Chapter 14: When Silence Hurts Louder

It wasn't the first silence that broke me.

It was the third.

The fourth.

The hundredth.

The way he started replying slower.

The way his "good morning" texts turned into "sup" at 4 p.m.

The way his presence began to feel like a favor instead of a choice.

It was quiet.

So quiet I could hear myself unraveling.

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We didn't argue.

Not at first.

We just stopped trying.

And when two people stop trying—

That's when the real war begins.

Because silence isn't just the absence of noise.

It's a message.

A scream with the volume turned all the way down.

And his silence?

It said everything.

That I was no longer the storm he wanted to chase.

That I'd become the calm he didn't know how to sit in.

That I wasn't the thrill anymore—just the reminder of how much he hated himself when he got too close.

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I remember lying awake, phone on my chest, heart in my throat, rereading messages that used to mean something.

"Did you eat?"

"Stay safe."

"I miss your voice."

"I want to see you again."

They felt like lies now.

Like words he said just to get me addicted.

Like soft poison.

And I swallowed every drop.

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I thought I could handle it.

Thought I was strong enough to pretend it didn't sting every time he left me on read.

But there's only so many times you can tell yourself it's fine before the mirror starts to crack.

So I stopped texting first.

Stopped calling.

Stopped trying to be the one who always made the effort.

And when I stopped?

He didn't notice.

Or maybe he did—and chose to stay quiet anyway.

And somehow, that was louder than all our past arguments combined.

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You know what silence does?

It makes you fill in the blanks.

Write stories in your head.

Apologize for things you didn't do.

Beg in your thoughts.

Rehearse conversations that'll never happen.

It turns love into guesswork.

And I was tired of guessing.

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So I let the silence stay.

Let it eat away at what we were.

Let it erase him from my nights.

Let it teach me something I should've known from the start:

If someone can ignore your hurt,

They never really cared for your heart.

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