MY ANXIETY RELATIONSHIP

Fuuto was hungry and suggested that we join him for dinner, as it was the weekend and we had no school.

So, we went to a restaurant that my aunt had taken us to when we were children. It was called Sukiya, and it was quite similar to Yoshinoya, but it often offered unique and delicious special dishes and menus. There are some days when Fuuto and I go out to eat, and the reason is that he enjoys cooking a lot. 

I even recall the first time he cooked a delicious steak with a flavorful taste in my mouth.

Consequently, Fuuto enjoys visiting restaurants after school to acquire knowledge about food, its flavors, and other culinary aspects.

The employee greeted us warmly, demonstrating their generosity.

As we settled in and began placing our orders, I was genuinely excited to dine here again. I believe the last time Fuuto and I ate here was when my aunt took us out for a meal during our middle school years. Even my younger sister, Ren, who had a distinctive ponytail at the time, is now a freshman in high school. Time indeed passes swiftly when one experiences enjoyable moments and positive circumstances.

Since my mother's passing, I have felt as though time has come to a standstill. Sitting alone in a coffin, surrounded by sadness and emptiness, felt like an eternity. However, everything changed when I met Fuuto, my aunt, and my little sister, who have all been by my side. I am particularly grateful to have met Ayu, as she has become an integral part of my life. I never imagined that someone as beautiful and remarkable could exist. 

In this world, I am fortunate to have each of these individuals in my life. Their smiles alone sustain me, and I find joy in their presence.

"Daisuke, it's been like since middle school. Your aunt took us here to eat," Fuuto exclaimed, scrolling down the menu on the pad.

"I know, right? Time flies," I replied.

"My father occasionally visits this establishment with his partner," Ayu added.

"Partner? Is your father a police officer?" Fuuto inquired.

"Yes, he is a detective police officer," Ayu confirmed.

"Wow, that's incredible! I never knew that about you," Fuuto said.

"Don't get too excited. My father can be quite cocky sometimes, and that's something I dislike about him," Ayu said, looking upset.

Fuuto sensed that Ayu was uncomfortable discussing his father and changed the subject. I wonder if Ayu and his father have a good relationship. Based on their appearance, it seems unlikely. I am curious about the underlying reasons for their strained relationship.

As we ordered, we waited for a few minutes before an employee brought our food. We eagerly began eating, particularly Fuuto's dish.

"Thank you for the meal. Let's enjoy it," Ayu said, preparing to eat. The food was exceptional, and we all savored each bite. We spent a pleasant time sitting, eating, and conversing. For a moment, I genuinely desired this experience, but as I was enjoying myself, I observed the same individual smiling at me from outside the restaurant. It was the same individual who had been stalking us at school. As I was about to stand up, a bus passed by, and unfortunately, He was not present when the bus passed by.

"Are you alright, Daisuke?" Ayu asked, expressing concern.

"I merely wanted to stretch," I replied to Ayu, as I sat back down, feeling a sense of unease. I was concerned that I had merely imagined the encounter.

"Are you sure?" Ayu asked.

In response, I assured her that I was fine, but Ayu noticed my unusual behavior after I ran outside the school.

"Daisuke, if there is anything bothering you, you know you can tell me or Fuuto. We are here for you," Ayu said, holding my hands gently.

"I-I am fine, Ayu. Seriously," I stammered.

Ayu did not believe me and had a serious expression, looking away. As we finished eating, it was getting quite late. However, Ayu stood up.

"It is getting late, guys. We should go home now. I do not want my parents to worry about me or your parents to worry about you," she said firmly.

"Yes, you are right. Let's go, Daisuke," Fuuto said, getting up to leave.

"Y-Yes," I reluctantly got up as well. We exited the entrance door, and as the employee thanked us for coming, we realized that it was now quite late. So, we decided to walk home.

On the way, Ayu seemed upset with me. She knew that I was lying and suspected that something was wrong with me. She could tell that I was not being honest with her, and I felt a pang of guilt. I did not want to lie to her; I wanted to be a reliable and supportive boyfriend.

"Well, then, we will see you next time," Fuuto said, diverting his attention and walking away.

"Goodnight, Fuuto," Ayu waved.

"Goodnight, guys," Fuuto replied.

This is where Ayu and I go to the train station for her safety. As we were walking, Ayu remained silent. I wished I could cheer her up better by telling her that I would take her home, make her feel appreciated, and then take her out to eat.

When we reached the train station, her train was not yet there. Ayu asked the front desk person when the next train would arrive. I overheard him saying that it would be in about five minutes.

