Return To The Light, My Darling

My name is setsuna Asuda, and I used to live in Tokyo, Japan. In case you did not know, I am a girl, 5'2, and 96 LBS. Sort of a lightweight I guess, but not by choice.

I am fourteen right now, but even before I was eight, my Mom would constantly pester me about watching my weight, even if I hadn't gained a single ounce.

In Japan, girls have a thing for getting thinner, even if they're already too thin to be a healthy weight. The skinnier you are, the more like a model you are.

As far as what I think, their is no way that I can eat an ounce of food a day and have practicaly no body fat and survive to age 25.

Anyway, that aside, my best friend is my younger sister, who looks almost exactly like me. She has the same dark jade hair and eyes. She is also one year younger than me.

I remember one time, when she was only six years old and I was sad because my pet cat had died.

She had been killed by the neighbor's dog. I had really loved and taken good care of my cat.

Her name was Ninya. All the money that my Mom would give me for running errands for her, I would save it to buy things for Ninya. For her first birthday, I went to the store and bought two salmon fillets. When I got back home, I seasoned them with salt and pepper. I even put catnip on it. I baked the salmon, then let it cool on the counter. When I decided that it was cool enough, about thirty minutes later, I put a small flag into one of the fillets.

I thought of using a candle, but I did not. A candle might burn her.

I called to my kitty, and she came to me, from under the sofa in the living room.

"Here you are kitty!", I said.

She purred softly as I stroked her fluffy neck. I sat the fish in front of her. But she did not eat.

I smiled, for I knew why.

"You want me to eat first?" 

Whenever I would feed her, she wouldn't even touch her food until I at least pretended to eat some of it.

It was her way of trying to fatten me up. She knew that I was too skinny.

"Alright then", I said, taking a little piece to eat. She made me eat several more pieces before she was satisfied, then she ate until there was nothing left.

Anyways, back to my little sister.

When Ninya died, I was very heartbroken. I did not eat, I did not sleep. I stayed in bed and cried my heart out. I prayed that God would come and bring Ninya back to life. Back to me.

I cried and waited, but God never came, nor did Ninya, or my Mom.

My Mom was too busy with cleaning and so many other things. I cried some more because she would not come. It seemed as if everyone had forgotten about me.

My Dad was away on a business trip. And my little sister... She was stuck at a friends house doing homework.

How the mind works, when someone is depressed. 

Somewhat, overreactive…

As for me, I felt that no one felt pity for me. Perhaps they believed that I was stupid for loving a cat so much? I began to feel guilty with my decision of ever even having a cat, and suffering so hard over such a trivial matter. Like crying at the end of a sad movie.

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 Chapter 6, Part Two 

It was 7:13 PM, and already the sky was dark and the sun was non-existent in the snowy atmosphere of the night.

The lights from the neighbors shined dimly through the curtains in Setsuna's bedroom, and the soft breeze of the outdoors blew as it pleased through her open window.

Setsuna lay curled under the covers in her cold bed, half asleep. Her mind wondering off into nothingness as she lay there.

She heard a soft knocking sound that jolted her awake.

Setsuna's bedroom door opened, and a small little head poked around it.

"Onee san?"

It was the soft voice of her little sister, Chihiro.

"Are you okay Missy?", Chihiro teased. "Why do you have the window open? Are you hot?"

She closed the window, then sat on the bed by her sister.

Setsuna's eyes were dull in color, like a dirty pond. They seemed to express her feeling of extreme depression.

"What happened to your eyes?" Chihiro asked. "Are you depressed about something?"

She stared expectantly at her obviously suffering sister in hopes of an answer.

After a long silence, Setsuna finally spoke. "If I tell you, you'll just laugh", she said.

Chihiro frowned and softly shook her head. She put her right hand on Setsuna's cheek, feeling its dull warmth.

Three minutes flew past in complete silence, and Chihiro finally broke it.

"I may only be six years old and seem too young to understand what troubles you, my dear sister. But just know, for every good or bad thing that happens to you, there will always be someone to relay the story too.

No gain is too little, and no loss is too great, for the world works in mysterious ways. If you lose something that was meant for you to have, then it will be replaced, although maybe not by the same thing. But never forget; Joy and love will always return to a joyous and loving heart, no matter how long it may take."

Setsuna could feel the life return to her soul as her little world lit up, bright and warm.

And out of the darkness.