Chapter 13: The Island of the Gods ( Sixth Part )

One by one, they went to sleep, leaving behind a quiet space that had just been filled with heavy, honest, and humane conversation. The final forum awaited the next morning.

That morning, the Ubud air felt as fresh as a blank page ready to be written on. Sunlight gently seeped through the bamboo curtains of Sophie's classroom, creating patterns of light on the warm wooden floor. The scent of incense slowly filled the room, mingling with the sound of birds and leaves greeting each other outside.

Marlon, Riri, Romo, and the other healing circle participants sat in a circle as they had in previous days. But today felt different. Perhaps because it was their last day together, or because something deeper was waiting to be born from their conversation.

The Pedande had arrived, sitting cross-legged in all-white attire and a traditional Balinese headdress. His gaze was serene, his breath seeming to follow the rhythm of nature.

Sophie opened the class with a gentle voice.

"Thank you for being here again this morning. Today, we will discuss what we have observed over the past few days—about how the seven deadly sins and seven heavenly virtues manifest in human interactions. And also, what that means for our lives."

Marlon opened his laptop, playing several video clips they had recorded: a trader manipulating prices, an arrogant tourist, a smiling local youth helping a lost foreigner, a bartender bribing the police to stay open past curfew.

Each video snippet was like a piece of a mirror—reflecting various human faces: greedy, proud, humble, loving, envious, patient, hopeful.

Riri commented, pointing to one of the clips, "This one is a clear example. A shop employee gives a big discount just because the customer is a foreigner. That's between pride and envy. He's proud to serve outsiders but also envious of their lifestyle."

Romo added, "But look at the next video. A local man donates to the temple even though his finances are tight. That's heartwarming generosity. But does it come from love… or from social pressure to appear pious?"

Sophie wrote on the whiteboard: Pride. Greed. Envy. Wrath. Lust. Gluttony. Sloth. Then next to it: Humility. Charity. Kindness. Patience. Chastity. Temperance. Diligence.

Everyone looked at the list. Their faces grew more serious. These weren't just concepts on paper, but things they had actually seen, experienced, and felt.

The Pedande then spoke in a calm but deep tone:

"In our teachings, humans are not seen only by their actions. But by the awareness they have when doing them. Anger can be sacred if born from love. Charity can become bad karma if done for praise. Therefore… it is not sin or merit that is the measure, but honesty and inner will."

A healing circle participant, a middle-aged woman named Lina, nodded slowly.

"I just realized… all this time I've been angry at myself for often feeling envious. But maybe it's not because I'm bad, but because I've suppressed my own desires for too long… I'm envious because I never learned to desire honestly."

Sophie smiled and responded,

"Envy, anger, fatigue… they are all part of us. But what's important is not to banish them, but to sit with them. To be aware. To befriend them."

Marlon stared at the whiteboard for a long time, then said,

"All this time we've been taught that this world is between sin and merit. Black and white. But the more we observe, the more we realize… all of this exists on a spectrum. Everyone contains both good and bad. And what determines things is not who is the most holy, but who is the most honest."

The Pedande looked at Marlon and replied gently:

"In the deepest silence, there is no sin and no merit. Only awareness and unawareness. Life is like the ocean. We cannot clean the water of its mud, but we can learn to swim."

Silence filled the room. No one dared to break it. Because no words could have been more fitting.

After a few seconds, Sophie spoke:

"I think… that's the most important thing from your research. Not the conclusions you will write, but the process of honesty and the courage to dive into reality. That is far more valuable than just numbers, graphs, or theoretical quotes."

Everyone nodded. There was no applause. No grand declarations. Just nods, and a silence that felt… healing.

The atmosphere in the room deepened further. There was a soothing tranquility, like a space that allowed every sound to become more meaningful. They all sat more relaxed, as if bound together by a silence full of meaning. The whiteboard filled with notes now served as a backdrop for an inner journey that went deeper.

Marlon took a long breath, seeming to ponder something he wanted to share. In front of the healing circle participants, with Sophie, Romo, Pedande, and the others around him, Marlon felt he needed to speak more deeply.

"I want to express something… about a mistake I made with Pak Komang," Marlon said slowly, his eyes looking far ahead, as if seeing memories that still lingered. "When I asked too directly about his past, I didn't think it through. I didn't realize that I was touching old wounds that he might not have been ready to face. Maybe I was too hasty, wanting to know, wanting to get answers… but I forgot that everyone has their own way of healing their wounds."

Sophie looked at Marlon with an empathetic gaze, and the Pedande nodded slowly, signaling that he understood.

"There are times when we really want to know more, but in our own way, aren't there? And we don't realize that it might hurt someone," added Romo, his voice full of understanding.

Marlon continued, "Yes, and that's one of the reasons why I felt the need to talk about my dream. I know it might sound strange, but after that I felt… like I saw myself."

