The Funeral

Reis checks her reflection in the mirror. The black suits is one size larger for her body, but she prefers that way. She feels protected, the suits act like a shell, shielding her from the glaring eyes. Plus, this is a funeral and there's no room for glamour.

The suit however, is not the thing that makes her bother.

It's her emotion that she locks inside. Deep.

Reis maybe looks fine and calm, but only God knows the turmoil inside her. Only her eyes can catch a glimpse of the storm that swirls in her heart and mind. No one notices that her hands are shaking after the news broke, she keeps them well intact; firm and absolute. Away from her brothers.

"Cé... " Gi stands at the entrance of the walk-in closet, wearing the similar black suits but fits his body perfectly. Reis stretches her lips, forcing a smile to appear on her face. She pretends to fix her hair, masking the nervous feeling from Gi.

"You can skip the funeral if you–"

"And make Por even more mad at me?" her voice is trembling.

Gi sighs, his brows twitching slightly. "Who cares about his opinion anyway? It's all about you, cé! Your emotions matter the most!"

Reis pauses and still. She shuts herself momentarily. The weight of overwhelming feels like a burden that suffocates her entirely.

"I know you don't want to attend this funeral. Logically speaking, who wants to attend a funeral of a man that destroyed their life anyway!" Gi says, facing Reis with his concern gaze.

Reis feels her lips are trembling, but she softly bites her lower lip, fighting back tears. All the emotions surge inside, leaving her confused about how she should react now– anger, sadness, relief or everything, all in once.

"Am I a bad person if I feel numb about this? I mean, lhoong Tony and us, we used to be closed. To think that he helped us a lot, filling the gap where por was lacked off... Is it too cruel if I feel better now?" Reis's inquiry makes Go scoffs.

"The more I think about his good deeds, the more I feel mad at him. After what happened to you, I never see that as a gesture out of courtesy anymore, cé! It's just a veil; a mask to hide his true intention! Don't ever feel sorry for him, too! He deserved nothing!" Gi crumbles his fist while his gaze turns darker.

"Miss Ratchana, the car is ready," Felix's sudden appearance cuts the conversation immediately. Reis wipes her worry away, locking eyes with the man– in black turtle neck and baggy black slacks– holding his tab as he checks it. After a moment, Felix steals a glance at Reis, causing them to lock gazes by an accident. A flicker moment causes a stir in Reis's heart, but when her memory flashes the dark night inside her memory, she brushes off the feeling from her.

That's when Felix realizes, Reis is unhappy.

"Let me check on Daou and Rames," Gi dismisses himself, creating a huge space for Reis and Felix to be alone.

"Are you ready, Miss Ratchana?" Felix asks Reis again. His voice is calm, steady, firm but gentle. He can see her pale face, but for him, it's normal when you get a knack of bad news at this very early morning.

"I... I'm not sure..." Instead of giving him a positive response, Reis's brain unconsciously talks aloud. She then grits her teeth when she realizes her mistake, squirms on her stance as Felix puts away his tab.

"Miss Ratchana, may I come closer?" Felix asks for permission. Reis takes her time to reply, giving him a slight nod as a green light. Felix carefully steps forward, facing the woman closer. They are almost at the same height– Felix is only a few centimeters taller– thus, their eyes match perfectly, and for a moment, Reis feels seen.

"How are you feeling right now?" Felix whispers to Reis politely.

"I don't know. I feel... Nothing?" Reis scoffs, covering her wind whirling emotions.

Hearing that, Felix extends his hand. "Whatever it is in your mind, the most important thing you need to know is, you're not alone. Everyone is here for you," says Felix. "Including me."

He stretches out his hand as a gesture of comfort and assurance. His soft voice gently knocks on the door to her heart, making Reis somehow feel warm and eventually gives in. She carefully reaches for his hand and puts her palm against his palm. Felix's fingers grasp tight, channelling a warmth that spreads through Reis's stormy and cold heart, as if his touch melts the icy stone inside.

