CH-265. GIVE UP

Give up

Keifer's POV

They're all looking at me like I'm a criminal. I deserve it.

"What the hell Keifer!" Yuri said and grabbed me by my shirt. "You hurt Jay-jay and Kit because of your suspicions!"

I pushed her hand away. Despite what happened, I couldn't show that I was sorry. Even though that's what I really felt.

I'm full of regrets and agony.

It took me a long time to get over it. It took me a long time to realize that I was being consumed by anger. I hurt her. I hurt the woman I love and my friend.

What the fvck is wrong with me?!

I just said that I didn't want to hurt her anymore but my body seemed to have a mind of its own. I knew she was already in pain. I noticed how she's having

trouble walking. She even fell down earlier at the stairs.

But I was blind to his suffering because all I could understand was the pain I felt. How selfish of me.

"What's wrong with you Keifer?" Ci-N almost whispered.

I can feel his fear at me. I look at him and the others with blank

expression.

"Is it wrong to get angry?" I ask them.

"It's not wrong to get angry. But what you did was wrong! You made your anger

iral!" Yuri said still shouting at me.

I chuckled bitterly.

"Kit didn't kiss him." Someone said that make me stop.

I saw Edrix walking toward me. He looked at me with anger but

the worry was there.

"I heard them having an argument about it."

"I heard that before too! But Jay-jay made it clear that it didn't work out. Kit just tried." He explained.

Shit! I'm a fvcking dim-witted!

"Are you telling me the truth?"

He shook his head slightly. "I can't believe it. Are you really that narrow-minded!" He shouted.

He's obviously mad. I can't blame them. I embarrassed Jay-jay in front of them and others just because of my jealousy and anger.

"...of course it's true! Do you think

Jay-jay would just kiss anyone? Think about it!"

I almost laugh at his question. I looked at David whose face was still swollen from my punches. If I could just crush his skull, I would have.

I know Edrix is ​​telling me the truth. He's not lying to me and he has no reason to do that.

I sat down on the floor while pulling myself up. What's wrong with me? I shouldn't be doing this but I feel like I'm going to lose my mind.

I want this to end! I want my suffering to end! Even the people around me are suffering because of me. I'm taking my stress and pressure from what's happening to me out on them.

"I think we should leave Keifer alone." Yuri said to them.

"It's good... Let's go to the hospital first." Rory said.

"Let's go to the faculty and say goodbye." It was Calix.

They all walk together and leave me alone. Until two pairs of

feet landed on me.

"K-keifer... I'll go see Jay-jay first. He doesn't seem to be

well." Ci-N said.

I look at him and force a smile. "Please do... I want to know if she's

alright."

"It's obvious he's not okay." Felix said. "...I hope Keifer,

think carefully about what you did. You can't always act out your temper."

I just nodded and watched them leave. How can I control myself? How can

I control this anger? If I let them take over, I'll only hurt Jay-jay.

I don't want to see her suffer. What should I do?

In this situation, there's only one person I can think of to talk to. He's the only one who can clear my mind. He's the only one I know who can give me a good answer.

I grabbed my phone and dialed his number.

["Keifer..."] Is the first word I heard from him.

"Can we meet? I just need to talk."

["Okay. At the old place."] He said and ended the call.

My mind is filled with so many thoughts. I feel like this day will never end.

I'm sorry Jay...

I'm not just apologizing to anyone. I don't want to put myself down and blame myself. But for Jay-jay, I was ready to kneel.

I was ready to lower myself.

I forced myself to stand up and walk out of the classroom. I felt like I wasn't

myself as I walked down the road to the parking lot.

I didn't even realize that I had almost passed my car.

Luckily, I noticed the parked car that I almost hit.

I get inside my car and immediately start the engine. I tried to concentrate on driving because I might crash. But I still couldn't

avoid stepping on the gas too hard.

I arrived at my destination without realizing it. I parked my car and noticed that the car of the person I wanted to

talk to was already here.

He came here before I did. Maybe he's thirsty and ready to taste some

alcohol. I quickly got out of the car and went inside.

Kingsground...

I remembered the first time I saw this place. It was just an empty

building. It was being turned into a boxing ring by people who wanted to compete with each other. A hangout for students who didn't want to go to school and a hideout for people who had done something wrong with the law. I can't believe Tiger really pursued

his dream.

To have a place where everybody is free. Free to have an alcohol, free to

dance crazily, free to fight till death stop them and free to be whoever they

wanted to be.

I thought it was just a joke. It was a drunken conversation between him and his friends. While Angelo and I just listened while laughing at him.

When we entered, there was no one there except for the crew cleaning and

mopping the floor. The disco section was closed, so it was like this.

I heard a slow clap from not to far away. I looked at who it was.

"Look who we have here!" Tiger yelled while walking toward me.

He was wearing a black shirt and white shorts. His

shoes were yellow, which hurt his eyes.

"I'm looking for someone!" I said.

"I know... He's upstairs." He answered and points to his office.

I didn't wait for him to say anything. I went up to his glass

wall office. The place is soundproof so there is no noise

from outside or inside. Because of the glass wall, the stage and disco

ground are clearly visible below.

A great office for the owner of this place. That yellow hair is really good at planning.

When I opened the door, the person I met had his back to me while sitting in a swivel chair. He was also drinking a very expensive Brandy.

"You're late." He said and took a sip. "...or I'm too early?"

"I hurt Jay-jay."

After saying those words his glass flew through me. It almost hit me in the

head but I remained in my position.

"Dammit Keifer! I told you to stay away from my cousin!" He

shouted while pointing at me.

It had been a long time since I last saw him angry. But the feeling

is still the same. Part of me was still afraid of him.