Sophie frowned slightly but then nodded, listening attentively. Riri, who had been silent until then, now also turned her full attention to Marlon.

"I had a dream… a dream that felt very real. I arrived at a large temple. At the first gate, there was a very beautiful Balinese dance, depicting a colorful life. But as soon as I stepped inside, I saw many people praying, as if seeking peace from outside themselves. I wanted to join in the prayer, but something drew me to go further… into the third gate."

Marlon paused for a moment, looking into their eyes one by one. "There, I saw many Balinese people crying, embracing their relatives. It was… like an unspoken picture of feelings. And suddenly, there was an old man in traditional Balinese attire who said, 'You are our brother from Talaga Manggung, you must be more empathetic to your brothers in Bali. Be careful how you speak.'"

Everyone was silent for a moment. Sophie, who was used to various kinds of human inner stories, understood that Marlon was expressing something much deeper than just a dream.

"I felt… that temple was me," Marlon said in a soft voice, "The first gate was the self full of happiness and cheerfulness. The second gate depicted the search for peace, which we sometimes do in ways we don't realize—praying or hoping for something from outside ourselves. And the third gate, where people were crying, that was the part of me that was wounded, full of sadness that I couldn't express."

Sophie nodded, her eyes full of understanding. "Marlon, sometimes we don't realize that we are trying to fix things that we haven't accepted within ourselves. We seek peace outside, even though within ourselves, there is a part that hasn't healed."

Romo sighed, seeming to think deeply. "Like the Pedande said, everyone carries their own story. Sometimes we think we know, we want to know, but what we do actually hurts. Maybe that's what you felt, Marlon. You touched wounds that others might not have been ready to have touched."

Marlon nodded, a little burdened but also feeling a sense of clarity. "Yes, maybe that's what I did. I asked about Pak Komang's dark history without seeing that it was an unhealed wound. Just like in my dream… I only saw the picture, but I didn't realize that it was part of myself."

The Pedande, who had been listening attentively, spoke in a voice full of wisdom. "Everything outside is a reflection of what is inside us. When you ask about someone else's wounds, you are also seeing the wounds within yourself. This world, as you have learned, is full of gray. Nothing is truly black or white."

"And that's what makes it human," Sophie continued, "We can't run away from our dark or wounded parts. But we can learn to face them, to heal them. Like what you did with your dream, Marlon. You've begun to see that the self full of dance and prayer, and the tears, are parts of you that need to be accepted, not avoided."

Marlon fell silent, pondering. Everything he felt, everything he experienced in his dream, now felt increasingly clear. The temple was not just a physical place, but also a symbol of his own inner journey.

"So… I have to start accepting those parts of myself. Accepting that life is indeed full of conflict and imperfection," Marlon said finally, his voice lighter. "Maybe that's part of the healing process, right?"

Sophie smiled gently. "Yes, that is the beginning of true healing. When you accept yourself, you can see the world more openly. There's nothing wrong with having confusion or wounds, what's important is how we care for them and continue to learn."

The discussion continued for a while longer, with each person sharing their perspectives and experiences, bringing the conversation to how the seven deadly sins and seven heavenly virtues affected them in their daily lives. After some time, they felt it was enough to continue that reflection, and finally decided to take a short break.

However, one thing was clear: everyone in the room—including Marlon—felt a little lighter, a little more aware, that their inner journey would not be completed in one night. They were all now on a longer journey, learning to accept all the darkness and light within themselves.

The atmosphere inside the room returned to a calm, even as the conversation deepened. Marlon, who had seemed a bit pensive, now opened a new topic. He felt there was an unspoken connection between what he was learning about himself, history, and the feelings that arose within him. This time, he wanted to share more about the history of the Talaga Manggung kingdom that he had heard from his parents and ancestors.

"I once heard stories about the Talaga Manggung Kingdom, about what happened in the past. It is said that there was a patih named Palembang Gunung. He was the son-in-law of Sunan Talaga Manggung," Marlon began to speak in a calm voice, but his eyes hinted at a burden. "Palembang Gunung, he used conspiracy to kill Sunan Talaga Manggung, and that caused a great division within the kingdom."

Everyone in the healing circle, including Pedande, Riri, Sophie, and Romo, now listened more intently to Marlon. They knew that Marlon would not share this story without a profound reason.

"What happened after that was very tragic. Palembang Gunung had a dispute with his wife, Ratu Simbar Kencana. Their confrontation led to bloodshed, and in the end, the kingdom was destroyed. They called it 'ngahiang'—the disappearance of the kingdom, vanishing like mist. Buried in a history full of blood and betrayal."

There was a moment of silence after Marlon's story, as if everyone in the room was absorbing the tragic tale. Sophie, who was accustomed to deep discussions, felt that Marlon's story was not just about history, but also about something more personal and profound.

