not before we read that tattered book together. Then I will definitely and forever forgive you."

She paused for a moment, as if considering an appropriate response, then suddenly moved evasively, pulling herself back lightly, causing me to lose my balance and fall flat on my face. I let out an annoyed sigh, then turned my head towards her, only to find her long hair dangling above me as she smiled mischievously, looking down at me with a look of mock disdain, and said: "What a greedy star you are!"

Then, as if forgetting everything else, she adjusted her sitting position, picked up the book, and began flipping through its pages, while I remained lying on the ground, laughing quietly. Two was back to the way I knew her.

(4)

It's not just a headache that makes you sensitive to every sound around you. It's something that seeps deeper, like a constant tense feeling that never leaves you, as if your heart pumps adrenaline against your will, pushing you slowly towards madness. But it's not random madness; it's an evolved sensation, like sensing danger before it happens, only more harmful, more lethal. And when it intertwines with latent anger and a loss of control over one's nerves, it produces nothing but an unleashed beast in the eyes of some, and a legend in the eyes of others. This is what we're talking about here. This is what I will soon encounter.

"Air Squadron Shark-8-S! This is Top Sergeant, Lieutenant Brad. You will return to base immediately upon confirmation of target hits. Until then, you are not there to conduct any strikes. I repeat! You are not there to conduct any strikes outside your orders!"

His voice faded after that, while I sat beside him in complete silence, wondering when this madness will end. My thoughts were still scattering in every direction, but I didn't dare speak. Sitting before a man like Lieutenant Brad, rumored to be a cold, cruel beast, made conversation a risk whose consequences I cannot bear. The least that might happen to me later is being killed under his knees while he screams in my face. The irony was that, so far, he had shown me nothing but terrifying calm and wisdom, or perhaps it was just a mask hiding a brutality I hadn't yet seen. Minutes passed like this, then he gathered his papers from the table and walked out. I followed him.

"Are you sure you served in the army before?"

"Yes, Sir!"

"You have a strange record… It says you were one of the key elements in Operation Drown Earth."

"Yes, Sir! I was responsible, in a way, for smuggling the core of the nuclear bomb used, and safeguarding it. I worked with my group to achieve that goal."

"And sentenced to life imprisonment for military incitement against the government… Tell me, were you planning to detonate it in the White House or what?"

"No, Sir! I didn't know about it amidst those events until I was informed later."

He looked at me sarcastically – I was behind him – as if he'd suddenly lost interest. Then he returned to his usual silence until we reached the hill overlooking the enemy city. The sound of sirens tore through the sky, accompanied by the echo of screams, while warning shots were fired above us, demanding civilians move away from military installations to a safe distance of no less than half a mile. Suddenly, a voice cut through the radio—sharp, dry, carrying an air of readiness: "Shark-8-S to Sergeant Brad! Sir, radar has detected several enemy warplanes looming on the horizon. The crew is preparing for aerial combat. What are the orders? Over."

He grabbed the radio, and with clear tension beneath his steady voice, he replied: "Top Sergeant, Lieutenant Brad speaking. Your job requires only confirming the targets. The strike will be initiated at any moment. Avoid any engagement with enemy elements until you receive orders to withdraw. Over."

The sky rained fire, and the sound was like a force compelling you to cover your ears, but I couldn't. I was beside the Lieutenant, frozen amidst the inferno blazing before me. Tongues of fire surged up to touch the clouds, while daylight vanished completely, leaving behind red shadows, as if the sun had been replaced by the light of hell itself. The strikes didn't stop for minutes, and with each explosion, clouds of black smoke expanded anew on the horizon, swallowing everything. I couldn't imagine any survivors there, so why were the warning sirens even sounding? What was happening wasn't a battle; it was annihilation.

"Shark-8-S to Sergeant Brad. Confirmation received: all targets hit, either directly or within proximity, resulting in their complete destruction. Air force will commence turning and withdrawal maneuver now. Over."

So the show was over, or so I thought. In reality, I didn't even know why I had been brought here in the first place; this place seemed more like an exile for soldiers than a prison where I'd spend the rest of my life. No, it wasn't over yet. A sudden explosion erupted in the middle of the city, lighting the sky again with a brighter red, pushing the clouds of smoke towards us. It was followed by another explosion, larger, and fiercer, forcing everyone to hit the ground and pray.

I was surprised when I learned that Shark-8-S was participating in this campaign, and perhaps some would disagree with me on that. Anyone hearing the name for the first time might think it's just an aerial reconnaissance support unit, but the truth is entirely different: Shark-8-S is nothing less than the backbone of the US Air Force, a squadron composed of 112 F-35 fighters, used only for special operations deep within enemy territory, under the command of one of the most reckless and insane officers in the government: Sergeant Scott. That's how I knew the attack wasn't random, and this wasn't just a conventional military operation. What's happening here is a major secret operation, surpassing anything we've known from previous wars.

"Lieutenant Brad speaking. What happened there?! Please confirm. Over."

"Shark-8-S to Sergeant Brad. There were no elements in the area at the time of the explosion, but we can now confirm a massive crater, and possibly a tunnel network, beneath the site of Residential Complex Five, which was completely destroyed. Over."

A huge secret weapons cache, whose existence no one could have imagined in this specific location. I never expected the Chinese would reach this level of audacity, hiding lethal weapons beneath a residential complex packed with innocents. I was now unable to determine which was worse: the army launching a sudden genocidal operation, or an enemy using civilians as human shields to hide its arsenal? Suddenly, Lieutenant Brad stood up hastily and started running away, but he stopped to turn towards me with extreme surprise, saying in a sharp tone: "We are in the heart of the enemy empire! We won't be able to hide anymore, especially after this catastrophic attack. The area will be completely wiped out in minutes, and if you don't want to die here, you must leave immediately!"

"By planes or artillery?"

"You'll die by both!"

We re-entered the hidden camp beneath the hill, and chaos reigned. All the soldiers were ready to flee; it was clear they were accustomed to operations like this. I alone was completely out of context. I'm not really a soldier, and I still don't know why I was brought to this death party. Before the unit moved out, a sharp voice came from Sergeant Brad's receiver:

"Sergeant Scott from Operations Command Room to Sergeant Brad. An urgent operation has been approved in the Chinese city of Shanghai, following detection of a severe disturbance in the communications network due to our previous strike. Leaked information so far confirms the presence of a sensitive enemy command center and extremely dangerous lethal weapons. Within the next few minutes, the Air Force will begin bombing the entire city, and immediately afterward, you and your unit will enter to reconnoiter the target site. Squadrons Shark-3-S and Shark-8-S will provide air cover for you for only two hours. After that, we will withdraw the cover. Understood?"

"Understood!"

Let's pause here a moment, while I explain some things to you, dear readers: There are fundamental problems with this plan. The enemy now knows exactly where we are, and if the site is truly important, they will muster all the force they have to secure it against us. The other problem, and the more dangerous one in my view, is that Sergeant Brad's unit is fundamentally small, equipped for reconnaissance and infiltration, not for direct combat or storming cities. Sending them there is nothing but a suicide mission from corrupt command. But I understand it now! Yes, I finally understand why I am here: Perhaps God intended for me to be executed alongside my comrades, the protectors of the homeland – these soldiers who chose death on the battlefields seeking a peace that will never come – instead of dying alone in a dark, narrow cell. What a great end, and what a high station.