SNIFF-SNIFF

Arbor and Malvor laughed in perfect sync. Which somehow made it even worse.

Annie groaned, wriggling to escape, but Malvor only tightened his hold, nuzzling closer like a smug, contented cat.

"Annie, sweet peach, don't fight it. We clearly belong like this."

"The hell we do—"

Before she could finish, Malvor tilted his head, pressing a lazy, sleepy kiss against her shoulder.

Then another. Then one dangerously close to her neck.

Oh nope. Nope. Absolutely not.

She did the only reasonable thing—She rolled.

Right off the bed.

THUMP.

"Oh gods, Annie—" Malvor cackled, peering over the edge of the bed at her sprawled-out form. "Dramatic much?"

Annie, dignity gone, scrambled up and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

A long pause. Then—

"You are truly spectacular at playing hard to get, muffin!"

Annie turned on the sink full blast just to drown him out.

Arbor flickered its lights smugly.

"Arbor, you traitor! I would shower, but you'd probably let him in."

The lights flickered in a way that absolutely meant yes.

And right on cue—The bathroom door creaked open.

Annie whirled around, eyes wide.

There he was. Leaning against the frame. Shirtless. Grinning. Looking entirely too pleased with himself.

"Morning, my lovely Annie Biscuit. Thought I'd join you."

"Hey! I have to use the toilet!" she blurted, grasping for the only excuse she had.

Arbor, not buying it for a second, flickered once in amused disbelief.

But—mercifully—The door shut in Malvor's face.

"Arbor, I see how it is! You shut the door for her, but last time I asked for privacy—"

Shower: ON. Full blast. Malvor: Drowned out.

Arbor flickered in pure mischief.

She really did use the bathroom first—just to prove a point.

Then, as she turned to the shower, she jabbed a finger toward the ceiling.

"Arbor. Listen to me and listen well. If you open this door while I'm showering, so help me, I will call upon every old god, new god, forgotten god, and petty minor deity to curse your very foundation."

The lights flickered once. A house's version of, Who, me?

"I mean it!" she growled.

A dramatic pause. The door stayed shut.

"Damn right," she muttered, stepping into the steam.

She grabbed her favorite new body wash—Fruity. Floral. Sweet. A smell that made her feel… lovely.

She liked it. Unfortunately, she had a sneaking suspicion that Malvor was going to like it, too.

Dressed. Hair brushed. Teeth sparkling. Annie stepped out of the bathroom and—yep.

She knew.

There he was. Malvor. The walking disaster. Sniffing her.

"Annie, that smell is very you," he purred.

Before she could dodge, he was pressing slow, purposeful kisses along her neck, working toward her cheek—Then obviously going for her mouth.

She lifted a hand. Flat-palmed. Right to his lips.

Denied.

"Brush your teeth."

Malvor blinked, affronted.

"Annie. I am a god. I don't have to brush my teeth."

"I don't have morning breath or cavities!" he added, flashing a dazzling grin full of divinely perfect teeth.

She narrowed her eyes. Then grabbed his face.

And in the most awkward, deeply unromantic, horrifyingly aggressive way possible—

She sniffed his mouth.

Nose to lips. Right up in there.

Malvor froze. Eyes wide. Complete horror.

"ANNIE! What in the flaming hells—?!"

She stepped back, cool and neutral.

"Huh. No morning breath."

Malvor gaped. Scandalized. Hands flailing.

"I cannot believe you just did that!"

She crossed her arms.

"And yet, here we are."

Arbor flickered its lights in silent hysterics.

Malvor clutched his chest like she'd run him through.

"I am too offended to kiss you now, Annie!"

"That was rude and disgusting! A complete violation of my person!"

She tilted her head.

"Oh? But sniffing me like a starving beast is fine?"

He gasped. Audibly.

"That was different! That was appreciation! This—this was a crime!"

Annie turned and walked away.

"Where are you going?" Malvor called, still dramatically injured.

"To get coffee, you insufferable drama queen."

"Oh no, no, no! You don't get to just walk away after traumatizing me, Annie Cinnamon Bun! You owe me!"

"I owe you nothing."

"Lies! Slander! Betrayal!"

Annie ignored the huffing as she made her coffee, completely unbothered while Malvor hovered behind her like a giant, chaotic housecat.

Espresso shots. Extra cinnamon. The scent of warm cinnamon coffee cake filled the air.

Malvor sniffed the air, visibly perking up.

She handed him a mug.

One sip later—

"Mmmf."

An obscene noise of pleasure left him. He sighed.

"Fine, Annie Streusel. Your coffee might get you halfway to forgiveness."

She sipped her own, deadpan.

"Halfway? After I had to endure your sulking? You're insufferable."

"And yet, you made me coffee."

He wiggled his brows.

"What does that say about you?"

She hip-checked him.

"That I have poor judgment."

"And that you love me."

"I hate you."

"Oh, Annie Hot Lips, you say the sweetest things."

Arbor flickered the lights. "This is your life now. Enjoy."

"You are insufferable."

Annie turned to the stove. Cracked an egg. Didn't even look at him.

"Breakfast?"

Malvor flopped into a chair.

"Fine. But between coffee and breakfast, you are only 90% forgiven for that complete and utter disrespect of me."

Annie didn't pause.

"90%? What else do I have to do?"

He propped his chin in his palm.

"Beg for my forgiveness? Declare me the most handsome, most powerful, most irresistible being you've ever laid eyes on?"

She cracked another egg—too hard. A bit of shell dropped into the bowl.

She stared at it. Then glared at him.

"I'd rather eat this shell."

"Ah! So you admit it—you'd rather suffer than acknowledge my divine magnificence!"

Whisk: Activated.

"Maybe I should have let you starve."

Malvor just grinned wider, sipping his coffee like a smug gremlin.

Arbor flickered the lights again. Fully entertained. As always.