Chapter 37

As Jay was rushed out of the house to be taken to the hospital, her mother remained standing next to the bathroom door, still with a ghastly expression, without realizing what was happening. Her father draped her with the towel and took her out, and until the car left the garage, she kept standing. And only after the car was gone did she realize what had happened. She fell to her knees on the wet floor and, while sitting by the door, kept looking into the water. Finally, tears fell from her eyes.

"Is it my fault?" she cried. Her voice echoed in the bathroom.

"She says she is suffering… he says he is suffering… Am I not suffering? Am I not rotting because of them?! Haven't I destroyed my future, my life, my body, my health my everything for them?! Still, they say they are suffering?"

"Am I to be blamed if they are suffering?! What should I do if they are suffering?!"

She was wailing hard in the empty house, and her voice was echoing back to her with even higher pitch. Finally, after a while, she stood up and went down the stairs, following the water trail. She was coming down with slow, deliberate, yet proud steps.

"What can I do if they are suffering… I don't care… I am suffering too… and to end my suffering, I only have one way out…" saying this to herself, she headed into the kitchen.

There she took out a knife from the set and tried to check the sharpness of its blade on her finger…

"It's too weak," as the blade failed to cut her finger in one strike. She picked up another.

"Poor…"

Then she picked up another. It looked pretty small yet had a shiny edge. As soon as she put it on her finger, without realizing, it was already bleeding.

A wicked smile came on her face, and she moved it to her wrist…

"Should I cut the wrist or my throat?" suddenly a question popped into her head.

She turned the other side of the knife and moved it to her throat…

"No, no… not the throat… I won't be able to breathe… it's so awkward… I think the wrist is better…"

She again put it on her wrist, closed her eyes… and as she was about to cut it, she opened her eyes…

"Should I cut close to the hand or away from the hand… where it can prove to be fatal?" she thought, while moving the knife up and down…

"Hmm… I think near the hand is better… okay… I will cut now…"

She closed her eyes and was about to cut it, but then again opened her eyes.

"When will they return? What if they don't come back for a week! Will I be lying here on this cold floor, all exposed?"

"No, no, no, no… I should go up to my room." And again a sinister smile came on her face.

She went up into her room and laid straight on the bed and was all ready to cut when she thought…

"Will they even be sad at my death?!"

Then answering herself, she said…

"I don't care… it's my suffering after all. I am the one who wants to get away from them…"

"Hmm…" she lay down again and was about to cut herself when another thought hit her…

"Yeah… I am doing it for myself…. shouldn't I look good? To let them know that I am dying happily… I am happy to die rather than live with them… Humph…"

Saying this, she got up and sat in front of the mirror.

It was already 20 minutes since Jay had been taken to the hospital.

She took out the darkest shade of lipstick she had and put it on. Then blush, mascara, eyeliner, foundation, base, and shades. She saw it and she put it this was her situation right now. She quickly did her makeup and got up and was about to lie down when another thought came to her mind…

"I am looking so beautiful, I should dress beautifully too," she said, looking at her half-drenched clothes.

She opened her wardrobe, took out a black velvet robe, and wore it. Opened her hair, looked at herself in the mirror, gave herself a wink and said,

"Well… now I am ready to die."

Then she lay on the bed and was about to commit the act when she realized that it's not fair to go to heaven without letting her grievances be known to the world.

"I should write a death note. A letter that tells all my sufferings to the world… what I have suffered all these years and how this father-daughter have been a bane to my existence. I only think good for them and they blame me for everything…"

She got up and started looking for a pen and paper. She found the pen, but she couldn't find the paper. She had diary pages, but she thought that the A3 page is too small to pen down her pain. So she was looking for a large paper from a copy or anything, at least A4.

But even after all the efforts, she couldn't find a paper. She sat down exhausted. Now it was 35 minutes since Jay had been taken to the hospital.

As she sat down, Jay came to her mind…"She must have a paper in her room!"

As she entered her room, she realized a strange smell in the room. Ignoring it, she started pulling out the drawers and everything to see if she could find a paper. There, she saw Jay and Venelope's bag.

"They embarrassed me in front of that wench, didn't they? Now I will embarrass them in front of her as well!"

She opened the bag to look for the page, but as she was looking, she found a small picture.

There was a quiet little girl that seemed like Venelope herself… kissing a beautiful young woman.