Chapter 3 The Hospital Wakes Up

Alicia POV

Consciousness gave way to the searing white. Once the blinding light receded, images coalesced into a sterile room. My eyes lowered to see my bulging frame under the crisp white sheets of a hospital bed. Instinctively, I raised the sheet to my chest to cover my bulging stomach, even though I was already clothed. The blandness was broken by a meticulous set of beads in a myriad of colors. Kayla’s face appeared to me, her expression wound tight, each feature wrought with worry. She looked so harried it stirred guilt inside of me. It was my fault—always was.

Her eyes flicked to me, then they swelled when she realized I was awake. Her cornrows were adorned with colorful beads but not as bright as the smile she wore as she looked at me.

“You’re awake!” she squealed, clasping her hands to her chest.

A burst of excitement that yielded to tears as she came over to fling herself at me. I let out a dramatic oomph, smiling until I heard her weep. Her sobs were raw, trembling against my chest as she fought to swallow them down, but they broke free, shuddering through her with every gasping breath. Her arms tightened around me, desperate, as if my existence was something fragile, something that might slip away if she dared to let go. I comforted her as best I could as I ran slow, soothing circles along her back as I soaked in her warmth.

“Al, do you remember what happened?” she asked gently.

Shame and hate burned through me like acid. I hated that she had seen me like that—broken, battered, barely holding on. But more than anything, I hated that I had been powerless to stop it.

Tears stung my own eyes, but I nodded unsteadily “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you had to see me like that, to find me like… that.” My voice cracked, and in the silence that followed, a hundred unsaid things failed to fill the void.

“You’re sorry?” she uttered like she was offended. “I almost lost you. The last time we spoke, you said, ‘they’ hurt you. The people that ambushed you—”

“Same ones who have been bullying me,” I said to conclude the confession. “Though there are so many, it’s hard to keep track. But I saw the regulars, right before all the shoving and kicking began.”

Kayla scrubbed at her tear-streaked face like it was her fault. “I’m so sorry, I just I feel like,” she stammered, words pelting to the abyss as she struggled she expressed a guilt she never deserved to bear.

“Hey, it’s okay,” I reassured her and her eyes sliced back at me.

“It’s not okay. None of this is okay, I feel like I should have done more or been there.”

“Kayla, it’s not like you can follow me wherever I go every single day. These people are wolves and there’s nothing you and I can do about it. I’m okay, so please just drop it.”

Our conversation was punctuated by the arrival of a man. A long and lean man, dressed in sleek, form-fitting black—not the usual uniform of a medical practitioner. His slender and agile frame flaunted the faint definition of muscle visible beneath the tight fabric. Short, inky-black curls framed his face, the tips catching the light with a natural sheen, as if iced with frosty tips.

This was Lucas? He was hot, like in an otherworldly kind of way.

“How is our pretty patient?” he asked, flashing a lustrous smile that didn’t have the effect on me I assumed it would have.

“She’s well enough to snap at me,” Kayla muttered like a scolded child.

The doctor feigned a shocked expression, exaggerating his gaping mouth.

“Doctor Lucas, I would never,” I said quickly, sending Kayla a pointed look. “Kayla just tends to overreact when she’s worried.”

“I had every right to be.” She tried to enlist reinforcement from the doctor with an imploring look. One met with a diplomatic raise of her hand.

“Firstly, I would like to declare myself Switzerland on the matter.” His eyes then settled on me gently. Secondly, I am not Doctor Lucas, my boss will be in shortly.”

“Oh,” I stammered. “I’m so sorry.”

“No worries,” he dismissed with a carefree smile, blinding us both with his pearly whites. “I am flattered that you think I have the sophisticated bearing to be mistaken for a doctor.”

Just then, the door opened and the air stilled. A presence that was impossible to ignore, commanded my gaze as an imposing figure entered the room. A tall light-haired man draped in an immaculate coat with golden hair that glinted under the sharp lights. A striking beauty that made everything else blur into the background. Even without his attention, his sheer presence alone held me hostage, an instinctive pull tugged at me, subtle yet profound as if pulsing in very beating of my heart.

