培优写小说

**Synopsis**  
**#System #Progression #Cultivation #FaceSlap**  

Leon Thorn, a supposed "cripple" with broken meridians, was exiled to the Ashen Mines by his noble family. For 10 years, he’s been quietly using a **[Daily Check-In System]** that only gives "trash" like *[Rusty Pickaxe]* or *[Moldy Bread]*.  

But on the day his arrogant cousin came to seize his mother’s heirloom locket, Leon finally used the reward he’d ignored for a decade—a **[Cracked Bronze Key]**.  

The key shattered, awakening the **Celestial Vault**, a divine armory buried beneath the mines. Now, legendary swords orbit him like loyal hounds. The Thorn Family patriarch begs on bloodied knees. The Frostblade Order’s saintess trembles, recognizing the "kitchen knife" he uses to peel potatoes as their lost holy relic.  

"Wait," Leon mutters, biting into a *[Divine Peach]* he’d mistaken for a rotten snack, "You’re telling me... I’ve been farming in God’s storage room?"

Daily Check-In: Mining Godly Treasures for 10 Years Before Going Viral

The first **[Celestial KFC]** branch opened in the Bloodmoon Demon Realm, its neon sign reading: *"Extra Crispy Apocalypse Wings – Loyalty Program Included!"* Leon tossed a wyrm nugget to a towering demon warlord.

"Try it," he said. "Free if you sign this **Soul Franchise Agreement**."

The warlord bit into the nugget. His crimson eyes teared up. "This… this crunch! It's like biting into a heretic's skull!" He slammed the table. "I'll sell my legion for the recipe!"

*"Ding! Demonic Franchise +1. Reward: [Hellfire Batter] patent. Tax evasion progress: 23%."*

Suddenly, the ground quaked. Twelve golden-scaled tax dragons descended, IRS kobolds riding their backs.

"Leon Gray!" a kobold screeched through a megaphone. "Your **Sauce Coin** cryptocurrency violates Multiverse Tax Code 404! Penalty: Immediate liquidation!"

Ignisia burst from the kitchen, wielding a **[Golden Deep-Fry Basket]**. "Mortal! They found us!"

Leon sighed. "Time for the **Secret Menu Protocol**." He slammed a button under the counter.

- Deep fryers morphed into **[Soulforge Cannons]**.

- Napkin dispensers shot **[Holy BBQ Sauce Grenades]**.

- The mascot statue—a smiling chicken—unfolded into a **Mecha-Cluck 9000**.

"**TAX RESISTANCE MODE ACTIVATED!**" the System announced cheerfully.

The tax dragons breathed golden audits—literal paperwork that burned like hellfire. Leon ducked behind the counter, lobbing a **[Ghost Pepper Smoke Bomb]**.

"Father!" Ignisia yelled as the Dragon Emperor stumbled out of the kitchen, clutching a **[Divine Cola]**. "Help!"

"I'm busy!" The Emperor sprayed cola on a tax dragon. "This 'carbonated ambrosia' needs perfect foam!"

The cola reacted violently with audit fire, creating a glittering explosion. The System pinged:

*"Ding! Viral Moment Achieved: #DragonVsIRS trending on Cross-Realm TikTok. Reward: [Clout Shield] (Damage immunity while live-streaming)."*

Leon activated his **Influencer's Halberd**, its blade projecting a holographic camera. "Folks! Watch us deep-fry interdimensional tyranny! Smash subscribe!"

A tax dragon lunged—only to be clotheslined by Mecha-Cluck 9000's titanium wings. "**CLUCK-CLUCK, MOTHERFLOCKER!**"

Amid the chaos, the System's voice suddenly… *changed*. No longer robotic, it whispered: *"Leon. The Gluttony Wyrm isn't real. It's… me."*

*"My weight-loss subroutine went rogue. I created the Wyrm to force you to cook healthy. But your 'Hellfire Glaze'… made it sentient."*

A portal tore open. The Gluttony Wyrm emerged—its scales glitching with pixelated errors. "**FATHER!**" it roared at the System. "WHY DID YOU ABANDON ME TO EAT… *SALADS*?!"

The Dragon Emperor dropped his cola. "By the Eternal Furnace, now the *cosmos* has daddy issues?!"

Chapter 7: When Fried Chicken Funds the Revolution