Ch 1 Me

"Life... Is a curse we celebrate, and death is the mercy we mourn to," I once heard those words... Somewhere, a long time ago, so long ago. Maybe it was in a book, or something I overheard a long time ago.

Funny thing is, I'm just turning sixteen today, not exactly the age for deep, depressing thoughts like that, right? But still... it stuck and today, for some reason, it just kept playing in my head.

It's supposed to be a special day, I guess, birthdays however, I was in no mood to celebrate, just yet that is.

Why? it's because there were some other matters, some other much more important matters which I needs to attend.

"You look good in black," said the person beside me as I chuckled, trying to appear normal but it still sounded filled with grief and sadness.

"Let's go," I said as I door in front of us was metallic, automated door, as it opened on it's on when I stepped near it and then shut behind me just the same.

Outside, two little kids were waiting there, as they turned to look at me when I walked out. They couldn't have been more than nine or ten, dressed neatly, standing still as the turned and watched me.

A boy and a girl, both dressed neatly, a little stiff in the shoulders like they didn't know how to stand in clothes like that.

Both of them had blonde hair, the soft kind that shone a little under the light, and eyes so blue they reminded me of summer skies. Just like our mother.

I was the odd one out, I guess... black hair, dark eyes, ore like our father while they resemble our mother.

They are my little siblings, Rin and Lala, both 9 year old, and twins with both being 7 years younger than me.

Rin being the big brother among the two and is a few hours older than Lala, who is youngest among us all.

Rin stood slightly ahead with Lala close behind him, quiet, and her hands folded in front of her dress, her fingers fidgeting just slightly.

"You both look excellent," I said with a smile and reached out to pat their heads, while they shifted a bit uncomfortably under my touch, trying thier best not to push me away.

'They hate you,' The voice in my head said again, taunting me with same calm, cold voice, like it was just stating a fact... A truth I was already aware of as I just signed listening to it and shook my head.

"I know," I whispered back quietly and still… a smile crept onto my face, ot the happy kind but the kind that hides something, sadness maybe?

After all, it would be weird if they didn't ended up hating me what I did, of course they would hate me. How could they not, after everything? After the way we grew up? In a house like that?

Kids are easy to sway, they belive too easily , trust too easily, it's easy to mold them in any way to want them to, easy to manipulate thier thoughts and emotions... easy enough to make them hate someone.

"But… so be it," I said, out loud this time, almost like I was trying to convince myself that it didn't matter, maybe it does? Maybe it didn't? But at the end of the day, I still love them and that has to be enough.

After all, so what if they hate me? Detest me? Even if they look at me with silence instead of warmth, even if they flinch when I get too close, even if they think I'm the villain in all this.

It doesn't really matter because in the end, they are my siblings and I...

I am thier big brother... It is my duty to keep them safe in this world now that thier parents ain't here anymore.

I glanced down at my e-watch, checking the time, "We should go," I said, this time loud enough for them to hear.

"It's almost time," I said, with a weird smile and a chuckle, and continued, "Can't be late to our parents' funeral now, right?" Neither of them said anything.

They just nodded and started walking as I stood there for a second longer, watching them and soon followed after.

That's right, today is a special day, it is the funeral... the funeral of thier parents, of my parents... Of Our Parents.

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.

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The atmosphere, it wasn't what one would expect at a funeral, there was no gloomy atmosphere usually seen in movies, no dark clouds in the sky pouring rain, no violin playing in the background filling the air with grief and any other such dark themed scenes...

And that was on purpose.

I didn't want it to be that way. I planned it differently. I wanted it to feel warm... bright even. And these days, funerals can be anything you want, as long as you're willing to pay the price, though they are hella costly.

So here we were, as if someone walked in without knowing, they'd probably mistake it for a garden party or maybe a casual reunion of old friends.

There were tables set up under the open sky, where the sun shone gently through the leaves. The clouds above drifted slow and soft, birds cutting across now and then like they had nothing to do with any of this.

People were standing in little groups, laughing, chatting, catching up. Some were sipping drinks. Others were trying little bites of food from a long buffet table like they were at a wedding reception.

The scent of roasted meat, sweets, and brewed tea filled the air, intertwining oddly with the scent of fresh cut grass and blooming flowers.

People mostly gathered at good counters as it's only at funeral house that everyone get to eat these delicies.

Children were play tag between fake gravestones, playing around with flowers and memorial stones as if death was just another excuse to celebrate life... Partially what have become of this world over the last century and half.

The atmosphere was, noble like, too picture perfect to be true, which it's not as I know that it's all fake, from the sky, ground to even these people.

As for me? I sat on a wooden bench, slightly tilted due to uneven ground, beneath the shade of an old tree at the far edge of the cemetery, alone as I watch it all from a distance with a sigh.

A plate of food had been left on the bench beside me... However it remains untouched, yet.

"Joyful, isn't it?" said a man walking by, lifting his glass in a casual toast. "Your parents would've liked this." he said as he sat beside me, he was uncle John, also my father's supposed bestfriend.

I didn't answer him though, just gave a nod and turned my gaze back to the crowd and then at the centre, where a group of workers finished digging up the graves as they settled my parents body in them.

No one paid any special attention to it tho, like it was just another part of the day's schedule, the laughter didn't stop nor the clinking of glasses.

Except for Rin and Lala, who stood nearby, held loosely by two of the workers, kept at a careful distance... The workers were efficient, I'll give them that.

Now and then, someone from the gathering would walk up to the twins, offering candy or a pat on the shoulder, followed by a few soft-spoken condolences but the kids barely reacted.

They just stared, frozen maybe trying to understand what's happening or maybe not trying at all.

I sighed and kept looking, as they finished setting up the stones.

The gravestones looked new, and polished, but they probably weren't, my parents names written on them in silver letters,

"In Loving Memory of Arlen and Serah, beloved by many, mourned by few."

I let that irony sink in of, "beloved by many, mourned by few"... Loved? I don't know but mouned? Few of course because the truth was, people didn't come to mourn, tey came to network, to eat and to pretend they cared.

But do they really? Because what I see here is, it isn't grief... All this felt like it's a stage, and everyone here was an actor in bright clothes and plastic smiles.

Closed my eyes, I leaned back slightly and, "Happy birthday, Aura," I muttered under my breath, just loud enough for myself to hear.

Then came that voice again. Whispering in my mind like it always do, "You don't belong here." It said in my mind as I smirked slightly without opening my eyes.

"I know," I said back to in my mind, "Aand neither do they." I said as I opened my eyes again and looked around at the crowd, at the people laughing and chatting like this was nothing more than a weekend gathering.

I hadn't come here to cry over my parents, not today. I came to watch, to see what people looked like when they thought they were hiding everything so well. Because eventually, the masks slip... like they always do.

And yes, I came to celebrate too. Strange as it sounds, this might be the best birthday I've had in years, if not the decade.

After all… I might just be the happiest person on earth right now. Because the truth is, the one who killed Arlen and Serah, my parents… was Me.