Guilt (Part 3)

The Life of Aurelius Valemont: Guilt (Art 3)

Suddenly, I felt a hand pat my shoulder.

I turned around and saw a man standing behind me. He wore a grey wolf mask with the Roman numeral I carved at the top. His uniform looked like that of a convenience store cashier, and on his chest was a logo of a grey wolf with the word Alpha stitched beneath it. He was about my height, maybe just a little taller, and had grey hair.

Then I heard a deep voice from behind the mask. Calm. Controlled.

"Second Prime," he said, "you're free to rule us. Eleventh… he's like my son. We're tagged as criminals because that's the only way we've ever known how to survive."

I looked at the boy—the Eleventh Pillar—still waiting for my answer. I hadn't said anything back to him yet.

Then First—Alpha—nodded toward the building in front of us. "Come. Let's go to the First Quarter—my division."

Without another word, he turned and walked toward the grand hotel with the grey wolf logo and the Roman numeral I shining above the entrance.

And so, we followed him.

We stepped inside the hotel—Alpha's division, the First Quarter. This was where the Pillars gathered.

Each hallway led to different rooms, and each door bore a unique design: Roman numerals from I to XII and logos of the animals tied to each Pillar—from the fierce bush dog to the proud grey wolf. It felt like a kingdom beneath the surface, each piece crafted to reflect the power it held.

The hotel bustled with staff, each dressed in formal uniforms. On their brooches were the same animal logos, symbolizing the Pillar they served. The most elegant and disciplined wore grey wolf brooches—they moved with quiet authority, clearly leaders among the rest. They must have belonged to Alpha's division.

The ceiling stretched high above us, polished and shining, carved with patterns and lined with golden trim. Sculptures lined the walls—some human, some animal, others abstract. State-of-the-art technology hummed quietly all around us, integrated so seamlessly into the old-world design that it made the entire place feel like a merger of past and future. It was clear—this was built with the influence of many Pillars.

Alpha led us through a hallway and stopped before a heavy door. The wood was deep brown, carved with a Roman numeral I and the head of a grey wolf.

We entered.

Inside was a grand chamber. A long table stretched across the room, wide enough to seat twelve. Each chair was large, high-backed, and uniquely carved with both a number and the signature animal of a Pillar.

At the head of the table sat the First Chair—marked with a grey wolf and a shining numeral I. Strong. Commanding.

Without a word, the boy—the Eleventh Pillar—walked over and took his place at the eleventh seat. His chair was smaller than Alpha's but still grand, its back carved into the shape of a fennec fox, with soft fur decorations lining the arms. It looked comfortable, tailored for someone smaller, younger—yet still a ruler.

The room was quiet, save for our footsteps. Just the three of us, surrounded by silence and weight—like this space held countless decisions, secrets, and shadows.

This was where the Pillars met.

And though my father—Vukodlak—wasn't here, I could feel his presence still. His shadow stretched over every inch of this room.

Alpha—the First Pillar—took his seat. He looked stern, even while wearing a silly cashier uniform with an apron that bore the grey wolf logo, the word Alpha, and the Roman numeral I. His mask, shaped like a grey wolf, was carved with the same numeral. Yet despite the absurdity of his clothes, there was nothing silly about his presence. He radiated power and cold authority. Even with his face hidden, I could feel it—he was a man to fear and follow.

Silence filled the room like a heavy fog.

I slowly walked to a chair—one of the many around the table—and sat. The number carved above the seat was II. The Second Pillar.

The chair itself was majestic, shaped with care and pride. A domestic dog was carved into its back, loyal and disciplined, a symbol of order. Above it, the title was etched clearly: Pillar of Order. It sent a chill down my spine.

Then Alpha broke the silence. His voice was deep, steady, calm. "You are welcome here in the underground empire of VARAK, Second Prime. I heard your conversation with Eleventh. Do you want him to be your family?"

I looked toward the boy—Eleventh Pillar—his gaze curious, innocent, but silent.

My throat tightened. "You're probably aware of what I did to the people I once called family, right?" I looked down at my hands, as if the stains of their blood were still there. "I killed them. With these hands." My voice cracked, low and raw. "One escaped. Another… was taken by Vukodlak. My father."

I looked up, locking eyes with Alpha.

Just saying the word family made my chest ache. My heart clenched so tightly I could hardly breathe. It hurt. I missed them. I missed all of them so much. And the guilt… it never left. It lived inside me, like a shadow I couldn't escape.

Alpha watched me in silence, then finally said, "Vukodlak must have told you—we're not allowed to share names. Not down here. Titles, ranks, or nicknames only. But among Pillars… we are allowed to remove our masks in front of one another."

Without another word, he lifted his grey wolf mask and placed it gently on the table.

