Chapter 59

Feeling utterly disarmed and disheveled, Yue Wu Huan lowered his head, unable to meet that clear gaze.

Since Song Qing Shi had taken him in and showered him with affection, his reputation in certain respects had been destroyed.

When he first left the valley, even before he gained a reputation for madness, he had already acquired a notoriety for his sensual allure. People made him the butt of jokes, asking what kinds of pleasures the Medicine King Immortal Sovereign preferred in bed. Some even dared to assume that the Medicine King could easily be swayed by carnal matters and thought about sending beautiful slaves in exchange for elixirs. All of this quieted down only after he showed his fangs, prompting people to fear him and, consequently, cease such talk—at least to his face.

Every time he thought about how he had dragged this pure man, detached from the worldly dirt, into his tainted world, he felt desolate.

Yue Wu Huan was incredibly sad.

He had considered giving in to his love, and confirming all the rumors. He was skilled in various methods of seduction and knew how to bring heavenly pleasure to the bedroom. It would be easy to make his Lord taste the flavor of desire and become dependent on him.

But he couldn't...

These methods would blur the lines between the past and the present, ultimately tainting their love with an unspeakable hue.

Having gone through what he had, he felt extreme aversion to submission, considering it the greatest humiliation. How could he then subject the one he loved to that same humiliation? How would that be different from repaying kindness with enmity?

Absolutely not...

He could not bear such shame; he even wished he could kill the unrestrained version of himself that appeared in his dreams. Each time after he released his desires, his mind would go blank, and he would see in his mind's eye the satisfied faces of those beasts, the agonizing submission of the young men, and his own shameless self, only to snap back to reality amidst waves of nausea.

He dared not touch upon matters of intimacy ever again; he feared the desires of the flesh...

Is there such a useless lover in this world?

After all, his Lord cultivates the Path of Detachment...

The more Yue Wu Huan thought about it, the more desperate he felt.

Last night, it was the emotions revealed in his flute music that triggered his Lord's sentiments, leading to that sweetest kiss. He could not allow himself to indulge anymore; he was not worthy of such pure emotions and would only push his beloved into the abyss of suffering.

"Wuhuan?" Seeing his silence, Song Qingshi asked again, "What are you thinking?"

I love you, but please don't love me back...

Resolved, Yue Wuhuan slowly lifted his head and smiled. He swept back the locks of hair that had fallen beside his ears, his captivating phoenix eyes shimmering with alluring hues. Extending a teasing finger, he traced it along Song Qingshi's face and spoke with a brazen nonchalance, "Thoughts? My body belongs to you, my Lord. Whatever you wish me to do, I shall do..."

Song Qingshi was utterly stunned.

Perceiving his stiffness, Yue Wuhuan lightly traced a finger over his lips, capturing the essence of their shared breath. He withdrew his hand and lightly touched his own lips, his smile growing even more sugary, "Could it be, my Lord, that you are concerned about what happened last night? Isn't it common to act rashly when drunk?"

Fragmented memories of the drunken night were somewhat chaotic and incomplete.

Song Qingshi could generally remember that he had been the one to initiate. He strained to recollect, "I kissed you forcibly, and then—"

Suddenly, a sweet, moist kiss was planted on his lips once more.

Song Qing Shi stared at Yue Wu Huan in disbelief, his voice choked off, his mind a blank slate.

"Was it a forceful kiss like this?" Yue Wuhuan pulled away from his lips, grinning, and licked his own lips suggestively. "If you enjoy it, we can relish it every day. It's no big deal; I do enjoy this kind of game. You can have more if you wish."

Song Qingshi, never skilled with words, found himself utterly speechless in this situation.

He stood up abruptly, his mouth opening and closing as he attempted to explain. Eventually, he managed only a few syllables, "I, I am, not—"

Yue Wuhuan immediately reverted to his ascetic demeanor, stating coldly, "It seems I misunderstood."

