Chapter 76 - It Took Me Two Hundred Years to Learn to Love You

Xin Yu knelt beside her. Before him lay Yae Sakura, her hair completely white, her face covered in wrinkles, her figure somewhat frail. She was tucked into her quilt, eyes squinted, her gaze already clouded.

Yae Sakura looked at Xin Yu kneeling beside her, a faint smile forcing its way onto her lips.

"You... still haven't changed at all."

Xin Yu gazed at the Yae Sakura before him. She was dying. Her lifespan… had reached its end.

Yae Sakura's clouded eyes looked at Xin Yu, who appeared almost no different from how he had two hundred years ago. Yes, two hundred years had passed.

In truth, Yae Sakura should have died long ago. It was only because Xin Yu had been sustaining her life through certain means. However, if he wanted to extend her life further, Xin Yu would have to use the cultivation power within his body to thoroughly infuse Yae Sakura's entire being, down to her very soul.

Was this a good thing? No, it was not.

One must not forget, Xin Yu himself possessed the power of the Void. The reason he hadn't been completely devoured by the Void yet was because Honkai energy was still fused with it within his body, and Xin Yu himself possessed a very unique nature. Thus, even after two hundred years, the Void had still not been able to completely consume Xin Yu.

But Yae Sakura could not withstand it. Even after practicing the cultivation techniques modified by Xin Yu and having her life extended by over a hundred years, she had now reached her limit.

If he were to use the power of the Void to forcibly extend her life, perhaps she could recover completely within a year or two, regaining the radiance and vitality of her youth, even possessing greater strength. But what would be the cost?

Complete assimilation by the Void. Will, spirit, soul – not a trace would remain... assimilated.

"Lord God... because of my selfishness, I have kept you here for two hundred years. In these two hundred years, have you truly never thought of leaving?"

Xin Yu reached out, stroking the aged face that bore almost no resemblance to the young Yae Sakura of the past. His eyes were filled with gentleness, just as they had been back then.

"I gave you salvation, yet I also took away all your love, stripped away all meaning from your life. Therefore, I responded to your love for me, and I also learned how to love you. Sakura, do not blame yourself, nor have any regrets. These two hundred years, I too have been very happy."

The elderly Yae Sakura looked at the youthful Xin Yu, at the gentleness in his eyes, at the tenderness and love within them that mirrored her own.

"Lord God... do you... truly love me? Or are you merely sacrificing yourself, just as you once sacrificed your time to accompany me?"

"What are you saying, Sakura? You've asked me this question many times before. I truly fell in love with you, which is why I stayed with you."

"...Yes, I have asked many times. And each time, I received your affirmative answer, an answer that satisfied my heart... You truly are a benevolent god. You are the greatest miracle I have ever encountered."

Yae Sakura's voice grew fainter, her breath weaker.

"Lord God, am I... am I about to die?"

Yae Sakura's eyes suddenly brightened somewhat, and her voice regained a touch of strength.

"Don't overthink it, Sakura. You're just a little tired. Sleep well. I will stay by your side. When you wake up, the first thing you see when you open your eyes will be me."

"...You've lied to me for a lifetime. Are you going to continue lying even now?"

"..."

"Lord God, you are always like this, always selflessly dedicating yourself to others, never caring about yourself, never caring how much you've sacrificed... You knew I loved you deeply when I was young, that my feelings had even become distorted. So you stayed. You used two hundred years, just to stay here and accompany an ordinary person like me."

"You said you had more things to do, more things you wanted to achieve. But even so, you were willing to stay here, to play the part of the god in my heart, the lover in my heart, responding to my love for you with the most perfect demeanor."

"...You... truly make it hard for one to be at ease."

"Why can't you be a little more selfish, why can't you be a little more willful..."

"Two hundred years... Xin Yu, you are free. You don't have to watch over an old woman like me anymore. You don't have to stay here any longer. Go and do what you want to do. I just hope that in the future, you can be a little more selfish, consider yourself a little more..."

"...Farewell, my... love."

Yae Sakura closed her eyes completely. Xin Yu silently watched as the life force of his beloved dissipated entirely, her very soul crumbling into dust and smoke before him due to the ravages of time.

He sat there, stunned, the gentle smile gone from his face, the abundant love in his eyes replaced by a vast emptiness.

He didn't know how long he sat there. Then, Xin Yu leaned down, lifted Yae Sakura from the bed, and walked outside.

Cradling the body of his beloved, he went to the mountain behind the shrine. There was an open space there, and a grave already stood on the ground.

It belonged to Yae Rin. Rin's aptitude had been lesser than Yae Sakura's, so she had passed away earlier.

Xin Yu came to the side of Rin's grave. A pit had already been dug there, and a coffin placed within. The coffin was filled with cherry blossoms, beautiful and in full bloom.

Xin Yu gently placed Yae Sakura's body into the coffin. Her originally aged face began to change, bit by bit. The wrinkles vanished, her white hair regained its sakura-pink hue, and her skin became smooth and radiant once more.

Yae Sakura returned to the appearance of her youth. Her complexion was rosy, and a gentle smile graced her lips, as if she had fallen into a long, deep slumber, dreaming a beautiful dream.

A corpse is a dead thing, so it can be changed.

Xin Yu caressed Yae Sakura's face, gazing at the visage that had accompanied him for two hundred years. In that instant, two hundred years of memories, two hundred years of their past, surged like a tide, overwhelming Xin Yu's heart.

He shed tears.

Two hundred years of companionship, two hundred years of shared time – how could it not have stirred his heart? How could there not have been a single shred of love?

It was just that he had always been pretending, always wearing a mask, always letting it obscure the true love in his heart, always feigning it with a love he had learned.

Only now, at this very moment, did he truly realize that he genuinely loved her.

"Sakura! I... I wasn't lying to you! I truly love you!"

Even with the power of time travel, Xin Yu could not return to a time where he himself existed. He could not reunite with the woman who had loved him.

This was a true, final farewell.

Tears flowed into his mouth. This time, Xin Yu finally tasted something other than the metallic tang of blood.

Bitterness.

The miko had spent her entire life trying to cook a dish whose flavor the god could taste, yet she never succeeded. In the end, with her death, she allowed the god to taste bitterness. Though this flavor was not pleasant, it was enough to be unforgettable for a lifetime.

...

He sat before the newly covered grave, weeping uncontrollably.

The Golden Core, deliberately suppressed for a full two hundred years, at this moment, naturally and completely formed.

Then, an uncontrollable power of space-time enveloped Xin Yu, and he vanished from the spot.

Two hundred years, passed by in a flash, leaving only a pair of lonely mounds.