His face was sharp, weathered by time and battle. Blue eyes stared back at me, unwavering. A long scar marked the skin near his left eye, cutting down toward his cheek. His lashes were long and grey, like snow over ash. He looked to be in his late forties—wise, hardened, and strong.

Beside me, just few chairs away, the boy moved too.

Silently, the Eleventh Pillar removed his fennec fox mask.

Golden hair spilled over his forehead, soft and slightly curled. His hazel eyes blinked up at me, shimmering under the cold light. For a moment, he looked younger than I remembered. A child. But his eyes… they held pain too. Pain he carried quietly. Pain he had no choice but to grow around.

He said nothing. He didn't need to.

And still, I didn't know what to say.

Alpha sighed loudly. "Damn it. I need to drop this act already." He clicked his tongue, and something in him shifted.

I remembered what Eleventh had said—that Alpha could be cheerful and friendly like a pup, but when angered, he turned into a true Alpha. I didn't flinch or look away. Not like before, when the boy—Jayden—had startled me with his question.

"So, Second Prime… you're Aurelius, right? Lord Victor's eldest son?" Alpha grinned as if it were nothing.

I met his eyes. "Yes."

He scratched the back of his head, then gave me a lopsided smile. "Man, you really are tough to deal with, huh?"

From the way he acted, I could tell—he wasn't born into power. He was once a commoner. It was in the way he spoke, casual and blunt, unfiltered.

"My name's James," he said, lowering his voice a little. "Yeah, I know what Vukodlak said about not sharing names, but… don't tell anyone, alright?" He offered his hand with a big grin.

I looked at his hand, then at his face. I didn't move. I just stared at him like he'd lost his mind.

Keep this a secret? I'm Vukodlak's son. Did he forget that?

James let out a small, awkward laugh and slowly pulled his hand back. "Alright, alright… cold as ice, huh?" His grin stretched wider. "Anyway, that over there is Jayden. But just call him Jay. He's like a son to me. Found him on the streets—pale as snow—but too damn pretty to leave behind. Brought him into VARAK myself. Vukodlak saw his potential and made him a Pillar."

He kept talking. Rambling.

I could feel my patience slipping.

"Jayden's amazing. Vukodlak saw it right away. Adorable and talented, too. I'm so proud of him—like a real father. Found him when he was just five. He became a Pillar at six. Way too young for that kind of weight on his shoulders, but he handled it. Lotta VARAK members were jealous. I mean, who wouldn't be?"

He was still going.

I could feel my nerves twitching. My ears were ringing from all the chatter. Was he ever going to stop?

"Did you know," he leaned forward with a wide grin, "he used to pee his pants when I called him cute? HAHAHA! Poor kid! Gets all shy and embarrassed whenever I bring that up. Isn't he adorable? Right, Jayden?"

My eye twitched. My mouth twitched. Even my nose twitched from pure irritation.

Across the table, Jayden—Eleventh—turned away, his face bright red. He didn't say a word, but the way his ears burned said enough. He was definitely embarrassed.

And James? He just kept smiling like this was the most normal conversation in the world.

Unbelievable.

"Guess what?" James continued with a big grin. "He didn't even have a name when I found him on the street. I gave him the name Jayden—after mine. James and Jayden. Pretty adorable name for an adorable boy, eh?"

He turned to me, wiggling his eyebrows up and down like he was expecting a laugh. I resisted the urge to sigh and tried to scoot my chair a little farther from him. Technically, it wasn't even my seat. Still, he was seriously getting on my nerves.

"He's probably the youngest Pillar in VARAK's entire history," James said proudly. "Even among all the members. Man, the others were so jealous of him. Hahaha!"

He kept going. Rambling like there was no tomorrow.

I was seconds away from mentally checking out when he suddenly said something that caught my attention.

"Anyway," James said, scratching his chin. "I just remembered—before I brought Jayden in, there was another boy I met. A young one too. Crazy talented. He wasn't in my division though… I think he belonged to another Pillar."

I looked at him, just a bit more curious now. He seemed to be trying hard to remember.

"Ah, right! He was the youngest hacker in VARAK's history! Just five years old and already hacking into government data like it was child's play." James snapped his fingers. "A genius, that kid. I can't remember his name, but I know he used to be under the Tenth Pillar."

I didn't react outwardly—but deep inside, something stirred. That boy… he sounded familiar. Too familiar.

Like I'd known him once. Or maybe… I still did.

"But he was fired by Vukodlak," James continued, voice dropping a little, "because he was 'too young' to be part of the organization. That's the official reason, anyway. But you know what's strange?"

He leaned back in his chair, arms crossed. "Vukodlak welcomed Jayden in at just six years old—but not that boy. This happened years ago, almost a decade now. Maybe even more. Vukodlak's always been a mystery, but I think he's hiding something. Some of the Pillars think that kid might've hacked into something he shouldn't have. Like Vukodlak's private files… or VARAK's classified data. The kind only Vukodlak himself knows."

