A Friend

Like yesterday, she had no mercy hauling me towards their training ground. “Caleb!” She screamed as soon as she threw me to the spot further behind from the rest of the crowd.

The day had gone on me being battered and bruised. I didn’t have the guts to strike back and even if I could, my lack of knowledge hindered me to do so.

It was midday. I could feel the sun bathed me in heat and light. My body was in so much pain that I did not have the strength to get up. I stayed on the ground, lying on my back. Everyone had already left for lunch. Katarina didn’t go until she dropped a few insults on me.

Pathetic. Weak. It’s no wonder your wolf refused such a vessel.

I groaned at the pain on my chest. It felt like pins and needles prickling my heart. Anytime… any time… my heart will surely fail me. With all the stress right now, I could die anytime soon. That’s better, right? Who would miss me anyway?

I closed my eyes, picturing out my death and the absence of people who would cry for me. Oh, right. There are a few people. My two closest friends who I have gained since I enrolled in college. Clover and Gabrielle. At least there’s two.

“You need a hand?”

Fluttering my eyes open, a shadow loomed over me, covering the sunlight from hitting me. He reached for his hand. I grabbed it with hesitance. I didn’t hide the pain I was expressing, my face creased at every movement of my muscle.

“Sorry.” I looked at him with widened eyes, surprised, even more so when he looked guilty.

“Thank you.” I didn’t know how to respond to his apology so I just looked down, feeling awkward.

I suddenly see his hand reaching out and taking a twig and leaves that nestled in my hair. His eyes scan me from head to toe, his entire face scrunching at what he sees. “I really am sorry.”

I looked at myself and realized what he was apologizing for. “Oh… it’s okay. It’s part of training.”

Caleb frowns, surprised at my answer. “You’re pretty naive, aren’t you?” He shakes his head as if to drive away his lingering thoughts.

I tilt my head, studying him. I wanted to say something about him calling me naive but stopped, because I know it’s the truth. Even my friends commented the same thing.

“What’s your name?”

My face brightened, feeling so delighted at his simple question. It was the first time that someone asked me for my name. Even Rose didn’t ask me. She just told me her name but never asked mine. “Nasrin. But you can call me Rin.” I replied with too much enthusiasm. My excitement made him release a small smile. My smile widened at the view.

Caleb never smiled at me while sparring. His face was always apathetic and serious. But his smile right now changes everything. It brings me joy that Rose wasn’t the only one who was showing kindness.

“Umm… Is it okay if I ask you a favor?” I braved myself for the question I wanted to ask. When I got beaten down so many times, I decided I wanted to learn. It was so frustrating and I’ve never been so mad at myself for being so weak and timid. And maybe I could ask this guy. I felt hopeful just to see him smile.

He tilts his head to the side showing his curiosity. “What is it?”

“Could you… could you help me with training? I want to learn to defend myself.” I asked hesitantly. I know there’s a possibility that he would refuse me, given the fact that I was not someone to be trusted here. I was a nobody- no, actually I am somebody. There’s no doubt that they knew who I was.

"I don't think that's a good idea.”

"Oh… it’s okay.” My shoulders slumped dejectedly. At least he felt bad for refusing me. That’s something, right?

Caleb’s eyes travel up and down to my body, studying me. He rubs the back of his neck while showing a guilty smile. “Maybe I could help you a little.”

My face lights up instantly. “Really? I promise you I won’t harm anyone. I just don’t want to fall down over and over again. It’s quite frustrating.” A frown etched in my face at the memory of it.

He shows me a toothy smile, seemingly amused at my words. “I don’t think that’s how it works.” My eyebrow raised questioningly. “I will show you tomorrow. We will start at two. Is that okay with you?”

“Yes.” I nodded incessantly.

—

“You’re in a good mood.” Rose remarked the moment she saw me stepping in the kitchen. I showered and changed and put ointment in my bruises before coming down here.

“I found a friend. His name’s Caleb.” I said gleefully while waiting for her to give me tasks for the day. She and the others in the kitchen were preparing for lunch to be served. They were already done cooking when I arrived.

She nods before replying. “That young man doesn't have an ounce of badness in him. I’m happy that you found someone that could be your friend.” She suddenly turned to me as she stopped scooping the pasta to the bowl.

“You’ve settled yourself well here, haven't you?” A small smile emitted from her lips.

Do I look like it? I guess having found someone that doesn’t completely hate me made me quite happy but it doesn’t mean that I have come to accept what they've thrown at me.

My whole life I was always struggling, questioning my life with a lot of things, and sulking about it. I realized it won't take me anywhere and things will remain the same if I don't make a move and let it be. That's why I try to be as optimistic as I can be. Because if I don't, it's my heart that would suffer the most. Literally. It's hard because there are always people who'd intentionally bring you pain. And I always feel it no matter how much I try to ignore them.