"Crisis, Chaos & a Collab With Aunt Pauline"
Zoe had one goal: film a chill, aesthetic morning routine for a skincare collab.
One soft light. One dewy face. One sponsored toner.
Simple.
What she did not plan for: Aunt Pauline bursting into the frame mid-shoot wearing a feather boa, smearing avocado on her face, and chanting, "I rebuke wrinkles in the name of radiant glory!"
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Zoe froze mid-roll.
"Pauline. What. Are. You. Doing."
Pauline adjusted her towel turban. "Enhancing your engagement, darling. This is real, raw skincare."
"WITH GUACAMOLE?!"
Sir Squawksalot added, "And unholy energy."
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The video was supposed to show Zoe patting on essence in golden sunlight.
Instead, it captured:
Pauline karate-chopping invisible stress while shouting "Anti-aging is a mindset!"
Sir Squawksalot trying to eat the toner bottle
Zoe sobbing into a jade roller
And because chaos loves company, Zoe accidentally uploaded it instead of the polished version.
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Fifteen minutes later, her phone exploded.
Comments poured in:
"This is the best thing I've seen all year."
"Aunt Pauline for president of skincare!"
"Is the bird okay?"
"Can we buy the avocado mask??"
Pauline stood smugly at the kitchen counter, sipping tea.
"You're welcome."
Zoe blinked. "I was trying to build a calm, aesthetic brand. Now I'm the face of facial slap therapy."
Pauline raised a perfectly avocadoed eyebrow. "Or maybe you've just found your true niche: skincare meets survival training."
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BerrySkin Naturals called.
Zoe answered nervously, expecting cancellation.
Instead, they said:
"We LOVE it. It's chaotic, it's fresh, it's unhinged in the best way. Your aunt is a star. Can she sign a release form?"
Pauline, overhearing, grabbed Zoe's phone. "I'm available for skinfluencing Tuesdays and Thursdays. I charge in tea bags and admiration."
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Thus, the "Glow Up with Zoe & Aunt P" series was born.
First episode: "How to exfoliate while chasing a parrot around the house."
Zoe's followers skyrocketed.
So did Pauline's ego.
Sir Squawksalot launched his own account: @BirdThatJudges.
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But with fame came unexpected chaos.
A major lifestyle magazine wanted to feature them… with a photoshoot at home.
Zoe panicked.
"Our house isn't magazine-chic. It's lived-in! It's messy! It's… uniquely scented."
Pauline nodded. "Exactly. We'll give them authentic lifestyle. You scrub the bathroom. I'll light all the scented candles we've ever owned."
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Three lavender explosions and one melted curtain later, the photoshoot began.
Sir Squawksalot refused to pose unless there were grapes involved.
Pauline changed outfits three times.
Zoe, meanwhile, sat in the bathtub with a face mask on, trying to look "influencer-serene" while praying the avocado smell wore off.
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The magazine loved it.
They titled the spread:
"Meet the Aunt-Niece Duo Redefining Realness (And Skincare)"
Zoe read the article aloud, her voice cracking:
"They said we're the perfect mix of Gen Z optimism and Gen X chaos."
Pauline clinked her wine glass. "Cheers to being the chaos."
Sir Squawksalot just posted: "I made these women famous. Where's my seed brand collab?"