Chapter 5: Hunted for His Holy Load

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of screaming.

Not mine, surprisingly.

Lan'er burst into my room, nearly kicking the door off its hinges. "Master! We have a problem!"

I sat up, groggy, sore, and spiritually blue-balled beyond human comprehension.

"Unless the sect is on fire or someone stole my porn manual, it can wait."

She threw a scroll at my chest. "Read this."

I unraveled it, still half-asleep.

> WANTED: Mysterious Male Cultivator Who Passed the Lust Trial Pagoda

Reward: 100,000 Spirit Stones — or One Night of Cultivation.

Description: Tall. Dumb face. Walks like he just survived a near-death nut. Rumored to have condensed a Pleasure Core of divine potency. Suspected to be in possession of the First Volume of the Pleasure Sutra. Target must be apprehended — preferably seduced.

I blinked.

"...This is me."

"No sh*t, Master."

I kept reading.

> Multiple sects are now mobilizing to find and milk—

"MILK?"

Lan'er nodded. "They want your Yang Qi."

"Why the hell would they want my—"

"You passed the Lust Trial. That means your… uh… release… contains spiritual properties. High-grade essence. It's like a heavenly elixir, Master. To them, your cum is worth more than pills."

I stared at the scroll. "So they're not gonna kill me."

"Oh no," she said. "They're gonna ride you to death."

Oh.

Oh no.

Before I could respond, the room darkened.

A soft giggle echoed through the windows.

I looked out and saw three women descending from the sky on flying swords.

All gorgeous. All dressed in tight, barely-there robes.

One wore a crimson battle bikini and had fire dancing in her eyes.

Another had jade skin and floated down on a giant lotus leaf.

The last one was an older woman in a sheer black robe, holding a long whip.

They landed in front of my courtyard.

The fire one stepped forward.

"Pleasure Sutra holder," she called out. "Come quietly, and we'll make your death… enjoyable."

The lotus girl followed. "We don't want to hurt you. Just… cultivate a little."

The MILF didn't say anything. She just licked her lips.

I slammed the window shut. "We gotta go. Now."

Lan'er threw me a robe. "Too late, Master. They've surrounded the sect. They're not the only ones coming. I've heard whispers. Even the Ten Thousand Lovers Pavilion is mobilizing. Their Matriarch declared: 'Whoever makes him burst first will be my next heir.'"

This was ridiculous.

I wasn't a man anymore. I was a walking cum tank.

And everyone wanted to drink from the source.

"Teleport array," I said, already gathering my things. "Get us out of here."

Lan'er grabbed the manual. "Where to?"

"Anywhere that doesn't have women with thirst-based cultivation techniques."

We made it five steps before a whip coiled around my ankle.

The MILF was already inside the courtyard. "Don't run, little thing. Let Mommy teach you the Dao of the Thigh Clamp."

Lan'er flung a talisman. It exploded, pushing the woman back with a flash of light.

We ran.

Down the side stairs. Through the bamboo grove. Past the fish pond I pissed in two weeks ago.

Suddenly, the fire girl landed in front of us, sword raised.

"You think you can run from me?" she hissed. "I've waited years for a man like you to appear. You're mine."

"I'm not a vending machine," I shouted. "You can't just insert a coin and get free essence!"

She slashed at me.

I dodged, barely.

Lan'er threw another talisman. It missed.

A figure flew down from the sky — the lotus girl — arms spread wide. "Let's just talk! Maybe touch tips! I'll be gentle!"

I activated the escape array under the old peach tree.

Light swallowed us.

But not before I heard the MILF whisper, "Run all you like, baby boy. We'll find you. And we'll make you sing."

---

We reappeared deep in a mountain cave.

I collapsed against the wall, drenched in sweat.

"That was too close."

Lan'er sat across from me, panting. "They really want your load, huh."

"No kidding."

"...So what now?"

I looked at the scroll again. It was everywhere now.

My face. My semen. A damn bounty.

I was too nuttable for this world.

"There's only one option," I said.

She raised an eyebrow.

"I have to get stronger."

"Obviously. But how?"

I took out the Pleasure Sutra.

It pulsed with divine energy. Even the cover looked lewd.

"The next volume is hidden in the Floating Cherry Blossom Brothel Sect. But it's guarded by the Seven Sisters of Release."

"And they're—?"

"...Each one specializes in a unique orgasm technique."

Lan'er winced. "You go in weak, you're not coming out."

"Which is why I'm not gonna go in weak." I stood up, eyes blazing.

"I'm gonna train. Edge harder. Goon deeper. Cultivate the Dao of Denial until even the goddess of lust herself can't make me squirt."

Lan'er nodded slowly. "You're insane."

"I'm determined."

She handed me a bottle.

"What's this?"

"Frozen Spirit Milk. Lowers your yang output temporarily. Might help you last longer in training."

I drank it in one gulp.

Cool. Tingly. My balls calmed slightly.

Then I opened the Sutra and began meditating.

Pleasure Breathing. Edging Positions. Mindful Stimulation Without Release.

I would master them all.

Because I wasn't just a man anymore.

I was a target.

A weapon.

A nutless cultivator on the run.

And I was gonna survive.