eye contact

The weather at school wasn't great — but to me, it was lovely.

The sky was dark, heavy, like it was about to rain any second.

The kind of weather that made everything feel slower... softer... closer.

In the silence of the classroom, I heard Hameto whisper,

"Hey, Ren. Ren! The teacher's staring at you. Get up!"

Ren, who had been sleeping with his head on the desk, barely stirred — until a piece of chalk, thrown by the teacher, flew toward him.

It looked like it was going to hit him hard, but Ren caught it in midair, quick and smooth.

"How can you sleep in my class?!" the teacher snapped. "Get out!"

Ren stood up lazily, brushing his hair out of his eyes, and walked to the door — right next to where I sat.

I was in the last corner seat, by the window.

Just one seat behind him.

Close enough to hear the faint rustle of his clothes... close enough to see the way the rain made shadows dance across his face.

I always admired him from there.

Ren Kamizawa — the boy who created messes wherever he went, who couldn't control his anger, who dated whoever he wanted without caring what anyone thought.

Right now, he was dating a senior girl. I knew that. Everyone did.

I was thinking about that when suddenly — our eyes met.

It only lasted a second, but it made my face burn with heat.

Even so... I knew Ren probably didn't even realize I existed.

I was just part of the background — just another student filling up space.

No one wanted to be my friend.

I was the transfer student no one cared to know.

It had been two years, but still, it felt like I was invisible.

The only reason I still came to school...

Maybe the only reason I could endure it...

was Ren.

The bell rang, cutting through the heavy, humid air.

Students packed their things, laughter and chatter filling the classroom, but none of it touched me.

I stayed seated, hands pressed flat against my desk, waiting for the crowd to thin.

Ren didn't rush.

He stayed by the door, watching, maybe bored, maybe thinking about something else entirely.

The sky outside had turned almost black.

Then — as if the world itself couldn't hold it back anymore —

the rain broke loose.

Heavy, hard rain pounded against the windows.

In seconds, the schoolyard disappeared behind sheets of water.

I flinched when someone bumped into me in the rush to leave, my bag slipping off my desk.

I bent down to grab it — but so did someone else.

A hand brushed against mine.

Warm. Solid. Real.

I looked up — and there he was.

Ren Kamizawa.

Neither of us said anything.

The rain thundered around us, loud enough to swallow up any sound.

His fingers lingered on the strap of my bag for half a second too long —

then he let go, straightened up, and left without a word.

I stayed there, heart pounding against my ribs like it was trying to escape.

Maybe it was nothing.

Maybe he hadn't even noticed.

But to me —

it was everything.

The rain didn't stop.

If anything, it only grew heavier, turning the world outside into a blur of grey and silver.

I stood by the window, holding my bag against my chest, and watched Ren's figure disappear into the rain.

No umbrella. No hesitation.

Just him — walking straight into the storm like it didn't matter if he got drenched, like nothing in this world could ever touch him.

I pressed my forehead lightly against the cold glass.

My heart ached, quietly, painfully.

He was like a storm.

Wild.

Untouchable.

Beautiful in a way that made breathing hurt.

And even though I knew —

even though I knew he would probably never see me the way I saw him —

I still wanted to be near him.

Even if it meant standing in the rain until my skin froze.

Even if it meant getting hurt.

Even if it meant being invisible forever.

I wanted to be lost in him.

Not noticed.

Not saved.

Just... close.

Even if he never turned around.

The rain fell harder, soaking through my clothes as I ran after him.

I didn't know why — I just didn't want to lose sight of him.

Ren didn't look back once.

He moved like he was part of the storm itself — fearless, fast, untouchable.

He finally stopped in front of a small café, shaking the rain from his hair before pushing open the door.

Without even glancing around, he disappeared inside.

I hesitated, standing outside.

The café's big glass windows showed everything clearly — and anyone inside could easily see me, standing there like a fool.

But I couldn't move.

Through the window, I watched as Ren pulled off his wet jacket, shaking it out before changing into a café uniform —

he worked here.

Then —

a girl approached him.

Close. Too close.

She said something, laughing, her hand brushing against his arm.

I recognized her immediately —

a senior from our school.

Everyone knew they were close.

Maybe even dating.

I felt my chest tighten painfully.

It wasn't jealousy exactly —

it was something heavier, something that made it hard to breathe.

Their fingers brushed — they didn't kiss, but they didn't need to.

The way they smiled at each other was enough.

I wanted to look away.

I should have.

But I didn't.

I couldn't.

Then —

Ren noticed me.

His eyes flicked toward the window, and for a second, our gazes locked.

My heart stopped.

I panicked, ready to run, but before I could move —

The café door swung open.

Ren stepped out into the rain, striding toward me without hesitation.

He reached for my wrist —

his hand was warm, strong —

and pulled me inside.

"What are you doing out there?" he said, frowning.

"It's dangerous in this weather. Are you crazy?"

The closeness made my heart want to explode.

His scent, the heat of his body, the way his hand still gripped my wrist —

it was too much.

We weren't supposed to be this close.

He tugged me toward an empty table and made me sit down without giving me a chance to say anything.

Then, just like that, he let go.

It was the first time we had ever really spoken.

Not much was said.

Not much needed to be.

It was enough.

But I couldn't hide the expression on my face as I glanced back toward the girl.

I knew it showed —

the jealousy, the hurt, the helplessness.

When I looked away quickly, trying to pretend I didn't care,

Ren saw it.

Our eyes met again —

and this time, he didn't look away.

He started walking toward me, something unreadable in his gaze.

Ren stopped in front of me, tilting his head slightly, studying my face like he was trying to figure out a difficult puzzle.

I kept my head down, pretending to fiddle with the hem of my sleeve.

But I could feel his eyes — sharp, curious — not letting me go.