Michael Angelo.

"What did you do to him?" He asked while trying to hold his anger.

I stared at him for a while. How does he do that? How does he

control his anger? After all, we're almost the same.

It's just scarier for him to get angry.

"H-how did you do that?" I asked out of curiosity.

For a moment, the reason I was here disappeared from my mind.

"What?!" He asked confused. "I'm asking you about Jay-jay!"

My anger. I have to control it!

While looking at him I couldn't help but hesitate to

answer his question. Maybe he'll kill me when he hears my answer.

"I-i..."

"Aries called me earlier. He said Jay-jay might have come home because he

was feeling bad. I texted at home but they said he wasn't there yet." He said. "...are you involved?"

I lowered my head. "She's at the hospital."

Less than a second later I felt his fist hit my face. I don't know how he managed to cross the distance between us.

I fell to the floor and writhed in pain. He hit my jaw.

F-fuck his fist and punch!

"I'll kill you Keifer! What did you do that you had to

bring him to the hospital?"

"N-no..." The pain is giving me trouble to speak.

He grabbed my shirt and lifted me up. He forced me to face him.

"Keifer... Speak now or I will break every bone in your body." Hey

said with authority.

His eyes are raging with anger. His threat is real because he can

really do that. He can literally break every inch of my bones.

"I-i... I humiliate h-her in front... of many p-people and ignore... the

fact that she's i-in... pain." I explained while catching my breath because

of pain.

I let him go and fell to the floor again. I insisted

sit and lean against the glass wall. I catch my breath properly and rest at the

same time.

"What do you mean she's in pain?" He asked calmly.

"I don't know what happened but I noticed she's having trouble

walking."

He took his phone out of his pocket and dialed a number. He turned his

back at me while waiting for someone to answer his call.

"Hey... It's me." He said. "Please check the CCTV record around me

area. Look for a girl wearing an HVIS uniform and riding a bike." He

paused for a while. "...yes. I'm talking about my cousin Jay-jay." He

paused again and looked at me. "Sure. I owe you."

He put the phone back in his pocket after ending the call and

came over to me. I stood up and shook my clothes. I still feel a bit dizzy

but I choose to ignore it.

"Explained to me everything."

I did as he ordered while drinking alcohol. It was the same as

he was drinking. I started when my head started to heat up and Kit and her anger piled up.

He was listening intently while sipping from his new glass of Brandy.

I expected him to get angry again after telling me the truth.

I also prepared my body in case his fist flew at my face again.

But after telling him what happened he didn't say a thing. He kept

sipping from his glass until it's empty.

He still didn't speak so I broke the silence.

"Aren't you going to hit me again?"

He shook his head. "One punch is enough. If I had, I would have

broken your skull but now... I can handle things

without using my fist all the time."

I stared at the glass I was holding. I shook it slightly and the ice inside stirred.

"I don't know what to do anymore." I whispered.

Angelo cleared his throat. "To be honest with you, you did a good job. You just pushed Jay-jay away from you."

Yes, I just did.

I know he doesn't want me for Jay-jay. He doesn't want me to get close to him. He doesn't want what happened to him before to happen again.

He doesn't want that to happen to us.

I'm not damn. Even if he doesn't show it, I know he's still carrying

his past. To the woman who built him up but also crushed him.

Ion.

"...You're so stubborn." He said and poured wine into his glass.

"...I want Jay-jay to study well but he seems to be getting even more stubborn." He sighed. "I should have transferred him to a different section a long time ago."

"Do you hate me that much?"

He stopped before taking another sip from his glass.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you hate me that much that you don't want me for Jay-jay?"

"I don't hate you but I don't really like you for Jay-jay." He

answered.

Even though I know that, I still can't help but feel

unhappy. It's like everyone doesn't like me.

"W-why?" I feel numb from my throat.

"Because you have a very complicated life. I don't want

Jay-jay to be involved in your family's troubles. His life is already in trouble and he doesn't need

you like him." He's looking straight at me while

explaining "...and one more thing... I see myself in you."

Maybe he's right. I shouldn't involve Jay-jay in my family's troubles. As long as he's attached to me, he and he will be the ones targeted by

Clyde and the Elders.

"What should I do?" I asked him without thinking.

His eyes filled with authority, like a King in his throne. No one can

dethrone him from his position. And like before, his words are still

powerful.

"Push her away from you."

Those words strike me like an arrow. I have to push her away. It's the

only way to protect her from my family... From me.

But pushing her away means... Hurting her.

No.

The image of her crying because of me is giving me so much pain

already. But I don't have any choice. I have no other option.

It seems like I can't, I can't let her go. I can't

let her go. I'm going crazy! I can't do it.

I couldn't control myself anymore. I fell to my knees as my tears fell. I dropped the glass I was holding.

"N-no... I-I can't." I said and cried like a child.

I don't know but I feel like I'm being crushed. I can't afford to lose Jay-jay. I don't know what I'll do if that happens.

Everything I like, I don't want. I did everything to make them mine. But it's pointless because Yuri is still on their minds. And I'm left with no one to love.

Now I've been given the chance to love and be loved.

But why does this have to happen? Why do I have to push her away from me? I feel like I don't have the right to be happy anymore.

I heard a footsteps walking toward me. I didn't bother to look.

"Look at yourself. You're weak." Angelo said. "...How can you fight for me if you can't protect me from your anger?"

I'm not strong enough.

"...Show me our difference. Prove to me that you deserve her."

I will... I will prove to you.

I will do anything to prove it. I will fight for her and I will never let her go. I will make myself stronger. But I have to protect her first. From my

relatives and from me. I have to push her away. I need to do that.

But I need you so bad... Jay-jay.