Babymari

Lost my virginity at a very tender age
Fell in love at a young age
My dignity was trampled on 
My love taken for granted 
Till I found him…
The one who made me believe in love again
The one that proved that love is beautiful only with the right person.
My dream man…

My toxic man

It's always been like that,seizing of phone,getting HEAVILY grounded,and always given insults that can pierce the heart…..

Everything, like the whole thing always make me recall the past….

I know,am just 12,but God help me,I don't have the mind of a 12 years old….

I am rotten,spoilt and exposed no matter how much I hate to admit it…..

And it's just because of one thing,a BOND….a fucking bond,that i didn't have…..

Now,my only source of happiness,well maybe my siblings too,to an extent,would be seized…

I don't just know,but all I know is deep down in my home,the popular phrase "the truth would always save you" never saves nobody in my home…..

You say the truth you get beaten for it….. you don't say the truth,well you get double beaten….with the exception that you are not caught….or else you are good to go….

Now why should I not lie,knowing fully well I have a better chance at not being caught…if I LIE properly….

But either ways if you are still caught,you'd still be whipped for it….

Now I am phoneless,so what next huh??

Talking to bquis might keep me busy or entertained or even less bored,I don't know I just can't stay stucked inside with nothing to do for fucks sake!

But that's what my parents don't understand,we can't stay in!

You don't expect us to stay inside when you actually have nothing to keep us busy inside…worse of all a weekend,where we won't even go to school!....

I love my mum,I mean she loves me too apparently….but I don't think I love her way of loving me…I can't sit down to talk to her,she's overly strict,I think she's trying to protect us,but from who excatly…..

We don't have a television to help keep us busy inside,she doesn't like us going to other people's house,either does she like other people coming to ours….

You can't make friends,scratch that,you can't make MALE friends…even the female friends I have,she call them bad influence, she doesn't trust me,well us in a way… yea that's how bad it is,including my siblings….

I think the fear she put in me has actually made me more scared of her,to the extent that I rather keep things, than actually tell my own mother…..

She sees you with a male you are doomed!

I don't understand why her thinking mentality is like that!

CHAPTER 19