We waited and sat down, but she remained one foot away from me, not close to me, and remained quiet. I felt embarrassed by my behavior.

"I would like to take you home safely, Ayu, if you don't mind taking you," I said, smiling at her.

"That is fine by me," she replied, maintaining her serious demeanor.

"O-Okay," I said, feeling a sense of sadness. I had hoped that this would not negatively impact our relationship. I was experiencing anxiety and overthinking a situation that I disliked. I also wanted to take her home safely because of the concerning behavior of a student at school. As a boyfriend, I felt responsible for ensuring her safety.

Five minutes had passed, and the train had not yet arrived. However, three minutes later, the train arrived. We stood up and walked to the train, where we sat down as the bus took us to the next stop. From there, we would walk to Ayu's home, which was approximately ten minutes away. On the way, Ayu remained quiet and serious. I attempted to converse with her about school, but she remained unresponsive.

As we approached Ayu's home, it was already nighttime. I was certain that my aunt would be upset when I arrived home late. I had even forgotten to send her a message informing her of my tardiness. However, once I completed my tasks, I had a question for Ayu.

"Hey Ayu, I want to ask you a question and I was wondering," I began.

"Yes, Daisuke, what is it?" Ayu replied, her mood changing to normal, even though her lips remained slightly open.

"Well, I was wondering if you would like to go out with me," I was interrupted by a man,

"Whos out there!?" A man was outside the door, entering out from Ayu's house. He was approaching me and Ayu.

"Dad is me, Ayu," she said.

"Is that you, Ayu? Is that Louis next?" Ayu's father exclaimed, trying to identify the person.

"Louis?…" I was perplexed, as I had never met this individual before. I glanced at Ayu, who appeared equally bewildered.

"Who is this young man?" Ayu's father inquired. However, upon seeing him in person, I noticed that he exuded a serious demeanor. I must admit that I was overthinking the situation, as I was just beginning to acquaint myself with Ayu's family. I intended to show respect to her father.

"Hello, sir. My name is Daisuke Ito. I attend the same school as your daughter. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." I extended my hand for a handshake, but he declined, leaving my hand hanging there. Subsequently, he turned his attention to Ayu and disregarded me.

"We are Louis. I have not seen that young man beside you," Ayu's father clarified.

"Dad, I have already informed you that I am not speaking to Louis. My interactions with him have been negative, and he is no longer my best friend. That is all," Ayu expressed her distress.

"Besides your disrespect towards my boyfriend, his willingness to let his hand hang out," Ayu continued, her voice filled with anger.

"Your boyfriend? Since when?" Ayu's father responded, his eyes fixed on me with a hateful expression. I was apprehensive about his father's reaction, as I did not want to encounter any hostility. I intended to demonstrate my respect and convey that I valued his concern. However, I was also aware that I had passed away, as his father continued to stare at me with hatred.

"Why would you care?" Ayu demanded, addressing her father directly.

"Why would you say that.I am your father, I must know that I care about you," he retorted.

"Your not at home, you are always at work, and you say that you care. Please stop acting like you care because you don't . You always care more about your job then us" Ayu pleaded.

Ayu's father's expression was filled with disappointment.

"I understand your feelings, Dad. I am upset with you for your serious demeanor. At least he makes me happy and understands me. His approach is far superior to Louis's."

Feeling frustrated, she abruptly returned home, avoiding contact with her father. However, upon entering her house, I felt an uncomfortable presence in her father's presence. The argument they had just concluded left him with a look of hatred, directed at me without uttering a word. In response, he abruptly went stray to the house and shut the door. As I walked towards my own home, approximately five feet away from Ayu's, I could hear her father shouting her name.

Upon arriving home, I noticed a light in the living room. I felt a sense of apprehension, as I always respect my aunt's rules and regulations, especially since she resides in her own house. However, as I entered the house, attempting to remain silent, the door made a noise as I slowly opened it. The house was dimly lit, except for the living room. I was removing my shoes when the lights suddenly turned on, revealing my aunt, Yuma, crossing her arms and looking upset.

"Hello, Aunt Yumi," I began, feeling increasingly nervous. I feared that she would be upset with me for arriving late.

"Kiddo, do you know what time it is?" she inquired, still crossing her arms and glaring at me.

"I am aware of the time, Aunt Yumi. I apologize for my tardiness. I understand that unexpected circumstances can arise, and I wanted to discuss this with you."

"It is alright, we can talk. However, I am disappointed that you did not inform me of your late arrival. Not only did you fail to text me, but you also ignored my calls and messages."

