It's Not Like That

I caught her eye in the hallway.

Miyako stood at the lockers as if she was going to leave earlier.

There's a shift in my hand, and I'm looking down.

But I couldn't take it anymore.

—Miyako, wait.

She stopped.

Reluctantly.

"We need to talk," I said, coming closer.

"About what?"

"About us."

Pause. It's too long.

—Ah... do we have something?" "It's cold."

I swallowed.

"You saw how she grabbed my arm." It was... unexpected.

"But you didn't push me away." He didn't say "don't touch it." He just stood there.

—I..." there were no words. "I didn't know what to do. It happened suddenly, and I was at a loss.

"You know," she interrupted, "you always knew what to say before. Even when I was silent, you understood everything. And now... it's like I'm bothering you.

— It's not like that!

"Then why did you let her be around all this time?" While I was gone?

Silence.

She looked away.

"You don't have to explain anything. Seriously.

If you're more comfortable with her, just say so. I'm not holding it.

— Miyako…

"It's okay, Kurume.

She walked around me, her steps were fast, almost running away.

I remained standing.

In an empty hallway.

With an empty feeling inside.

In the evening

I was looking at an empty dialog on my phone.

My fingers were shaking.

"I don't want to lose you."

I wrote it.

But I didn't send it.