Fourty Two

Almost every day, she found herself wondering...why couldn't he let go? Why had all these years passed, yet the memory refused to fade from his mind?

Not once had she confronted him or brought up the subject again. From the very moment she gave him a choice.... and he chose to obey her, to please her, to follow the path she laid out....she left the matter in silence.

Yet even after that, behind her back, Yibo had continued to search for the boy....from that day until today.

She hadn't forgotten the toll it took on him during those eight years. The emotional breakdowns, the heart palpitations, the distance he created between himself and everyone else in the family except his father. He barely ate, surviving only when forced, and that alone nearly broke her resolve.

She came close to undoing everything...to reversing the decision she had so firmly stood by. She nearly ordered the boy to be found and returned to her son, wherever in the world he might be.

But in the end, she steeled herself. She reminded herself of what would come if she gave in to Yibo's wishes. And among the consequences she feared most was the humiliation she might face in front of her peers.

Peers she knew were more like rivals than co-wives....people who would seize any opportunity to disgrace her. Many of them longed to see her shamed and brought low within the royal circle.

But worse than that...

...was the reaction she'd face from her husband, King Mo Yi. If he learned the full truth, everything she had built for Yibo....the future she had crafted....might collapse in an instant and never recover.

She continued watching her son's face as he approached, memories playing in her mind of how he had submitted, how he agreed to follow her decision. Still, she knew how much it had cost him to finally accept it.

She had tried to ease that pain with what she believed was the next best thing....arranging his marriage to Qiantang. It was the kind of union she had dreamed of: prestigious, respectable, and a public declaration that left their enemies seething with envy.

The wedding caused unrest even among her co-wives. They viewed the extravagance as excessive and blamed it all on His Majesty, claiming he had given Queen more than he ever gave their own daughters at their weddings.

But His Majesty simply smiled and let them talk. He didn't argue or defend his choices. He knew he had done what was necessary....and the rest, he understood, was all Zhaiye's doing.

What the other concubines never seemed to understand....and what Queen Zhaiye expertly used to her advantage....was how deeply she had mastered a subtle and strategic form of rivalry. Her cunning could drive others mad, yet she always maintained an air of innocence, as though she had no idea anything was happening.

She always found ways to make it appear as though she alone held the most important place in the King's life....even in situations where it wasn't true. Queen Zhaiye had never allowed anyone to see them as anything less than the perfect couple, no matter how serious their arguments. No matter the offense, she would appear calm and content in public, never letting outsiders see the cracks. Meanwhile, the other wives couldn't manage that level of composure. Even their children often overheard their disagreements.

Queen Zhaiye never allowed that. And that's why her position with the King remained far above the others, even though some had been with him longer.

At first, even Qiantang struggled in her marriage to Yibo. It took time for their relationship to settle into something resembling a real partnership. He had changed. His behavior, his mood.... everything was different. Eventually, they adjusted to each other. But even now, Qiantang never got the full version of him she had once imagined.

It often felt as though he wasn't truly present. As though he stayed with her out of duty, not choice. Like there was something...someone....else holding him back. Qiantang had tried everything she could, poured herself into the marriage, and accepted her role in his life. She stayed with him out of love, a love unmatched by anything she'd ever known in another man.

Yibo never denied her any of her marital rights. But there were things she craved....intimacy, emotional closeness, affection....the kind of love she had only seen in movies and read in romance novels. His warmth, his charm...they had become rare treasures, hard to find. Yet she endured, because of love.

When Qiantang finally broke down and brought the issue to Queen Zhaiye....that Yibo hadn't been physically intimate with her....Zhaiye called him in and asked him directly. And Yibo didn't lie. He told the truth.

He simply no longer felt desire. That naturally his di*k is no longer working apart from using it for urine.

Queen Zhaiye took him to top hospitals....both in China and abroad. The tests came back clear. Physically, everything was perfectly fine. But still, Yibo showed no interest, no reaction.

Zhaiye tried persuading him. She argued. She begged. Nothing worked. Eventually, both she and Qiantang had to accept it.

After four years, Queen Zhaiye raised the issue again....this time not for intimacy, but for the future. She wanted a grandchild, an heir. She brought it up with Yibo. He agreed to donate his sperm, and through IVF, they tried three times...and succeeded.

But recently, everything began to shift again.

Yibo had started dreaming about Zhan after so long. Over and over. And from that moment, everything else began to stabilize. Still, he said nothing to Qiantang or to the Queen.

He kept it to himself, silently hoping that he would find Zhan soon.

Last year, Xeilin had advised him:

"It's time we look beyond China. We've covered every city, every village...sent more than 50 private detectives over the years. It's time to search internationally."

And so they did. The search widened.