He had warped love into desire, misconstruing kisses as mere play.

Now thoroughly bewildered, Song Qingshi had no experience to differentiate between the two. Yet he disliked what Yue Wuhuan had been suggesting; he didn't want their relationship to become like that.

Yue Wuhuan watched him intently and posed a counter-question, "My Lord, what are you thinking?"

Song Qingshi understood. Lowering his head, he said, "I won't drink anymore and will not make such foolish moves again."

Yue Wuhuan inquired once more, "My Lord, what do you think of Wuhuan?"

Song Qingshi whispered, "You are a disciple, a friend..."

Yue Wu Huan knew he had succeeded. He had altered this burgeoning affection, burying it once again in a place where it would never see the light of day.

He whispered an apology, "I'm sorry, I was presumptuous."

Song Qing Shi shook his head, "It's okay; you have the freedom to be presumptuous."

Yue Wu Huan was taken aback.

Song Qing Shi smiled and said, "You can be presumptuous in my heart, do whatever you wish."

"Don't make such promises lightly," Yue Wu Huan said, becoming a little unsettled as he avoided the piercing gaze, "I am not what you imagine me to be."

Song Qing Shi asked, "What is the real you like, then?"

Yue Wu Huan clamped his mouth shut.

Chaotic, mad, evil, obsessive, filthy...

Unscrupulous, terrifyingly greedy, desiring even the unattainable to be his and his alone...

Yue Wu Huan felt his thoughts multiplying, becoming more and more chaotic; his thinking began to spiral out of control, growing increasingly bizarre.

Seizing the last vestiges of his sanity, he hurriedly got up, found a random excuse, and fled in disarray.

Left alone in the room, Song Qing Shi softly said after a long silence, "Whatever you're like, I love you."

　...

After all the messy occurrences, neither of them was in the mood for leisure activities.

The best course of action for dealing with the poison of the parasitic insects afflicting Yue Wu Huan would be to return to the Medicine King Valley for thorough treatment. Therefore, he lay in bed, ate the "love noodles" prepared by Song Qing Shi, and watched as Song Qing Shi bustled about, packing their luggage, procuring medicinal herbs, and then making a reservation at the Celestial Beast Gate for a magic ship to take them back to Medicine King Valley.

Noodles made by the Master always had a consistent flavor; they tasted exactly the same every time...

As Yue Wu Huan sipped the noodle soup, he glanced at the account book, considering that the price of the "Crow's Head Flower" could be haggled down by another 20%.

Song Qing Shi looked exceedingly pleased with himself, as if to demonstrate that he was fully capable of taking care of others. He wasn't some incompetent individual who would be useless without his do-it-all secretary.

Yue Wu Huan quickly swallowed his words and smiled, "The Master is doing an excellent job."

Song Qing Shi showcased his acquisitions, "I also bought little gifts for everyone."

The merchants in Nanhai City were masterful salespeople. Upon recognizing him as a cultivator, they advised that it was customary to bring gifts back to one's sect when traveling. Why revel in joy alone when you can spread it around?

Song Qing Shi thought that made sense...

He rarely ventured out and had no disciples. The villages near the Medicine King Valley had willingly pledged their allegiance to become part of his domain, offering their labor in exchange for his protection. He paid them wages, even rewarding them with medicinal pills, inadvertently resulting in the rise of several Foundation Establishment cultivators. It was a fortuitous situation.

Song Qing Shi felt rather pleased. Medicine King Valley was impeccably clean, and though the workers feared him, they were obedient.

Only when Yue Wu Huan took over management did he realize how chaotic things were. Corrupt managers embezzled wages, fights broke out regularly, private punishments were administered, and some even secretly sold medicinal herbs. Yue Wu Huan used bookkeeping and reasoned arguments to gently make Song Qing Shi aware of the valley's financial situation, causing him to realize how little wealth had been amassed over the years.

Song Qing Shi was deeply shaken...

