Prophetic Sound

It had already been 5 years since I was diagnosed, and it wasn't getting any better, I thought my life was over.

I had been through so many hospital visits, doctor appointments and clinics, all trying to find out what was happing to me, I had become deathly sick. My skin turned pale, eyes blood shot, and bruises started popping up all over my body, the doctors were so dumbfounded at what was causing this since it all happened so fast. After months of testing and my condition worsening they finally found what was happening, I was diagnosed with a rare very aggressive cancer that attacked my immune system as well as my eardrums.

I remember the day I they found out what was going on, it was just another friday for me. I had walked into the clinic for testing yet again but the doctors seemed more concerned than usual, I can vividly remember, the receptionist's eyes staring at me like daggers that whole time I was in the waiting room. As I sat in the room I remember staring at the turquoise walls that surrounded me, listening to the music that echoed through the speakers. Little did I know that would have been one of the last times I listened to music, the doctors finally came out to the waiting room calling me and my parents in, as usual I would walk into the room sitting down on the bed, but that day was different. I had rushed into the room because I wanted to get it over with as soon as possible since every friday after my tests I was allowed to get a toy from the toy bin and I loved the toy bin. I rushed onto the bed and laid there still as a board waiting for the doctor to come, I remember him taking longer than usual until he finally entered the room but alongside a nurse, he told me to follow her outside to the toy bin, which was strange since that was usually after but I didn't pay any mind and followed.

As I left the room I could see on the doctor's face that he was about to say something sad, and after I grabbed my toy from the bin I walked back to the room but it was closed shut locked from the inside. The nurse noticed that I was standing infront of the room and tried to distract me ask if I "wanted another toy" but it was too late. The walls were thin and I overheard the doctor telling my parents that they weren't sure that I would even make it past 15 and to cherish the time they had left with me, he had told them I had stage 4 cancer.

That was 5 years ago, now here I am, at 17, didn't beat the cancer, am still dying, but just pushed it back a little, you know. A side effect of the chemo was that my hearing was taken from me, which might as well have been my life. I wasn't like I lost it immediately but I went away pretty fast, a month to be exact. One lousy month after starting my chemo I had become deaf.

As of 4 months, I've been in a coma trapped inside my own mind, laying on a hospital bed, hooked up to god knows what, pumping my body full of chemicals and toxins all to "keep me alive" but this. This isn't living.

An upside to what will most likely be my death, is that they took me off the chemo. I can tell because my hearing comes now but rarely, and it's in and out, I'll take it though it's better than dying without sound, at least I can hear that cheesy radio that keeps on playing down the hall, or so I think. I don't know since I can't see but I'm pretty sure I'm right since I heard the nurses walk in from that direction, I thought I heard the doctor speaking to my parents about my status the other day, or maybe it was longer than that. On top of everything that I've talked about, I've seemed to have lost my sense of time.

What a drag.

My life before I was so rudely interrupted by cancer was great, really; not much to complain about; I had friends, a great social life, and was an all-around joyful person who was always excited to try something new and exciting.

I remember as a kid I would run down to the pier every time I could get the chance, we lived closed to the sea back then so my dad had taught me how to fish. I fell in love with it, the weight of the rod, the feeling of being dragged towards the sea, being able to see the ripples in the water start to form as the fish came closer, and best of all the sound of the fish jumping out of the water slapping against the sand. What I would give to go back, to late now though but what's the harm in reminiscing.

I was never top of my class in any way imaginable, but I was a pretty good student if I do say so my self, I could hold slightly above average grades my whole academic career. However, slowly, after I lost my hearing, all of those started to fade, who knew that hearing had such an impact on your life? I felt detached from the world in a sense, like I had something important robbed or taken from me without warning.

It hurt.

I remember hearing my mother call my name home after a long school day, or I should say school; back then, school felt long every day. After the bell rings, I rush home and return before 3 because that's when my childhood favorite cartoon airs. Back then, my friend group constituted of 7 or 8, I think, and it was just the best, Im pretty sure they come to visit me here, which is nice I just wish I could thank them for still caring about me.

One of my favorite past times as a kid and still now is reading, whether it be novels, web novels, light novels, comics, or manga I would devolve into what ever I had my hands on trying to dissect each page or emotion it brought out of me.

