Chapter four, Assessment

I'm four years old now, I'm small but I can do whatever I wish to without much push back from my body, which is a blessing uncounted for by many. I've been practising and learning like a mad man . . . Mad woman, sorry, if they wanted the perfect concubine so bad, I'll give it to them for my mothers' sake. 

I stopped breastfeeding years ago, but Nerea is still here. Normally, she would be moved on. There are many babies in court and out of it that could use a good wet nurse. But Nerea would be of no use to them now, it seems she stopped producing when I stopped needing.

Palace life is cutthroat; by all rights, she should've been sold off... Or perhaps dumped on some dirt road somewhere. But my mother somehow managed to sort it out . . . Something about Nerea being the perfect teacher for me.

Debatable

My mother is quite smart and resourceful when she wants to be, but she's not in a position of power; it's the complete opposite. But in the end, she usually gets what she wants one way or another . . . And she wanted Nerea to stay by her side, they have grown close over the years... particularly close actually, but that's between them. 

I am happy for them . . .

They are the only people I have ever loved... or at least I think I love them. I'm not one hundred percent sure what love is. But I feel a strong urge to protect them, and that's good enough for now. That's why I try so hard in my lessons, I have no selfish desires of my own, I never have. My only desire is to see them safe. And to do that, If I have to become the perfect concubine. 

So be it . . .

I am considered a genius now apparently, I have started to train my body in the ways of my past life, I have placed myself on a strict diet, I eat more than the other candidates – which I know thanks to the despair felt by the ladies in waiting around me anytime I eat – But I know how to build towards the perfect body thanks to the advanced medical sciences of my old world, I need strength, but I need to be more subtle than in my past life. I need to retain a high level of feminine beauty to stand a chance in this place. 

They complained incessantly until I started getting the results I wished for. 

Academically, I am ahead as well. It makes sense for the most part, I already knew a lot of the stuff they were trying to teach me, you could think of it as cheating, but I don't care. But there were things I didn't know, mostly about this world and its systems, culture and military. Currently, I live in the kingdom of Ekaina. 

Which translates to the kingdom of Eki -(sun), Gaina- (on top), so it could be read as Sun on top. 

Ekaina was a country that sat on the edge of the continent of Eguzkiaren Azpian – Under the sun – A powerful country of considerable strength and wealth, though that claim does need to be taken with a pinch of salt, considering it's their books that I learnt this from. There are many other countries, some consisting of other races, but from what I can tell, there seems to be relative peace between them currently. 

I still have a lot to learn. . .

The most interesting thing I have learnt from my perspective is that cavalry is still a valid form of raging warfare here. Maybe it was to be expected with the lack of technology in this world, but with the prevalence of magia, I had assumed them obsolete. It seems magic has a more similar effect to muskets than machine guns in this world. It's the most powerful form of combat, but the talent or lack thereof, for most people, still makes the speed and power of the horse a valuable weapon. 

Magia is powerful, but it can be overcome with tactics and timing; this is valuable knowledge indeed. 

Well, there is an exception to this rule, War Breakers - a class of mages so powerful that their presence on the battlefield alone is enough to break the enemy's lines and essentially win the battle or even the entire war by themselves. The power and speed of their casting leave no gaps for us mere mortals. 

Yes, I said us . . . 

This is because when it comes to magia... I am passable, I can do the basic stuff now, basically meaning I don't cover the whole room in ice every time I try to conjure anymore. But I am still far behind the other girls who, from what I hear from the ladies' gossip sessions as they wallow in anxiety at my potential failure… are all generational mages in their own right, it just doesn't come naturally to me. I continue to work on it, conjuring poor man's roses over and over until I can barely stand, but it doesn't help much. It just isn't one of those things you can force with sheer will. So, for now, I'm always playing catch-up. 

There is no doubt I am at a massive disadvantage due to this . . . The only thing for me to do is to take that disadvantage and turn it into an advantage. 

My mother has me dressed in my best clothes, that's because the matron is coming to visit me today. The matron is the woman who is to teach all the potential candidates in the ways of royal life and everything else that being the prince's concubine will entail. 

