Chapter 5: To Continue or Not (First Part)

Part 1: The Veil of Black and White

Beneath the grand dome of the mosque, the powerful voice of a preacher echoed through the stillness of the night. Dim lights cast long shadows of the congregation sitting cross-legged, attentively listening to each word spoken. Among them was Romo, his gaze sharp, trying to grasp every hidden meaning behind the sermon.

That night's topic was amar ma'ruf nahi munkar—the call to uphold virtue and combat vice.

"This world, my dear brothers, is an eternal battlefield between truth and falsehood, between light and darkness!" the preacher proclaimed with fiery conviction. "There is no gray area, no middle ground. We must choose decisively: to be warriors of truth, or slaves to evil!"

His voice trembled with absolute certainty. His piercing gaze swept across the room, demanding a stance from every listener. He painted the world with broad strokes of black and white, leaving no space for any other shade. Verses from the Qur'an and Hadith flowed from his lips, accompanied by tales of the Prophet's companions and scholars of the past, told with a burning passion—as if history itself testified that life was nothing but a never-ending war.

"Look around us!" he cried, pointing toward the congregation. "Evil is everywhere. Sin runs rampant—adultery, gambling, corruption, greed... these are the many faces of the devil we must fight!"

He then recited a powerful verse:

"Let there be among you a group that calls to goodness, enjoins what is right, and forbids what is wrong; and it is they who will be successful."(QS. Ali 'Imran: 104)

Some nodded fervently. A few even whispered takbir. Ramadhan remained silent. These words were all too familiar. He had grown up in an Islamic boarding school, taught to distinguish clearly between what was halal and haram, heaven and hell. But tonight, something about the sermon felt too absolute—too simplistic for the world he knew.

The preacher continued, citing a Hadith:

"Whoever among you sees wrongdoing, let him change it with his hand. If he is unable, then with his tongue. If he is still unable, then with his heart—and that is the weakest form of faith."(HR. Muslim: 49)

His tone grew more intense. He then quoted Ihya' Ulumuddin by Imam Al-Ghazali:

"Indeed, amar ma'ruf nahi munkar is the pillar of this religion. If it is neglected, destruction will follow."(Ihya' Ulumuddin, Vol. 2, p. 245)

The preacher ended his sermon by referencing Ibn Kathir's commentary on the verse:

"You are the best nation ever brought forth for mankind—you enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong, and believe in Allah."(QS. Ali 'Imran: 110)

He elaborated:

"Muslims have a duty to spread goodness and prevent evil. But this must be done with knowledge and proper understanding—not with hatred or injustice."(Tafsir Ibn Kathir, Vol. 2, p. 90)

"We must become the soldiers of God on this earth!" he shouted, his fist clenched in the air. "We must fight every form of injustice, every act of immorality, until the world is cleansed of every dark stain!"

Romo exhaled quietly. He remembered the words of his father, a humble man who always emphasized the importance of critical thinking and being open to different perspectives. Is the world really that simple? he wondered. Is everything that differs from my belief a vice that must be destroyed?

Takbir resounded through the room, voices united in unwavering faith. Yet, amid the tide of conviction, Ramadhan felt something entirely different. Not strength, not the fire of spiritual struggle—but a quiet, growing doubt.

He realized that tonight had planted a question in his heart.A question he could no longer ignore.

Part 2: The Shift

The warm living room felt quieter than usual. The dim light cast a soft glow over the faces of two men sitting across from each other. Ramadhan looked at his father, Pak Hasan, who let out a deep sigh before finally breaking the silence.

"Rama, I want you to study philosophy in college."

Romo furrowed his brow. It was something he had never considered."Philosophy, Dad? But I've been studying religion at the pesantren all this time. I thought that was enough."

Pak Hasan looked at his son with eyes full of wisdom."Son, life isn't only about what you've already learned. This world is vast—far more than you can imagine. And I want you to see it with wider eyes."

Romo fell silent, trying to grasp his father's point."But… what's the use of philosophy, Dad? Isn't religious knowledge enough to guide me?"

Pak Hasan gave a faint smile, then turned his gaze toward the window, as if seeing something far beyond the night."You know, I used to think the same way. That life was as simple as black and white. Until I realized that reality isn't that simple. There's a whole lot of gray in between."

Romo began to sense something deeper behind his father's words."What do you mean, Dad?"

Pak Hasan looked back at him—this time with the eyes of a father wanting his son to be ready for the world."You're going to meet people with different perspectives, beliefs, and ways of thinking. Not everyone lives within the same boundaries you've known at the pesantren. Philosophy will teach you how to ask questions, how to understand—rather than just judge."

"But, Dad… I'm afraid I'll lose my way…" Romo's voice faltered.