Marlon continued, "I feel... inwardly, I'm experiencing what I just described. It's like there's blood flowing within me, blood connected to the past. Maybe I wasn't there physically, but I feel that division and suffering—like what I asked Pak Komang some time ago. About the bloody events that happened in Bali... about the wounds that are not only left on the body, but also in the soul."

Romo looked at Marlon with an expression of understanding, like someone who comprehends the inner turmoil of a close friend. "Marlon, what you feel is part of a deep inner journey. You are not just learning about history, but you are beginning to understand that every wound, every division, every suffering—whether physical or spiritual—affects us more than we realize."

Sophie added, "Yes, we cannot simply see those events as past stories. Every event that happened in history, whether it was bloodshed or betrayal, affects us further than we know. There is something deeper connected to the collective energy of humanity."

The Pedande, who had been listening attentively, finally spoke. "Spiritually, what Marlon said is very profound. In our spiritual teachings, every event, whether in the past or present, leaves a mark—not just on the body, but also on the soul. Every drop of blood spilled, every suffering, it's like an energy that continues to flow, even if physically we were not there. And sometimes, we inherit those wounds unconsciously."

Everyone fell silent, contemplating the Pedande's words. Riri nodded slowly, then spoke in a low voice, "So, what happened in the past, can it affect us today, even if we didn't directly experience those events?"

The Pedande replied wisely, "That's right, Riri. The energy from those great events—both good and bad—continues to exist. We may not know how or why, but there are many ways that energy continues. It can be through family, through thoughts, through repressed feelings. Nothing is truly lost. Everything exists in a different form."

Romo then added, "Perhaps what Marlon is experiencing, in a spiritual form, is a calling to understand more deeply about the division and betrayal that exists in history. It's not just the history of Talaga Manggung, but also a reflection of how we face division in our own lives."

Marlon was silent but felt a little more relieved after hearing that explanation. He felt as if a new understanding had been revealed, something he hadn't realized before. That sometimes, we inherit burdens from the past—not just through stories, but also through the feelings and energy we feel.

"I think I understand now," Marlon said finally, "Sometimes we feel connected to something bigger, even without realizing it, and that affects how we see the world. This is more than just a study of history or religion, it's about understanding how those energies flow within us."

The Pedande nodded with wisdom, "We are all part of something bigger, Marlon. And sometimes, we have to learn to accept the reality that the wounds of the past exist within us. But also, we can learn to heal them in our own way—through understanding, empathy, and awareness."

Marlon felt lighter, as if a burden had been lifted. He didn't know if he would get definite answers about life, but he felt he was increasingly understanding that the journey to heal oneself and the world begins with understanding ourselves and our history.

The discussion continued, but this time with a calmer feeling, as if every word spoken brought enlightenment to everyone present. Marlon felt, in some way, he was beginning to find peace within himself.

The Pedande, who had been listening intently to the discussion from the beginning, finally stood up slowly. His calm and wise voice flowed into the room, guiding everyone present to reflect more deeply.

"You have reached a very important point in your search," the Pedande said in a voice full of tranquility. "Virtue and vice have indeed been within us since birth. We cannot ignore one, or only side with one, as if the world only has two sides. Both exist, and both interact, clinging to us, and shaping who we truly are."

Everyone was silent, listening intently to every word. Marlon, Riri, and Romo, as well as all the other participants, felt increasingly touched by the depth of the Pedande's words.

"Never be afraid to face the virtues and vices within us," the Pedande continued. "We cannot force ourselves to separate them. If we reject one, we only build a wall within our hearts. But if we can balance both, accept both, and set boundaries—that is where we find true peace."

The Pedande then looked at them all one by one, as if wanting to ensure this message reached the core of their hearts.

"Greed, for example. We know that greed can drive the economy. Without ambition, the world would stagnate, and people would not move forward. But remember that there is a limit, a point where greed becomes dangerous. It begins with the desire to achieve something more, but without limits, greed can destroy the economy itself, destroying the lives of many. Like fire, which initially provides warmth, but if not controlled, can burn everything."

Everyone felt this reflection was profound, and the atmosphere became filled with silence, as if the Pedande's words penetrated deep into their minds and hearts. Marlon looked out the window, trying to digest what he had just heard. They had learned so much, but the Pedande made him feel that this journey, although full of questions, was part of a greater search.

"So, we cannot simply pursue virtue or vice entirely," the Pedande continued. "We must learn to live in the midst of both, accept both, and maintain balance. If we can do that, we will find peace, and this world will find a way to become better."

The Pedande smiled wisely, then continued, "Life is not about choosing one, but how we live both with full awareness. That is what brings us true peace."

The atmosphere became silent, and everyone reflected on the words they had just heard. Marlon felt a new understanding growing within him. There was so much they had to learn, so many things they did not yet fully understand, but at that moment, he felt that their journey to understand this gray world had only just begun.