Ahem.*
Zhang Xiaowen knocked again, rejecting Magic Cube's missile-assisted entry proposal.
*Bang! Bang! Bang!*
The rhythmic pounding paused the couple's balcony performance—until they doubled down, shouting lewd taunts at the zombie hordes below. Five minutes of cringing later, their finale echoed across the cityscape.
"Darling, the zombies are knocking~" the woman purred post-coitus.
"Let 'em! Jealous bastards!"
Zhang Xiaowen's patience snapped. "Evacuation offer. Safe camp. Last chance."
The door cracked open to reveal a paunchy man in silk pajamas. "Military? Finally!"
The couple bombarded her with inane questions: "When's Wall Street reopening?" "Does camp have 5G?"
Magic Cube's circuits sizzled with contempt. These parasites—their daughter studying abroad, their noses perpetually tilted at "peasant" survival—reeked of delusion.
You want us to *farm*? Like… dirt people?" The woman recoiled as if offered sewage.
"Stay here then. Rot." Zhang Xiaowen turned to leave.
The man lunged. "Play soldier girl with me fi—"
*BANG!* Glass exploded as her bullet grazed his ear. Urine pooled at his feet.
"Next time," she hissed, "I'll carve 'traitor' on your tombstone."
Magic Cube revved its engine in approval as they departed. Some humans, it concluded, deserved their apocalypse.