After this realization, he was fully taken care of by Yue Wu Huan and no longer had to worry about anything.

He secretly reflected on his past actions and resolved to do better...

Yue Wu Huan had recruited many young apprentices for the Medicine King Valley. As the Valley Master, Song Qing Shi felt obligated to bring back gifts from his travels.

Fearing his judgment might be off, Song Qing Shi discreetly consulted Yue Wu Huan. Upon receiving affirmation, he confidently accepted the sales pitch and happily bought an array of flower-based pastries, porcelain dolls, wooden puppets, fabrics, and ordinary gemstones. Some were for personal use, and others would be distributed among the community.

He even spent some time in a pastry shop's kitchen, learning several dessert recipes to prepare for Yue Wu Huan.

Watching Song Qing Shi hustle and bustle, avoiding distressing matters, Yue Wu Huan felt somewhat relieved.

Song Qing Shi rushed over, holding a colorful kite of a beautiful lady. "Isn't this pretty? You should keep it."

Yue Wu Huan now understood his thought process. "The Luo Ying flowers on Xin Yi Mountain are about to bloom. Would the Master accompany me to fly this kite?"

Song Qing Shi was delighted, "You enjoy kite flying too? I've seen others do it, and it looks quite fun."

"I do," Yue Wu Huan said with a smile, taking the kite and examining the crude patterns, "This one isn't refined enough; let's give it to Qing Luan and the others. I'll make you a better one, one that comes with a whistle. When it soars in the sky, it will produce bird calls. It's been a long time since I've crafted such trinkets; I might be a little rusty..."

Song Qing Shi nodded earnestly, "Don't worry, if it fails, I'll use wind magic to carry it to the heavens! All the way up to the ninth sky."

Yue Wu Huan chuckled uncontrollably at the thought of the kite and the Master flying together in the sky.

Song Qing Shi didn't quite understand the joke but thought that laughter was always a good thing, so he joined in.

After a busy day of sorting out various matters, the two of them, laden with luggage, finally boarded the magical ship and flew toward home.

　...

Back in Medicine King Valley, Qing Luan had received their return message, tidying up the area in preparation for their arrival.

Song Qing Shi wasn't one for unnecessary formalities. First, he took Yue Wu Huan to his research chamber to re-examine his injuries, ensuring that the poison was subdued and that most of the pain had subsided before finally relaxing. Then, he went to his treasure vault to take out some pills specifically for stabilizing the Nascent Soul stage and consumed them all.

His Nascent Soul was marred with cracks, which he forcefully sealed with the "Cold Jade Technique" to slow down the rate of disintegration.

Having acknowledged his shortcomings as a healer, he was now able to confront the state of his Daoist heart.

Indeed, there were no shortcuts in life; the Path of Heartlessness allowed for easier focus in cultivation but also posed greater risks. He didn't want to consider how other cultivators on the same path managed such situations; to him, this was merely a problem he had incorrectly addressed.

His emotional landscape had once been a barren wasteland until that brilliant bird sketched colors onto it.

The collapse of his Daoist heart signified the stirring of emotions.

He understood the flavor of affection now, and it tasted quite delightful.

Song Qing Shi gently touched his lips and felt genuinely pleased. Ever since he left the secluded mountains to embark on the path of cultivation, he had been without a specific goal. Cultivation had always been simple for him, encountering virtually no bottlenecks. Therefore, he didn't quite understand the typical cultivator's struggles against fate and their arduous journey.

He had spent most of his time immersed in books and research, drifting aimlessly through the years and days. Though he had crossed paths with various people, none had left a significant imprint on his heart...

By the time he regained his senses, he found himself surrounded by nothing but the white clouds in the sky.

Such an existence held no meaning.

After thoughtful contemplation, he concluded the issue lay with himself. His heart was different from others, akin to a rock, unable to experience the vicissitudes of emotions. He had envied other people's love stories but could never feel affection himself, regardless of gender, appearance, stature, or character. He felt nothing for anyone.

