Chapter 15 — The Voices We Don't Seek
The sun beat against the dirty windows of the brothel, filtering a warm, deceptively soft light into the hallways. The kind of light that gave some the illusion of possible peace. Vaën, however, knew.
Peace didn't live here.
It passed through, sometimes. It watched. And then it fled, like the others.
He descended the stairs slowly when a girl gave him a nod.
Another whispered a barely audible "thank you" as he moved a bucket from the path.
Even a client, his face already cloudy from cheap wine, greeted him with an awkward familiarity.
Vaën didn't respond.
Not out of disdain.
But because he didn't know how it was done.
Or rather, because he had never learned to care.
For some time now, eyes had been sticking to him.
Words.
Intentions.
As if a veil had been lifted and people could finally see him.
He didn't like it.
In the brothel, he had learned to disappear without actually disappearing. To be there without existing. To serve without being noticed.
And yet now…
Words were thrown at him. Glances held back. Smiles tried on.
He knew where this change came from.
Not from his face. Nor from his posture.
But from something beneath his skin, something others sensed without being able to name.
A tension.
A tremor.
Something strangely alive.
He entered the small room where Nira kept the accounts.
She looked up from her papers, squinting.
— You're still here?
— I live here, he replied.
She stared at him, half-amused, half-tired. Vaën liked Nira for a simple reason: she spoke little. And above all, she didn't ask useless questions.
She had her own past.
And it didn't shine.
— Want something? she asked, offering him a half-eaten loaf of bread.
He took it without answering. Sat in a corner, against the wall.
They ate in silence.
Vaën liked these moments.
Not because they were warm. But because they were authentic.
No forced smiles.
No curious stares.
Just two bodies in a room. Two battered souls.
And the sound of bread being chewed slowly.
When he left, Lucia was waiting for him in the hallway.
— You're sleeping poorly, she said without preamble.
— I sleep enough.
She didn't reply.
She had learned.
She, like him, had adapted to this strange closeness.
They didn't touch.
They barely looked at each other.
But something in their silences had started to breathe in the same rhythm.
Lucia was beginning to understand how to speak to him. Not with words.
But with absences.
And Vaën accepted it, slowly. Like a blade left beneath the skin because it had become part of him.
They walked together to the kitchen.
Crossing two young girls, one of whom nervously laughed when her gaze met Vaën's.
He looked away.
He had seen.
In that laugh. In that shiver.
The mask.
And behind it, the abyss.
Vaën didn't need anyone to tell him about their pain.
It all had the same shape.
It was written in the way they walked, in the silences, in the smiles at the wrong moments.
And he knew how to read it.
Not to help.
Not to console.
But because understanding had become his only act of survival.
He knew, by looking at the others, that no one here was whole.
Not even him.