Because even after all this time...Yibo still hadn't let go.

At least in every state across the U.S., there were two detectives assigned to the case. Before returning to China now, Yibo told Xielin that it was time to start checking hospitals too....both in the cities and in the countryside....for any records related to male pregnancies or births. Maybe Zhan had changed his name to avoid being found.

The Queen let out a quiet sigh as Yibo approached her. He walked slowly until he was close enough to give her a side hug...one arm lightly resting around her shoulders. She patted his back gently, like soothing a troubled child, feeling a pang of sorrow at the lifeless expression he always seemed to carry now. The hug wasn't affectionate; it lacked any warmth. After a moment, he let go and greeted her formally, with the respectful tone befitting her royal status....not as a mother. That level of affection had long disappeared from how Yibo treated her.

She bit her lip and tried to endure his cold demeanor, knowing full well she had caused the distance between them. Still, after all these years, she couldn't get used to this newer, more distant version of her son. She returned his greeting with a kind smile and gentle words before leading him inside.

The grand dining table was covered with a lavish spread of gourmet dishes. The Queen personally served him from every plate, carefully placing each dish in front of him while he watched silently, saying nothing. After she was done, she poured herself a glass of concentrated fruit juice and sat down beside him, sipping slowly as she studied his face.

She hated this silence of his. It had become second nature to him, like it ran in his blood. Setting the glass down with a barely audible sigh, she finally asked,

"When are Qiantang and Su Han leaving?"

Yibo looked up, clearly surprised. He slowly removed his white eyeglasses, his temper flickering beneath the surface. Did Qiantang really leave without telling the Queen?

"I spoke to her while I was still away. They were supposed to leave yesterday. I couldn't return in time, so I made all the arrangements from there. She didn't tell you?"

The Queen gave a small smile, though she felt a flare of irritation over Qiantang's increasing rudeness. She didn't want Yibo to notice her annoyance...after all, Qiantang was her choice. She was the one who arranged the marriage and still couldn't understand why Yibo refused to legally register it. Ever since their ceremony in Tianjin Palace, he had rejected every attempt to make their marriage official in court. She'd asked him for a reason, repeatedly, but he never gave her an answer. He'd just frown and walk away.

"Maybe she didn't want to miss the flight," the Queen said lightly. "She probably didn't have time to say goodbye."

Yibo's mood soured even further. Even if Qiantang couldn't visit in person, she could have at least called. Without a word, he pulled out his phone from his suit jacket and began dialing her U.S. number. At that moment, the Queen said calmly, "It's nothing serious. I just wanted to send Bai Wuxia with them, because of how she's handling Su Han. Hopefully, all goes well on their trip."

Yibo didn't respond. He knew she was just trying to distract him.

Her number wouldn't connect. He kept trying, but the call wouldn't go through. Normally, if they had landed, the signal would show something. But there was no indication they'd even left the country. So he switched to her local number.

To his surprise, the call went through. He listened, puzzled. After a few seconds, Qiantang answered.

"My prince... you're back?"

"Where are you?" His tone was clipped, his voice edged with quiet anger.

"Home," she replied breezily.

"Which home?"

"My mom's place, of course."

Yibo closed his eyes and took a deep breath to control his irritation. "Where is Su Han?"

"Oh... she and Mama Muyu already left. I'll follow them the day after tomorrow. If I miss that flight, I'll go next week. By then they'll have settled everything, right?"

He felt like his chest might explode. Talking to her was pointless. He ended the call without another word.

He couldn't understand what kind of mother she thought she was. Even now, she still didn't act like one. She thought she's still Qiantang of the past, pampered daughter...spoiled, babied, indulged. She had no sense of responsibility, no real maternal instinct. Yibo remembered the ordeal they'd gone through for Su Han's birth. Qiantang had constantly cried, afraid she wouldn't be able to give birth. She heard that it would be painful and difficult...but he had never imagined her selfish, childish behavior would persist even after the child was born.

She didn't want to lift a finger. All she craved was love and attention...like she was acting out some tragic love story. Laila and Majnun reborn, only without the depth.

With his eyes shut, Yibo spoke quietly, lost in thought.

"I'll cancel everything I came here for. I'll follow them to Washington tomorrow."

But Queen, who had already overheard everything, interrupted calmly,

"Finish your work first… there's no problem. Get Rue a ticket so she can go after them. Once she arrives, I'll send Bai Wuxia to stay with her until they're discharged."

Yibo simply nodded, saying nothing. His bad mood had stolen any appetite he had left. Eating had already become a slow, reluctant act for him over time. Still, he forced himself to nibble on something, mostly for Queen's sake.

It was a call from Xielin that got him up. He signaled to Queen that he'd be back shortly and walked out, answering the phone.