"I apologize, Aunt Yumi," I said, averting my gaze. Although I had not failed her, I had let her down this time. However, Aunt Yumi's eyes softened.

"Let us discuss this further at a later time, but please respond to me next time, Daisuke," she gestured at me with her finger.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied, feeling slightly better but also desiring to respect her and her rules.

"Very well, let us see what is afoot with you. Let us go to the kitchen," she said.

As I sat down next to her in the kitchen while she prepared green tea, I explained what had transpired today. I disclosed the mysterious individual wearing spectacles in school, my deception regarding him, and the fact that I had not informed Ayu about the individual Amid the ongoing stalking incident, and Ayu's father's hostile gaze when I took her home.

"Hmm, so that is why you were late home due to the events of today, Daisuke?" Aunt Yumi inquired.

"Yes, I simply needed time to process everything that occurred. I apologize once more, Aunt Yumi," I said, looking down and feeling as though I had failed her once more. I rubbed my eyes in stress.

"It is alright, kiddo," she reassured me. 

"That is simply how life is. However, as you mature, the challenges and difficulties of the world become more pronounced."

"I acknowledge that you have previously mentioned this to me," I acknowledged.

"I am merely preparing you for the future, Daisuke. But when you encounter Ayu in school, will you inform her about the boy stalking you both? She should be aware of the situation, you know."

"I am uncertain whether I should," I admitted. "Should he reappear, which I sincerely hope not, I will disclose the truth to her."

"However, why conceal it from her? It is detrimental to both of you, as you are not communicating and not trusting each other. Trust is paramount," Aunt Yumi emphasized.

She was right. I should inform Ayu of the truth. Perhaps she could identify the individual who knew him at some point; it is peculiar that he is acquainted with her, but I cannot be certain. I will send her a message immediately.

"You are correct, Aunt Yumi," I continued our conversation. "I should inform her immediately. Thank you. Goodnight, Auntie." As I ascended the stairs to my room.

Before ascending to my room, Aunt Yumi held my arm and addressed me directly.

"In the future, refrain from lying to her again, as your actions have undermined her trust. Do you trust her?" she inquired, still holding my arm and maintaining eye contact.

"I do, Aunt Yumi. I trust her, but I did not want to cause her concern about that individual."

"It is preferable to communicate even when it is challenging to confront the difficult truth, particularly when it involves individuals you do not wish to communicate with. Be courageous in your communication, regardless of the consequences. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Aunt Yumi."

When Aunt Yumi released my arm, she did not express anger; rather, she was preparing me for the challenges that lie ahead in my relationship and life. I am grateful for her counsel, and now I feel empowered to confront Ayu with the truth about the stalking incident. I also deeply regret lying to her and will refrain from doing so in the future. Ultimately, she smiled as she consumed her green tea.

Upon reaching my room, I began changing into comfortable sleepwear, opting for shorts. I proceeded to bed, feeling a sense of relief and letting go of my energy. I rested my head on the pillow and took a deep breath, gazing up at the wall of my room. Turning to my right side, I noticed the clock reading 10:50 pm, approaching 11:00 pm. I accessed my phone and discovered a message from Ayu. She informed me that she had sent the message a half-hour earlier if I had already arrived home. While typing a response, I also expressed my concern for her well-being. When I departed from her residence, I overheard her father calling out her name. I inquired about her safety, but she did not respond. I assume she has already gone to sleep. Tomorrow, I will contact her to ascertain her condition.

As I prepared for another day of school, I closed my eyes to relax and fell asleep.

As the first rays of sunlight illuminated one of my eyes, I instinctively opened it, only to shield it from the bright light.

"Oh, for the love of… Can't you just let me sleep?" I muttered, expressing my annoyance at the sunlight's intrusion, disrupting my peaceful slumber. I reluctantly opened one eye to check my phone, hoping to find a response from Ayu. However, there was no indication of her having received my message. It was 9:35 am, and she had mentioned waking up early. I was perplexed and decided to reach out to her via phone call.

The phone rang, and Ayu promptly answered.

"Hello, Ayu. Are you alright?"

"Yes, I am fine. However, I did not have a restful night's sleep due to my father's incessant interference in my life," she replied, her voice weary as she reluctantly rose from the bed.

"I apologize for disturbing you. I was concerned about your well-being," I said sincerely.

"It is alright, Daisuke. I appreciate your concern. However, I am relieved that you reached out to me. Your thoughtfulness is a testament to the depth of your love for me," she replied, her expression filled with gratitude.

