“Red and Yellow Go Public”

Alt title: This Is Not a Buddy Comedy (It Totally Is)

Deadpool kicked the glass door open like a guy who just finished his last final exam and didn't care if the building burned down.

"Let's go, claw-daddy. We've been medically cleared, morally questioned, and spiritually broken."

Wolverine followed him, slowly, adjusting his jacket.Still shirtless. Still streaked with drying blood.

"You keep calling me that, I start swinging again," Logan muttered.

Deadpool spun, walking backward down the hallway.

"Oh come on, you love it. You love me. You're just too emotionally constipated to say it."

Wolverine raised a claw half an inch. Deadpool immediately turned around.

"Alright, alright. Boundaries."

As they stepped outside into the open night air, Deadpool pulled up his Nexus window mid-walk — fingers swiping, eyes flicking.

[NEXUS STATUS WINDOW]

Name: Wade Wilson (Deadpool)Title: Shadow-DodgerLevel: 9Class: TricksterRace: Multiversal OutsiderHP: 999,999+MP: 480Strength: 180Agility: 160Vitality: ∞Intelligence: 63Luck: -120Unassigned Stats: 0

Skills:– Regeneration (SSS, Passive)– Taunt (Lv. 3)– Fourth Wall Break (Lv. 2)– Blade Mastery (Lv. 2)– Multiversal Instinct (Lv. 1)– Battle Sense (Lv. 1)

Inventory:– Vibranium Katanas x2– Mystery Katana [Uncommon]– 4 Healing Potions– 1 Juice Box– Regret (Immovable, Bound Item)

Deadpool chuckled to himself.

"Still can't believe they quantified regret as an inventory item. That's comedy."

Wolverine glanced over.

"You've been waving your fingers around in the air for a full minute. You having a seizure or a mental breakdown?"

Deadpool looked over, mock offended.

"This is my system, okay? You wouldn't understand. You're like an old Nokia phone trying to connect to Wi-Fi."

Logan lit a cigar with a shrug.

"Keep talking to your invisible floating menu, Wade. The day I start hearing voices too, I'm cutting someone."

A public screen mounted on the nearby building lit up.

LIVE NEWS BROADCAST.Breaking: The Red Man and Yellow Beast Identified

Deadpool turned to watch as footage played from yesterday's spar — the blood, the smoke, the chaos. Then a freeze-frame of him flipping through the air with dual katanas.

"—has now been confirmed. The unknown red-suited individual is officially designated by the Association as Deadpool, a new S-Rank Hunter.And his... companion, referred to as the 'yellow beast,' has now been given the provisional alias: Wolverine."

The screen split: Deadpool posing like a bloody ballerina in freeze-frame, and Wolverine mid-roar with claws out, looking like a mid-boss from hell.

Logan's eye twitched.

"I'm your what now?"

Deadpool doubled over laughing.

"They called you my companion. That's incredible. I'm the main character!"

Logan didn't move. "One more word—"

Deadpool raised a finger. "You're my Pikachu now. Say hi to the fans, buddy."

Wolverine's claws SNIKTed out halfway.

Deadpool backed up instantly.

"Okay, okay, you're the emotionally damaged deuteragonist. Happy?"

Logan grumbled. "They made me your sidekick."

"You are my sidekick," Deadpool grinned. "C'mon, it's in the script."

He turned toward the camera above them and waved.

"Thanks for finally getting my name right, Korea. Took long enough."