Chapter 8 – My First Mission: D-Rank, Dirt, and Definitely Not a Cat

Today marks my first official mission as a shinobi trainee.

I was promised glory. Honor. The first step on the path to becoming something great.

Instead?

I am currently chasing what appears to be a scroll-carrying weasel through the back alleys of Konoha, while one teammate is arguing with a trash can and the other is stuck in a wall.

"This is fine," I mutter. "This is the exact definition of a noble path."

Flashback to one hour earlier.

Mission assignment scroll reads: Retrieve escaped pet from merchant. Harmless. Fat. Wears a red collar. Name: Sir Meep.

I had questions.

"Why is it wearing a scroll harness?"

"Why does the merchant have shinobi-grade pet tags?"

"Why is Jiraiya already gone?"

Now I know the answer: Because no one in this village respects warning labels.

My teammates:

Takkun: currently trying to bait the weasel using leftover takoyaki and a string of firecrackers.

Damu: wearing a trash bag like a cloak and attempting to speak Parseltongue to a squirrel.

Me: the only one not actively sabotaging the mission—and somehow still the most exhausted.

Our squad leader is none other than Genma Shiranui, king of senbon chewing and silent judgment. He is standing ten meters away, arms crossed, watching us spiral into chaos with the zen focus of a man observing a very stupid nature documentary.

We finally corner Sir Meep near a storage compound. The creature—a feral, twitchy, chakra-tagged weasel—growls at us.

"I can take it," Takkun yells. "I've trained for this."

"You chased a duck for three hours and fell into the river," I remind him.

He charges. Sir Meep vanishes between his legs and backflips onto a crate. It hisses. Smoke bomb. Gone.

Genma doesn't even blink. "Should I intervene?"

"Yes!" I shout. "You're the adult!"

"Nope," he says.

Cool cool cool.

I close my eyes and breathe.

Not chakra sense in the traditional sense.

I push pressure out—soft pings. Environmental feedback.

There.

A pulse by the barrel stack.

I leap, low and wide, just as Sir Meep darts left. My hand brushes the scroll seal strapped to its back. I press chakra into the tag.

Fshhht. Neutralized.

Sir Meep freezes. Collapses into my arms like it just rage-quit life.

Mission: Complete.

Takkun crashes into a barrel. Damu applauds the moon.

Genma saunters over, plucks the weasel from me, and gives a single nod.

"Acceptable."

That's the most praise I'll get today.

Back at HQ, Genma hands in the scroll.

"Pet retrieved. No injuries. Psychological damage: undetermined. One trash can dented."

Takkun: "I'm the trash can."

Damu: "That weasel had opinions."

I lean against a railing and watch the village below.

"So this is the shinobi life?"

Genma walks over, hands in pockets.

"That was your easy mission."

"Oh good."

"You've got nine more this month."

He flicks the senbon in his mouth once.

"Hiruzen's watching. He doesn't bet on kids often."

I pause.

"What happens if I mess up?"

"Nothing."

He starts to walk away.

"You just disappear from the list."

I look at the sky.

Void chakra is one thing.

Navigating this village's version of 'childcare' is another.

Note to self: survive Sir Meep. Survive the Hokage.

Everything else? We'll see.

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Every bit of support keeps the Void walking forward.

— void_chakra