bedridden

Wind outside hits the dude's room, creating pressure and propping the door open. Dasch slithers in.

dude: is this who i think it is

dasch: who else

dude: could've been not you

dasch: but who

dude: are you here to suck the soul out of me, i'm a sick patient.

dasch: if you have any soul left, that would make sense

dude: see you are starting it again

dasch: chill, literally, you don't want your temperature to rise

dude: i think shutting your trap will actually do me good, would you mind?

dasch: i don't mind so i am just gona do what i gotta do.

dude: so what is the purpose of your visit.

dasch: none, i'm about to find out. i don't always have purpose when i'm going somewhere.

dude: i thought you were a creature of reason, no space for emotion or randomness.

dasch: once again, you do not get to define who i am. you barely scratch the surface of what i am.

dude: okay whatever it is. i think i got used to your human speech. how come you can't communicate with other family members. why do you have to unload your heap of unspoken words when they are absent?

dasch: i actually have no idea either. i have always been the way i have been. they don't seem to have the same antenna as you do.

dude: are you supposed to be some sort of radio station and I just pick up your frequency?

dasch: maybe that can be a possibility.

dude: but i don't know how to tune it so that you can shut up. sometimes, i just want quiet.

dasch: i don't know. that's dysfunction on your part. why don't you discuss it with your doctor.

dude: i think if i confess this phenomenon, i think they are gona cage me into a rehab.

dasch: don't you kinda miss it though.

dude: what do you mean.

dasch: don't pretend as if you haven't been there. i know you were stuck there for alcohol rehab. i thought you came out clean but shame on you. you started drinking again.

dude: i am moderating. you know if i'm too clean, it gets too sterile. there's gota be a good balance of corruption and cleanliness.

dasch: you sound like a professional advocate for alcoholism. what a great rationalization.

dude: i'm telling you. i'm just practicing moderation and balance. Like the Yin and Yang they call it. It's actually an art. Never overflowing yet never too shallow.

dasch: so you have a well where you pour alcohol in.

dude: sounds about right.

dasch: well, seeing that you got sick. isn't it telling that you failed at it?

dude: i may have made a little mistake.

dasch: it's dominating you again. the alcohol corporates are messing up your mind. you are being under their control.

dude: not quite yet. it's gona be recovered. so stop cursing me with all that corporate mindcontrol conspiracy.

dasch: i'm just suggesting. no need to get all serious and reactive. you know you probably don't wana just lie down their like a corpse.

dude: i know what i am doing. do you just like to watch me sick and make fun of me perhaps. do you take joy in my pain.

dasch: i'm not a sadist. i do have empathy. how dare you accuse me of devilishness.

dude: just remember last time you bit the crap out of me and made all the fuss. freaking ball bouncing kid upstairs came down to check up on me. you were ready to tear me apart.

dasch: well you locked me up for hours as your cellmate. how come all of sudden, you want to kick me out so badly.

dude: i don't know it all depends on situation. then and now are different.

dasch: is there anything that's consistent in your life.

dude: well, you are my consistent polar opposite.

dasch: no wonder i am to come here since polar opposites attract each other.

dude: that's not what physics is about. what you are doing is pseudoscience.

dasch: well i thought you were the one who came up with the radio frequency theory about our ability to communicate.

dude: once again, only if i can tune out your radio station.

dasch: it's not my fault. i never meant to even start one. it doesn't even generate revenue.

dude: if it did, you need to pay me well because i would be equivalent of a guest and you a host.

dasch: i can actually imagine it becoming viral among daschund owners all over the world.

dude: you never run out of business ideas. only if any of it bears a fruit.

dasch: well, you have always been a critique of my ideas. you do your best to shoot down all entreprenuership.

dude: you know what. we don't need anymore startups or innovation. we already have enough. let's not add any extra.

dasch: you are like the gravedigger of all startups. you should never be a venture capitalist.

dude: i'm just being a realist. business models gotta make sense. otherwise it's just a mess and disaster. time and money wasted.

dasch: well, i'm not sure you are qualified to give such advice to any. have you succeeded with any of your own ideas?

dude: i have had my endeavors. yes.

dasch: but did you succeed though.

dude: i mean they all came to a halt.

dasch: so they are dead now.

dude: no, they are in progress just like i am taking a break lying on bed.

dasch: how long have they been halted?

dude: I can't remember right now.

dasch: time immemorable. in other words, they are no longer operating.

dude: i don't know. i'm taking a break. i'm telling you. i am waiting for the right timing so that they are ready to soar when it's here.

dasch: what are they even about?

dude: it's a confidential. it's in stealth mode.

dasch: i won't give away. remember, i can't communicate with others.

dude: i think you will jynx it.

dasch: come on. at least some glimpse of it.

dude: not today. time is not ripe yet. i can't risk it yet.

dasch: im telling you ideas are cheap.

dude: it's not just any ideas. you have no idea. just watch me turn into bilionaire.

dasch: i think you watched too many Youtube videos about rich people.

dude: actually it's the opposite, i never watch any of it. the more I watch it, the more influenced i become and therefore, more distant from being on a course to become billionaire.

dasch: but don't you first have to be a millionaire before being a billionaire?

dude: milionaire is nothing to be aimed. the aim is too low that i just don't consider it as my goal.

dasch: you know, i don't think millionaires drink so many beers like you.

dude: well, not until me. i am the new model. beers are essential to becoming a billionaire. Mind you, i'm trying to be a billionaire, not millionaire.

dasch: i think it will be faster if you aim to drink million beers.

dude: shut up. see? you are jynxing me.

dasch: just being a realist like you. i think your business model has a critical flaw which is your beer drinking. it's leaking all the capital.

dude: oh my gosh just shut up!!!!!

dasch: anyways, good luck with that agenda, i think i gotta take a dump. i had jerky this morning. see ya.

dude: thanks finally.

Dasch exits. Door left open.

dude: shut the door if you have common sense?

dasch: i'm pooping stop talking to me. deng it. i had to cut it short.

dude: ...go.... you....

Dude puts on a blind and goes to sleep.