Music was also another big escape for me, it's kind of like a drug, hearing something that makes you feel a certain way over and over, those escapes had me in a chokehold.

The days of playing and listening to the music of the world were so good to me. I wish I could re-live those moments; I was foolish back then.

I was admitted to the hospital 4 months before my 17th birthday. That day I was brought to the ER was the day I think I lost hope in pulling through. Although I wasn't too far off from showing up in the ER just off of natural causes, I mean, I had lost my hair, my ability to speak, and worst of all, I think I started to get into those weird online conspiracy chat rooms, but that's beside the point.

The reason I was brought into the ER was because of pure un-luck; you're good pal, Aoto Yamamoto, here, was struck by a car.

That day was something straight out of your favorite isekai. I mean, come on. I was walking down the streets of New York, and due to my lack of hearing, I couldn't hear the car coming straight toward me, but that's not to say I wasn't cautious. I looked both ways and crossed when the light told me I could.

It was a clean and cut drunk driving accident that had landed me on my early deathbed.

If I'm being honest, I don't harbor all that much anger towards the driver. From my perspective, it's not like I wasn't too far off from coming to the hospital within a couple of months just from cancer. It was almost poetic, but it was just an early trip to my end.

At the moment, things as they stand don't look too good; since I'm in a coma, all I can do is talk to myself; there's nothing else besides thinking, which is the same thing as talking to myself.

I feel like I'm not in control anymore, not to say I have never been since I was deaf. I'm forced to just think, but not much has changed in my life. I honestly don't mind. It's not like I was able to talk beforehand. Now I'm doing the same sh*t that I was before being in a coma. You know, out of all of the ways I had imagined dying, this was probably one of the lower ones on my list. I had guessed my heart would give out in my sleep, but I'm not mad about this route either. Honestly, I'm pretty happy this is how I go out.

I like to think of it as somewhat f*ck you towards the cancer that has ruined my life; having it be just an unfortunate accident that takes me out and not the disease that's plagued me for the last 5 years gives me comfort knowing that anything can happen to people no matter what circumstances they're under.

A part of me hoped I would get to go out on my terms, having this big drawn-out speech with my family and friends in the room to listen to, which is ironic because I stopped trying to speak years ago because what's the point of talking if you can't even listen?

I thought I was prepared for all this for the last few months. I won't lie. I've been acting pretty emo or sad, and I don't know if you get what I'm trying to say. It's just that I wanted to kind of embrace the fact that I wasn't gonna be able to experience more of life, like going to college, losing my virginity, finding my wife, getting married, and starting a family those things so I chose to isolate myself and try to live out these few months, or so I thought with a new perspective. But it's kind of really all hitting me now, God, it's hitting me.

I'm feeling all of these unknown and unfamiliar emotions that I don't think I've genuinely felt since before I lost my hearing.

It's uncomfortable.

I don't have many regrets, if any. It would just be to hear again. With that, I would be happy.

At this point, so much time had passed that Aoto didn't realize that his hour of reckoning was imminent; his heart was failing at a rapid pace.

"Do you wish to live?"

Hello…. Hello, " cried Aoto.

The strange voice carried an echo alongside it and seemed to be that of a woman. The voice asked yet again, "Do you wish to live."

Aoto, shocked by the realization he could hear this voice, cried out WHO ARE YOU.

The voice didn't answer and replied yet again with the same question, "Do you wish to live?".

Aoto, before he could mutter his response, continued to say, "Do you wish to hear?"

An even greater silence was piled on in this already ambient void that was Aotos mind.

Aoto, in a cautious yet uncertain state, didn't think twice and simply said, "Yes."

There was a long moment where neither the voice nor Aoto exchanged any form of sound; then suddenly, the voice started to laugh uncontrollably.

"he…..he….HE..HEHEHEH".

The sound of the voice's laughter filled the abyss that Aoto was in, causing what felt like an earthquake in Aoto's mind to begin, having him spiral into fear until it went quiet.

The voice returned to normal and said only one thing before appearing to leave.

"As you wish".

Within a split second after saying this, the voice left the abyss and went silent, and Aoto seemed to have been moved somewhere else.