“Ah,” Kayla said with a half-hearted cheer in her voice. “Alicia, let me formally introduce to you the real Dr Lucas, a psychiatrist. And also the man who saved your life.”

My eyes sprang to him and he offered a small smile that was like a touch of sunlight on my skin.

“Do not sell yourself so short,” he said, beaming brightly at Kayla. “You kept her alive and talking long enough for me to save her. The win is ours, which is why I think we could make a great pair.” Purposely delayed, he added, “As a team, of course.”

“If I ever consider switching majors, I’ll let you know,” she joked as they shared a smile.

“It is a day I hope for.” Lucas blinked like he just remembered something. He pivoted to gesture to the other man. “Forgive me, that smile of yours distracted me. This is my assistant, Adrian Lex, whom I refer to as my better half.”

Adrian flashed a smile, the corners of his mouth dipping into shallow dimples—charming at first glance, yet edged with a trace of something subtle I couldn’t name. Something sharp.

“Better looking, perhaps,” Adrian jeered. “Though I cannot even say that without choking on the lie.”

Adrian had unearthly beauty but Lucas was deific with heavenly features, far too supreme to even be measured by mortal standards.

Kayla looked away amusedly, her smile thinning when her eyes landed on me. “My best friend here seems to believe that she’s perfectly ‘okay’ after what happened. I don’t.” She said with a rough, almost unforgiving edge to her tone. Addressing Lucas but her eyes are fixated on me. “But what either of us believe is insignificant. I think only you can be the judge of that. Doctor, if you will?” she said, stepping aside to give him an unobstructed view of me.

Lucas carried this air of quiet dominance, a silent authority that didn’t need to be exerted—it simply was. His presence filled the space as if the room itself bent to accommodate him, and the weight of his stare pressed against me like a tangible force.

He hadn’t spoken a word to me yet, hadn’t touched me as he stood so distantly, yet his silence held more gravity than words ever could. And despite his stoicism, despite the careful detachment in his gaze, I felt this strange and strong pull, the raw magnetism that made my breath catch and my pulse stutter.

It felt dangerous, this attraction, so fast, so uninvited yet all-consuming, a flame that licked at the edges of reason. And yet I was helpless to tame it.

“So what do you think, doc? Do you think after her ambush and after everything, is she doing okay?”

“Kayla,” I chided as she continued to back away.

“She means well,” Lucas defended. “It was a difficult thing to find you the way she did. For us both,” he added, his tone even. “It is a rare privilege to have a friend who cares about you as much as she does.”

I nodded unsteadily. “Of course, I’d be nothing without her.”

I glanced back at Kayla and she conceded a small, sweet smile.

Lucas approached with measured steps, his presence calm yet authoritative. His gaze swept over me with a clinical precision that made me adjust the sheet nervously.

He reached for my wrist first, his fingers pressing lightly against my pulse point, counting the beats in silence. His gaze darted to the heart monitor, ensuring the rhythm matched his assessment. Blush crept in my cheeks as his hold lingered even after, fingers stroking my skin calmingly.

“Pulse is steady,” he murmured thoughtfully. His eyes fell on me again. “No signs of any acute distress. You’re recovering well physically.”

The lack of urgency in his voice gave no immediate cause for alarm. But I was wrong.

“I feel like there’s a ‘but’ in your voice,” Kayla commented.

There was a shift in his expression like a flicker of concern. “Your mental state is still worrisome. Kayla is right, you should not dismiss what happened. Physically, your body is strong, but the psychological impact is far more profound. The emotional and cognitive strain you have endured cannot be taken with the same disregard. Nor can the underlying distress that led to your actions be overlooked. We need to address both to ensure a full recovery.”

“What’s your suggestion, doc?”

“Privacy,” he said bluntly, glancing back at her from over his shoulder. “I need to conduct a comprehensive psychological assessment to evaluate her emotional state and implement whatever appropriate interventions to support her mental health.”

“Is that fancy doctor talk for—you need to leave?” she asked jokingly.

“I would never say it like that. As much as I appreciate your radiant company. Allow me to update you as soon as I am done.”

“Besides, I wanted to treat you to an appetizer whilst we waited,” Adrian offered. “I hear the vending machine is stocked with new snacks.”