I stared at James for a long time, feeling like I wanted to say something—but the words wouldn't come out. That story… it was too familiar.

"Man, what was his name again?" James said, tapping his forehead. "I remember the Tenth Pillar was close to him. Said the kid was like a part of him or something. Ah! Wait! I remember! It's—"

"Philip Langford."

The name slipped from my mouth before I could stop it.

Both Alpha—James—and Jayden froze, turning to look at me in stunned silence.

James raised an eyebrow. "How did you know, Second Prime? Did you… know that boy?" He studied me more closely. "Come to think of it, he was around your age back then."

My chest tightened. I clenched my fists under the table.

Guilt.

It swirled inside me like a storm.

I turned to him, my voice calm and cold. "Maybe if you dropped the act, I'd feel a little better."

He laughed. "Man, you really are cold."

I exhaled slowly. "Philip… he was my best friend after he got fired. His grandfather used to take him to the library. That's where we met, back when we were just kids."

Jayden, the Eleventh Pillar, raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"But it's none of your business," I added sharply. "I killed his grandfather. He escaped. So did VARAK's former second-in-command, Matthew. And Yumi… my personal maid. She was like a mother to me."

I rubbed my temples, trying to ease the pounding guilt pressing against my skull.

Jayden stood and gently held my hand, like a quiet, curious boy. "You good?"

His blank, unreadable eyes were now searching mine with something that looked like concern.

I nodded faintly.

Then Alpha ruffled my hair like I was some child. "Boy, we've all been there," he said with a bitter grin. "You wanna hear my past?"

He didn't wait for an answer.

"I killed my entire family," he said with a hollow laugh. "My children. My wife. My parents. Even my neighbors. All because of Vukodlak."

His chuckle was cold and humorless. "Yeah… still hurts, ya know? So calling Jayden my son—it's kind of shameless of me." He let out another rough laugh. "Hahahaha!"

Jayden looked down at the floor. His small hand still held mine.

Alpha sighed, grabbed his grey wolf mask, and slipped it back over his face. Jayden did the same, placing the fennec fox mask gently over his own.

Alpha stood and chuckled. "Anyway, it's really nice to have you as our Second Prime. Hope you get along with the other pillars. Some of them are stubborn, by the way." He stretched and added with a grin, "I'm heading back to my personal quarter—Second out of twenty-four. I love pretending to be a cashier at the convenience store."

The three of us left the Grand Hall of Pillars inside the hotel. Members of Alpha's division—disguised as hotel staff—moved in to clean up the space.

Jayden, still holding my hand, stayed close beside me. His hand was so small that I could easily crush it, but I didn't let go. He seemed too fragile—too easy to hurt.

We stepped outside as Alpha waved and disappeared into his convenience store.

Jayden turned to me. "You still haven't answered me. Do you want me to be your family?"

I didn't smile. I didn't flinch. I didn't say anything at first—just stood still, staring ahead.

Then I sighed. The word family still stung too much.

But slowly, I nodded.

Jayden's fingers tightened around mine, just a little. "Then walk with me to my personal quarter. I don't want to be alone."

So I walked with him—like a babysitter trailing after a child.

Eventually, we arrived at his personal quarter. His men, lined up by the door, bowed deeply at the sight of me. I was, after all, the Second Prime of VARAK.

Jayden finally let go of my hand, gave me a small nod, and stepped inside his room.

I stood there in silence, watching the door close behind him.

I returned to the estate. My footsteps were slow and heavy as I walked toward the East Wing.

Through the window, I could see the sky beginning to brighten—dawn had arrived. I hadn't slept. Not since I was appointed as the Second Prime of VARAK. Or maybe… not since I killed those four.

Eventually, I reached the door I had been heading for. It was large, tall, and heavy. I pushed it open.

The library.

The very place I stained with blood just hours ago. The place where I had taken lives with my own hands.

But now… it was spotless. Not a trace of blood, not a sign of the bodies. Someone had already cleaned everything.

I slowly walked to the sofa and sat down—the same one where people used to laugh, read, argue, and talk. Where it used to be lively, even warm.

Now it was just empty.

I leaned back and laid down, covering my eyes with my hand. And then, in a shaky voice, I began to sing.

Yumi's favorite song.

"Beautiful sunshine and the rain,

Wishing upon the sunflower.

Every drop could tear the pain,

Until all is over."

The tune was still clear in my mind.

Yumi once told me that my mother composed that song the day I was born. That's why it was her favorite.

My chest ached.

Guilt.

Shame.

Loneliness.

Everything.

It hurt too much.

I sighed—shaky and quiet. My throat tightened as I swallowed the pain, and at some point… I fell asleep.

Cradled by nothing but the weight of what I had done.

End of Chapter 63.

EEn