Following his gaze, Reis makes her move out of the room. It might look simple– she just exits her closet– but this is an epitome of leaving her past behind, moving toward a new beginning, even if it's a shroud road full of grieving.

That's how Reis feels right now.

***

The receptionist guides the Ratchana siblings to the main entrance of the funeral center. They politely thank her before gathering around as no one wants to make any appearance yet.

"Where's por?" Daou asks. He stretches his long neck, looking for Tan as anxiety is etched on his face. He clamps both of his palms together.

"I guess he must be inside already. He left earlier than us," Rames replies calmly, striking a contrast between these two brothers in terms of personality.

"I think it's time to enter the hall," Gi checks to his Rolex. "And please look sad, at least..." he relays his soft warning to his little brothers; as both of them seem to lax a bit too much. Rames quickly looks down and pretends to be gloomy, while Daou is struggling to fix his subtitle face. In the end, he chose solace by grabbing Reis's hand instead.

"Share some aura with me..." he whines softly when Reis turns her head, demanding a justification for his erratic action.

As the black and white declaration welcomes them like a cold storm, they respectfully enter together, supporting each other's back. Once Reis's eyes land on Tony's picture, she suddenly halts. A shudder runs through her body and her legs freeze as the reality of the moment crashes down on her.

"Cé..." Gi softly pats her shoulder, trying to dig her out of the darkness that gobbles her.

"Cé... Are you okay?" This time, Rames tries his luck. His voice is full of worries. Finally, after a long silence, Reis nods, forcing herself to wear her brave face as she strides towards the casket–with her brothers by her side– and stops right in front of it.

An attendee of the funeral service hands her a white rose, which she doesn't hesitate to take. But, even before she can place it on the top of the altar, someone comes on her way and slaps her hand in anger.

"What's this bitch doing at Pa's funeral!" a young man– perhaps in his early 20s– yells furiously at Reis. His brows knitted together, his face twisted in rage. Seconds later, a girl– a high schooler– joins him. Her face is equally displeased.

"You're shameless, aren't you? The audacity to even show up here!" the girl takes over the anger from her brother, her voice is dripping with disdain.

"Prim! Seth! That's enough–"

"Don't stop us, Ma!" Prim glares at a woman– in her 40s. "She's the reason why Pa treats us coldly! She is the bitch that stole Pa from us!" her voice rising with each word, making Madam Sawati cry.

"Why are you here huh, P'Reis? Are you looking for Pa's fortune? You thought, maybe he left something for his sugar baby, don't you?!" Seth smirks, his words cutting deep.

"Be careful with your words, young man! We could sue you for defamation!" Rames interrupts, his tone is firm, he's not even yelling but the air can feel the tension.

"Ah, sue me then! I don't think I'm wrong. Matter fact, most of the people in this hall know about your sister's dirty secret with Pa! In fact, Pa spent his time with her more than his own wife! Being called a sugar baby is a polite version actually. I can use a harsh one; how about a mistress?"

Daou clenches his fist as he almost charges forward with anger boils inside. Gi manages to grab his broad shoulder before the little one can even move.

"Prim... Seth... Please don't make a scene. Show some respect, especially to your Ma..." Reis tries to calm them down with her trembling voice.

"Stop talking about respect when you have none, you fucking dirty bitch—" Prim grabs Reis's by her hair and yanks her head down, escalating the chaos even further. She attacks Reis while screaming in agony and it's all spiraling into madness, throwing Reis down to the floor. As Reis's brothers approach to help, they are busy dealing with Seth who put a barrier between them and Reis.

"Your place is here, on this filthy floor! How dare you talk about respect, huh?! You're the one who spread your legs for Pa and now you act as if you're a saint!"

Prim has gone mad, her fury consuming her. She slaps Reis repeatedly, before her leg goes up, almost stomping on Reis before someone drags her away. She screams loudly, as if possessed, only to get a hard slap across her cheek.

Everyone stunts in shock as Reis lifts her head slowly.

It's Felix. He's the one who slaps Prim.