She Smelled Like Pain

"Vincent,I don't feel so good," zaara murmured.

Her face had gone pale, almost ghost-like under the dim lights in the room as her hand pressed against her stomach like she was trying to hold herself together. "I've been feeling dizzy and lightheaded ever since what happened to Piper… that whole scene, it won't leave my head." She paused, then suddenly stood. "I think I'm gonna—"

She tried to stand but staggered forward. Before I could react, she bolted from the bed and ran toward the restroom.

"Zaara—" I called out and rushed after her.

The second we got there, she dropped to her knees in front of the toilet and started vomiting.

"Shit," I rushed in behind her, pulling her hair back before it could fall into the mess. I held it up, her body trembled as she threw up again, and again.

I should've been disgusted. The sour stench of vomit, the choking sound, maybe I would've been. But after everything we'd seen, after watching Piper die in the most horrifying, cruel way imaginable, there wasn't much left in me that could be disgusted. Not anymore.

Zaara coughed, trembling, and leaned against the wall like her whole body was giving up.

"I just wanted to find my brother," Zaara choked out between sobs. She was shaking uncontrollably now, collapsing to the cold tile floor as tears spilled from her eyes.

"Everything will be okay, Zaara," I whispered, kneeling beside her. My voice wasn't steady either, but I had to be strong for her. "We'll figure this out. I promise. We'll find a way to get out of this shit hole."

"For seven years I kept hoping," she cried. "Seven goddamn years I thought he was alive somewhere, just lost. I've been studying how to get in the game, to find clues on how to find him. What if he was one of them, one of the people who didn't make it. Just like Piper. Just like the others."

Then she gagged again and threw up all over herself down her shirt, on her arms. I flinched instinctively, but I didn't back away. I reached for some tissue from the sink shelf, trying to clean her up the best I could.

"Zaara, please… try to breathe. Just calm down, okay? I've got you," I kept repeating, rubbing her back, brushing strands of hair off her damp face.

When I touched her forehead, my heart sank, she was burning up. She had a fever, and a bad one..

I had no clue what I was supposed to do. I'd never taken care of someone who was sick before, but I knew she couldn't stay like this. Not in those soaked, vomit-covered clothes. Not while burning up.

"Okay," I said gently, helping her to her feet, "we need to get you out of those clothes first, then we'll figure something out, alright?"

She didn't say anything, but she didn't fight me either. Her body leaned into mine. She felt fragile in my arms, like something the world had already tried too hard to break.

And in that moment, I couldn't stop the rush in my chest. My heart was pounding, hard and fast. Why the hell did I care this much?

I'd met a lot of girls, way too many to count and not once had I ever felt this. Not this ache, this constant worry, this need to shield someone from everything. None of them ever got under my skin the way she did. With Zaara, it was different. It was... deeper. Messier. Real.

She made me anxious when she wasn't okay. She made me want to fight when she looked scared. I wanted her safe. But why?

It's more than just attraction. Was it her softness? The quiet sadness she carried? The gentleness in her face? Or the way her eyes and vulnerability reminded me of someone I failed to protect.

My mom.

Zaara's teary face mirrored the last image I had of my mom. That same helpless look, like she knew she was slipping away and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Maybe that was it… Maybe this was karma or was this guilt? Or fate? Some kind of karmic loop pulling me back to a choice I couldn't fix the first time?

I didn't know. All I knew was that I couldn't walk away.

"Zaara," I said softly, "do you think you can clean yourself up? Or should I call someone? Maybe Asha? There's probably someone still awake."

I gently started to pull away, but before I could step out, her warm hands grabbed my arm. Then, she wrapped her arms around my waist.

She pressed her face into my back and mumbled, "Please… don't go."

"Zaara…." I froze. Her body was still damp from earlier, and the smell of vomit, omggg. Part of me flinched instinctively, but the other part, the part that cared too damn much stayed still.

"Don't leave me again," she whispered."Please don't leave me again, I don't want to be alone."

It was like she wasn't just talking about tonight. Like she'd been left before. Too many times.

I waited a moment longer before slowly turning around.

"You need to clean up," I said quietly. "Let me just get a girl to help….."

And then I froze.

She had unzipped the top of her jumpsuit halfway, revealing too much skin, her cleavage were exposed. Her hands trembled at her sides, her eyes still closed, her face red from fever and tears. She wasn't doing it for attention…..she looked too tired, too sick, too broken.

"Holy shit…..Zaara….." I said quickly, as I stepped forward to zip her jumpsuit back up. I locked the restroom door behind me just in case anyone came in.

"Omg listen, you're not okay right now," I told her gently, meeting her eyes. "Don't do this. You need to rest, to feel better. Let me call someone, okay? Someone who's not... me."

She opened her eyes slowly,her eyes was teary and she was half-lost in the fever. "No please. Clean me up… please. Don't leave me. I just want someone I trust."

My throat tightened.

She wasn't thinking straight. Her body was feverish, her emotions were heightened. This was her reaching out probably not be left alone again. And even though she said she trusted me, I wasn't sure if I trusted myself in this moment.

Still… I nodded slowly.

"Okay," I said quietly. "But only because you asked."

Then I moved carefully, treating her like glass, because right now, that's exactly what she was.