Kayla snorted a laugh and nodded, walking towards him as Adrian opened the door for her. Kayla drifted outside and Adrian exchanged a meaningful look with Lucas. He closed the door behind himself, leaving me alone with Lucas.

He turned to face me and the weight of the moment pressed down on my chest. It was horrific enough that Kayla found me the way she did. But it was even more mortifying that Lucas did too and had to haul my megaton self with his hands and not a forklift.

“Hey,” I began, unsure of how to end. “I just wanted to say, thank you. For literally saving my life and having to deal with my weight. I’m sorry about that.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” he said firmly, almost reproachfully “Besides, you were never too heavy to handle, seeing that I outweigh you.”

My eyes nearly jumped out of their sockets. We clearly were not seeing the same person because he was anything but fat! Not even that long doctor’s coat could conceal the tall and lithe form beneath it. His face inclined slightly as I realized I had been staring a little too long. I looked away, trying to fix my gaze on anything else to distract myself.

“You do not have to be nervous,” he said, his lips shaping into something resembling a smile. “Especially when you’re with me.”

There was something in his voice that anchored me to his words. Something that was much more than comforting but it made me feel safe, seen, and unscathed. Like in his eyes, I was untarnished no matter how I felt about what I did and about myself.

"Shall we begin now? I need to ask you some questions to assess your psychological state."

“Yes, feel free to ask.”

“Have you been experiencing any intrusive thoughts? ”He asked, free of judgment.

I conceded a small nod. “Sometimes.”

“The dark kind?”

I nodded again.

“How has your sleep been? Do you find yourself waking frequently, or struggling to fall asleep at all?”

“I’ve been struggling lately,” I replied in short.

He nodded responsively as if every answer mattered deeply to him. “That also has a consequence on your anxiety levels.”

“Nothing new there,” I muttered. “My anxiety has always been really bad.”

“Has that led to any moments of dissociation? Feelings of being disconnected from yourself or the world around you?”

My brows collided at the accuracy. It was complex for me, an emotional labyrinth that not even I could make sense of but Lucas’s questions navigated it seamlessly. It was all very revealing but I felt safe enough to confess what my fears would not.

My silence prompted him to ask the next question.

“Tell me about your childhood.”

My eyes flicked up to meet his deep emerald eyes like a rain-soaked forest.

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything that is too difficult to talk about,” he said shrewdly. “Your struggles, your pain.”

His deep, measured tone had this grounding effect. He observed me closely—not just my words, but the subtle shifts in my expression, every idle movement of my stout fingers. He waited patiently. He never pressed too hard, allowing me the space to process before answering.

“Well… for all my life I’ve been this size,” I said, gesturing to myself harshly. “Bigger than everyone else. And because of that, I got bullied. Like a lot. Brutally.”

Lucas took a measured breath as if he too needed a moment to process. “Bullying can instill deep-seated feelings of inferiority, contributing to maladaptive coping mechanisms. When anxiety is mismanaged, it can manifest in many ways like disordered behaviors such as binge eating, as the mind seeks control or… relief.”

“I tried to manage it differently,” I said, far too meekly, regardless I continued, “But every attempt made it worse. So much worse.”

“It led you here,” he said remorsefully.

I looked away from him as I blinked back the tears.

His head slanted to capture my gaze again. “Are you okay to continue?”

I nodded brokenly.

“Your sexual relations,” he stated, far too casually may I add.

“How frequently do you have sexual intercourse?”

It was too late to catch my jaw because it had already dropped on my lap.

“Well—um,” I stammered like an idiot.

He simply watched me expectantly, not understanding my embarrassment. Memories tugged at my mind on another reason why I suffered the brunt of bullying. An unwanted virgin, endless words like ‘no one will ever love you, fatty,’ and ruthless rejection. As well as the devastating disgust from boys I had liked only deepened my sense of inferiority.

I shoved out the confession. “No.” I cleared my throat a few times. “No, I haven’t had any kind of sexual… interactions.”

I thought I would see a tinge of mock or ridicule, but he was completely unfazed. “You have never had a sexual partner?” he asked with the same casual indifference. “How have you fulfilled your sexual desires?”

My brows nearly reached my hairline.

“Do you masturbate?”