I felt like there was more to it than that, especially after I had heard my mother talk about an Emerald Empress, but both she and Nerea refused to expand further when I asked. 

I had done a lot of work leading up to today to make sure I was in the perfect shape for when the matron arrived. I wasn't allowed to be a gram overweight, which I felt was a lot of pressure to put on a four-year-old, but I had experienced a lot worse in my past life, so I wasn't going to complain too much. 

But my legs were killing me, to be honest. . .

"Ama uppies!" Don't judge me, my mother picked me up with that glowing smile of hers, Ama meant mum in Euskara, so I assumed, since it wasn't English, that I was calling her Mum in elvish, which always seemed to make her happy.

Weight off my feet....Bliss.

Nerea was here too, she wasn't talking to me currently because I spilt sauce down her favourite dress robe. I suppose she didn't have anything nice to say with my mother around and decided on a silent approach. 

Sorry . . .

A four-year-old's body is a lot better when compared to that of an infant, but my hands are still very small; it was harder to grip things than I was used to in my past life. At this age in my past life, I had already gripped the felt handles of curved daggers, which I was to use to kill my very first target . . . In my current life, I'm worried if my hair is as perfect as it was the last time I looked in the mirror. 

I never thought I would care about stupid stuff like that . . . Even if it is forced. 

 Well, I didn't have time to check, as the matron walked into my own little open-spaced white palace. She was the oldest woman I had met in this world, which wasn't so impressive considering Nerea and Mother are the oldest on that list. Nerea slightly beating out my mother at twenty-seven. The Matron was a wide-set woman with grey hair pulled tightly back into a ponytail, her eyes were sharper than any daggers I had used. They could put fear into any heart they glanced upon. She must have been powerful and respected throughout the palace, for this is the condition a woman must have to be here, without having to worry about having the perfect body. 

Honestly, I was a little jealous of her freedom . . .

"This is the girl in question, I assume?" Her voice was raspy and gravelly, as if an old lioness tried to roar one too many times. "Yes, this is Ruža" My mother responded for me. I wasn't to speak unless spoken to when dealing with people outside of our home. Easy enough, I could hold my tongue; I did that enough in my old life. Talking back there got you beaten to an inch of your life. 

It took me a while to learn that lesson . . .

My mother put me down, and the matron ordered that I strip . . . Should've guessed. She probably already knew everything about my academic and magia studies. She was here to see if I was "good enough" to move on to the next part of the selection . . . This will probably happen a couple of times at our different stages of development to make sure nobody imperfect slips through to the prince.

Spoilt prick

The measure was made of metal and was cold on my bare skin, she didn't speak much; I guess I wasn't worth it. When she had finished, the metal measure caught on my skin, leaving a cut on my arm. "Sorry" The matron said with a sickly-sweet smile on her face, but I wasn't your ordinary 4-year-old girl . . . I knew she did it on purpose . . . A test? Someone with this experience should know not to damage the royal goods.

I couldn't read her at all . . . I decided not to react. 

Nerea decided to react for me. "Careful" Her tone was full of warning. Those were the first words I had heard her say the whole day. I was grateful. My mother didn't speak, but she placed her hands on my shoulders. I looked up at her, she had a calm smile on her comely face, but I could feel her hands shaking as I felt the blood drip down my arm. 

The matron addressed me directly, "Well done, you passed, top marks for the fitness test... Best I've ever seen" 

Fitness my arse . . .

She hovered her hand over my arm, a green glow emitted from her, and my arm healed instantly. "Don't worry, I never leave a scar, not all healers are as skilled" 

"You are the perfect candidate, Ruža . . . If it wasn't for your defective magia, this race would've already closed" Her face was still full of that sickly smile. 

I retained composure, but a large part of me wanted to kill her... a bad habit of mine. 

The matron stood up to leave "I expect to see you at your lessons, little Ruža" She turned and walked away from me without a care for my mother's ever clearer bloodlust.

 "The first is next week . . . don't be late" The matron left with a final warning, "It doesn't do any girl any good to be tardy in the palace Ruža"

"Remember that"