Yue Wu Huan was like the most dazzling color, tearing through his heart, making a home there, and helping him realize he could indeed feel...

He was willing to give everything for such a feeling.

Although he was unsure of Yue Wu Huan's feelings toward him, he didn't care. The mere fact that he could love someone was the greatest blessing in itself. Even if he gave his all without any return, life would no longer be dull and meaningless.

Song Qing Shi cheerfully poked his own Nascent Soul, "Don't worry; we will meet again."

The pain in his Daoist heart was a sensation of joy; it was a new beginning.

He will correct his mistakes and move on the right path.

Medical students are known for their steady nerves; they don't easily panic.

The fear of obliterating his Daoist path is less terrifying than the complete eradication of his test subjects, especially when he can't pinpoint the root of the problem.

Now it's just a matter of revisiting familiar lessons and taking exams again.

Song Qing Shi takes out paper and pen, sorting through his knowledge base...

Foundation building expands the Dantian and lays the groundwork, then condenses the Golden Core, which eventually transforms into the Nascent Soul.

Destroying the Dao implies shattering the Nascent Soul, obliterating the Golden Core, and dropping back to the Foundation Building stage.

This test is not challenging; his current resources for cultivation exceed those he had in the past by hundreds of times. As the top apothecary in the celestial realm, he can make his own supplementary pills, create spirit-gathering formations, and lay down poison defense arrays. These are well-trodden paths for him. By keeping his condition a secret post-demise, retreating into seclusion, and focusing on cultivation, he can recover to the Golden Core stage in two to three decades and secure his own safety. Reaching the Nascent Soul stage would take another two to three centuries, but with a more suitable Daoist heart, he could gradually return to perfect completion.

There's no rush...

He still has a few matters that need to be thoroughly settled.

Thus, he first uses the "Cold Jade Technique" to slow down the rate at which his Nascent Soul is collapsing, while working in tandem with medicines and treatments to delay his path's destruction. He needs to refine the "Aqua Scatter" potion quickly, adding in medicinal baths and acupuncture treatments... if luck is on his side, he should be able to delay things for another two or three years.

Yue Wu Huan has already taken over all of Medicine King Valley's external affairs. Alchemy doesn't require much spiritual power, and both Mysterious and Dark Flames are still available. A few decades of seclusion wouldn't raise suspicion. He'll also look for magical techniques like the "Ocean Swallowing Technique" or the "Spirit Draining Demonic Skill" to pass his nearly obsolete spiritual power to Yue Wu Huan without wasting it, ideally elevating him to the Golden Core stage to increase the safety of Medicine King Valley.

After confirming his plan, Song Qing Shi pokes his Nascent Soul again, admonishing, "Hang in there a bit longer."

What he's most worried about is how to break the news to Yue Wu Huan...

Destroying a Heartless Daoist path is awkward no matter how you put it. If questioned how his Daoist heart was destroyed, the situation could easily be misunderstood as shifting the blame. Yue Wu Huan is submissive to him and might feel obliged to accept feelings he himself is not ready for, which Song Qing Shi doesn't want to see. How is he different from those despicable men who brandish knives at women, saying "love me or I'll die for you to see"?

Yue Wu Huan has serious emotional scars and is likely to react stressfully to any forced emotional confrontations.

He fully understands Yue Wu Huan's reasons for refusal and doesn't want to persist inappropriately. If Yue Wu Huan were to feel guilty upon learning of this, exacerbating his psychological issues, what then? It would be better to find another excuse, like losing a fight or a mishap during training that led to the destruction of his Daoist heart...

He's not good at lying and is easily exposed. Yue Wu Huan is smart; it would be hard to deceive him.

There's no way to keep this a secret...

Sitting on the floor of his treasure vault, Song Qing Shi agonizes over the matter for a long, long time.