"You look like a kicked puppy," he said finally, his voice low and teasing.

"Did you think I was gonna kiss her or something?"

I flinched, my whole face burning.

I didn't answer — I couldn't.

Ren chuckled under his breath, the sound soft but rough around the edges.

He crouched down a little, bringing his face closer to mine.

"You know," he said, his voice quieter now, almost serious,

"if you stand out there staring like that, someone might get the wrong idea."

I clenched my fists tightly in my lap, willing myself not to cry, not to shake, not to fall apart.

But Ren's next words made my chest tighten in a way I couldn't explain.

"I don't mind though," he added, almost like a whisper.

His gaze softened for a second — quick, like a flash of something real before he smirked again.

"You're an idiot for standing out in the rain," he said, ruffling my wet hair roughly like I was some stray cat he picked up off the street.

"But if you're gonna be an idiot, at least do it inside, where I can see you."

He straightened up then, slipping back into his usual, careless self, but something between us had shifted.

Something delicate.

Something dangerous.

I sat there, heart pounding, unable to move, unable to speak.

But for the first time —

it didn't feel like I was invisible anymore.

Ren disappeared behind the counter for a moment, tossing a towel at me a second later without saying a word.

It hit me in the chest, and I fumbled to catch it, feeling my face heat up all over again.

"Dry yourself before you catch a cold, idiot," he muttered.

I squeezed the towel tightly in my hands, breathing in the faint scent of detergent and something that was just him.

Warm. Familiar.

Dangerous.

As I awkwardly patted my hair, I couldn't help it — my eyes found him again.

Ren was wiping down tables now, casually moving through the café like he owned the place, even though he clearly didn't care much about the job.

He laughed a little at something the manager said, his smile bright and sharp, careless and beautiful.

And without thinking —

without meaning to —

I stared.

I loved him so much it hurt.

Loved the way he existed so loudly in a world where I barely made a sound.

Maybe I stared too long.

Maybe I was too obvious.

Because suddenly, Ren paused.

He looked back at me.

Really looked.

Not the way you glance at someone and forget.

Not the way you look at a stranger.

His smile faded just a little, replaced by something quieter, something uncertain.

For a second, there was no teasing in his eyes — only confusion.

Like he wasn't sure what he was seeing.

Or why it made his chest feel strangely tight.

He ran a hand through his still-damp hair, almost awkwardly, and turned his face away, pretending to be busy again.

But he kept glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.

Maybe he didn't understand it yet.

Maybe he didn't even want to.

But the way I looked at him —

he had felt it.

And something inside him...

felt it back.

Ren leaned lazily against the counter, wiping down a cup as he chatted with Daiki Morita, one of his coworkers — and unfortunately, a senior at our school too.

I sat quietly by the window, forehead pressed against the cool glass, watching the rain.

It was easier to pretend the world outside was more important than the ache in my chest.

"You see that kid?" Daiki said, nudging Ren with his elbow and smirking.

Ren barely glanced up. "Huh?"

Daiki tilted his head toward me.

"The one by the window. He's so cute. Totally my type."

Ren made a face, setting the cup down with a loud clatter.

"Why are you telling me that?"

"Because," Daiki said, grinning, "he's all messy and lost-looking. Doesn't even care about himself. That's kinda hot."

Ren rolled his eyes, clearly irritated now.

"He's annoying," Ren muttered under his breath.

"Stares too much."

Daiki laughed. "I think I've seen him at school. He's in your class, right?

Sits just behind you. Left side?"

Ren shrugged, crossing his arms.

"I guess. I don't pay attention."

Daiki leaned closer.

"Mysterious types are fun, y'know. Maybe I should ask him out?"

Ren scowled.

"Do whatever you want," he snapped, turning away sharply — but his shoulders were stiff, like he wasn't as indifferent as he sounded.

Daiki grinned wider and grabbed a drink tray before heading over to my table.

I kept my eyes locked on the rain, trying to will myself invisible.

Please don't notice me. Please just walk away.

Instead, he slid into the seat across from me with a thud.

He reached across the table and grabbed my hand without hesitation.

"Hey, cutie," he said brightly.

"Why are you all alone here?"

I flinched, trying to pull away, but Daiki tightened his grip.

I turned my face away, back to the window, wishing the glass could swallow me.

"Aww, shy?" Daiki teased, reaching out to grab my chin and turn my face toward him.

I didn't have the strength to fight — he was older, a senior, and I was taught to respect that.

"N-No, senpai," I mumbled.

He leaned closer, smirking.

"So what are you doing here? Waiting for someone?"

I nodded weakly, heart pounding in my ears.

Then, without warning, his hand slid around my waist.

"You're so thin," he murmured, fingers pressing against me like he had every right.

"Are you on a diet or something? You've got a waist like a girl."

I froze, body locking up, my breathing turning shallow and desperate.

His touch, his closeness — it dragged up old memories I tried so hard to bury.

I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Across the café, Ren straightened abruptly.

His eyes snapped to us, and for a second, his whole body tensed like he was ready to punch something.

He crossed the room in a few quick strides.

"Enough," Ren barked, voice cold and sharp like broken glass.

"Get to another table. The manager's calling you."

Daiki looked annoyed.

"Tch. Whatever," he muttered, releasing me and walking off with a dramatic roll of his eyes.

The moment he was gone, I sagged against the window, finally able to breathe again.

Ren stood there for a second, looking down at me, his brows furrowed.

Then he cleared his throat roughly.

"What do you want to drink?" he asked, voice a little softer now.

I blinked up at him, still dazed.

"A hot chocolate... please," I whispered.

Ren nodded once, then turned sharply on his heel, walking back to the counter — but not before I caught the strange, unreadable look in his eyes.

Like he didn't know why, but something inside him had shifted too.