By the time the call ended, he was already in his quarters....a space recently renovated with high-end modern touches. The structure and layout had been completely redesigned at great cost.

"Just wait for me. I'm stepping out now," Yibo said, ending the call. At the same time, he began undressing and headed to the bathroom.

He had come to care more about the search for Zhan and his business than anything else in life. They were the only things keeping him grounded, the only things helping ease the weight on his chest.

Thirty full minutes passed before he emerged wearing only a bathrobe. He sat on a chair near the bed, drying himself slowly. His eyes fell on a tiny frame resting on the edge of his bedside drawer. He stared at it in silence for a long moment before closing his eyes, his heartbeat accelerating as emotions surged.

Carefully, he reached for the frame and gazed at the image of Zhan.

All these years, not a single feeling for Zhan had faded. If anything, his emotions had grown stronger, evolving into something deeper. A part of his heart collapsed every time he remembered the last time he saw him. Even with all his effort to suppress it, he feared the day his heart would rebel.... the day it would stop listening to logic, the day it would cry out to his father for help just so he could find happiness, regardless of what Queen thought....or even what he himself had resolved.

All he wanted was to see Zhan.

But… was Zhan even alive, what about the pregnancy?

Every time he asked himself, it felt like his heart and mind might explode. Like his chest might rip open. Despite all his efforts....his connections, his search....he had found nothing. No leads. No clues. No light in the darkness.

Realizing he was spiraling again, he put the photo away and stood to dress. Still, the redness in his eyes had set in deep. That's why, when he finished getting ready, he put on dark sunglasses instead of the usual clear ones.

When Qiantang's call came in, he ignored it. He knew that if he answered, the conversation would only make things worse for both of them. Even just seeing her name sent a fresh wave of anger and frustration through him. Without hesitation, he added her number to his blacklist.

This wasn't the first time he'd done that.

Whenever she tried to push back into his life, he'd feel his respect for Queen being dragged through the mud. If it weren't for Queen's honor, he would've cut all remaining ties with Qiantang a long time ago. That was the only way he could breathe again. The only way to move forward.

Queen let out a long sigh after Yibo left the sitting room. She was still reeling from how much Qiantang had changed... how far she had fallen from the person she used to be. The excessive pampering had turned her into half a woman, unable to care for her daughter or her husband on her own. Everything she did required help from servants.

Sometimes it felt like Su Han wasn't even her child.

Qiantang never showed genuine concern for her daughter or her household until things reached a boiling point. She was nothing like Queen had hoped or imagined. The woman she trusted to marry Yibo had become a disappointment.

And recently, Qiantang said she was done having children because she was afraid of dying. Because she remembered the day Su Han was born vividly....two people had died in the delivery room, right in front of their eyes. Since then, Qiantang had refused to give birth again. At first, Queen thought it was just fear talking, like many women experience after childbirth. But even four years later, Qiantang still hadn't changed her mind.

Queen's biggest goal now was to have grandsons...through some concubines or another wife for Yibo...so that no matter what happened, her lineage would hold onto the royal legacy and title.

Queen had also noticed that Qiantang's mother never scolded her. The moment Qiantang showed the slightest hint of irritation or started crying, that was the end of it... no lecture, no discipline. If not for other factors Queen was weighing carefully, she would've pushed Yibo to remarry. But right now, her focus was on helping him return to the man he once was.

***

Later that evening, Yibo made a surprise visit to one of his largest companies in Tianjin. No one had been informed beforehand, so his sudden appearance sent everyone into a quiet panic. They all knew: one mistake today could cost them their job.

No one was unfamiliar with his temperament. From the moment you started working with him, you knew he had no patience for incompetence. He was quick-tempered, explosive, and had little tolerance for mistakes.

Xielin often found himself wondering how Prince Yibo had turned into the man he was now. But whenever he remembered the weight the prince carried, he could at least try to understand. He often had to explain to employees:

"This isn't who Prince Yibo used to be. Something changed him."

They listened....but that didn't mean much. To them, this was the only version of Prince Yibo they knew, and that's how they would continue to see him.

Yibo spent a long time at the company that day, checking through everything thoroughly. Many unlucky staff were dismissed on the spot for errors. Xielin tried to vouch for some of them, as he often did, and those he couldn't save were at least compensated with a payout big enough to start fresh elsewhere.

He and Xielin returned home late that night, still deep in discussion about various matters. But Yibo's mood hadn't improved. On top of his usual burdens, the situation with Qiantang gnawed at him. Still, he often acted indifferent in front of Queen....because he knew Qiantang was her choice, her decision for him.

Even when Qiantang messed up, he rarely lashed out or punished her. But that didn't mean he wasn't tired.

Zhanxianyibo💚❤️💛