I felt a surge of happiness and emotional fulfillment at her words.

"Daisuke, would you be amenable to not discussing this further this weekend? Instead, we can address it in school. I am hesitant to have my father gossip about our conversation while we are on a call, and I need some time to process the events of yesterday. I am stressed and need to calm down," she explained.

"Of course, I understand. I will see you at school then," I replied.

"Thank you, Daisuke. I love you, and I apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused," she said.

"Do not worry, I love you too," I reassured her as I hung up the phone. I was relieved to hear that she was doing well. I sincerely hope that nothing had transpired between us and her father. While I respect her family, I harbor a desire for a harmonious relationship between them. After all, in this situation, Ayu's happiness is paramount. She had even confided in herself last night that she valued her father's approval above all else.

Consequently, this is the only way it can be, as that is why I am her boyfriend. Regardless of the challenges I face, I must remain steadfast for her. I sincerely hope that nothing adverse occurs between me and her father.

Therefore, I texted Fuuto to express my desire to be heard. I intended to confide in my aunt, but she was already at work. My younger sister, Ren, had gone to the mall with her friends. I was left with Fuuto as my sole option. I sincerely hope he is not occupied.

I waited for a few moments before he responded to my message. I inquired if we could meet at the park. While I waited, I began cleaning the house and doing chores. Two hours later, he responded, confirming his availability to meet me at the park. I texted him back, requesting the time of our meeting. All arrangements were finalized.

As I walked towards the park, I held my chest and shivered, consumed by worry about Ayu. I was uncertain whether she would end our relationship. I kept my gaze fixed on the ground, expressing my anxiety. I was immobilized, holding my arms side to side and staring at the ground with wide eyes. Approximately five minutes elapsed before I reached the park, but I was hesitant to take a step forward.

"I should return home," I thought, "being there provides a sense of safety and prevents me from contemplating the situation." I slowly turned around to go home, also informing Fuuto of my decision. As I turned slowly, I felt a hand on my right shoulder. My head snapped up as I felt the hand on my shoulder and looked directly at the person placing it on my shoulder. It was Fuuto, with his usual cheerful expression.

"Come on, buddy," Fuuto said with a smile. I reciprocated his smile and we walked together towards the park.

As we settled onto the benches, I momentarily lapsed into silence, fidgeting with my fingers as I grappled with the overwhelming anxiety and overthinking that consumed me. However, Fuuto recognized the apprehensive expression on my face.

"So, what's on your mind, my friend? Talk to me," he prompted.

"I have a strong suspicion that Ayu may be considering breaking up with me," I confided. "Based on my observations of her behavior yesterday, it appeared to be characterized by negative energy and a lack of enthusiasm." I averted my gaze to the ground, still moving my fingers.

"Don't worry, everything will be alright," Fuuto reassured me.

"Huh?" I responded, taken aback by his optimism.

"I am certain of it, Daisuke. It's just the way things are for most people. Well, as for what I observed yesterday, it seemed normal to me." Fuuto's demeanor remained remarkably positive despite the situation.

"Well, you see, Fuuto,"

I explained the events of yesterday to him after we had separated. I also informed him that I had encountered the individual wearing glasses again when I exited the school. However, Futou inquired if I had mentioned this to Ayu. Regrettably, I admitted that I had not and had also fabricated an excuse for my behavior due to him.

"I should have informed her, Fuuto," I acknowledged.

"Did you attempt to do so?"

"I did, but she was preoccupied with the events of last night, which is why I am expressing my concerns about this situation."

As I covered myself with my knees, resting my head on them and covering my face with my arms, I felt overwhelmed by a sense of sadness, overthinking, and general unease.

"Just give her time, Daisuke. Believe that everything will be resolved. If she requires space, provide it, but not excessively. However, when you encounter her at school, be prepared to tell her the truth."

Turning to Fuuto, I felt a glimmer of reassurance at his words. It was better to calmly and honestly communicate with her when she was receptive to it. I rose to my feet, confident that everything would eventually work out.

"I am ready to confront Ayu about the truth," I declared.

"I am delighted that we spent time together, my friend!" I expressed with a gentle caress of his head.

"Come on, my friend! Please lighten up. We are no longer children," Fuuto responded with a playful chuckle, gently moving my hand and laughing.

The remainder of the day passed in a tranquil manner. Fuuto extended an invitation for us to dine at a restaurant prior to concluding our day. I eagerly accepted and enjoyed a delightful and relaxed experience.