Is This Schizophrenia?
Attention! Wandering soul detected!
Physical shell absent...
Initiating creation of new body based on soul imprint!
Readiness status — 1%.
Readiness status — 2%.
...
...
Readiness status — 100%.
Body creation complete.
Strange notifications were flashing before my eyes. What's happening? Why am I hearing some female voice? And these messages... Is this schizophrenia?
Initiating rating calculation!
Error...
Rating not determined.
Attempting recalculation!
Error...
Searching for alternative paths...
Initiating protocol for assigning new rating!
New rating — @#$%^&*!!!
Error...
Displaying new rating in simplified form!
New rating — 0.
Oh, I've been assigned a new rating. Is zero a lot or a little? Although wait, in our neighborhood, zeros were usually only called losers.
Uh, what the hell?! Schizo, why do I have a zero rating? That's completely humiliating, walking around with such a number in front of the guys... I tried to somehow swipe away these nasty letters that kept appearing and appearing before my eyes, but my body wouldn't move for some reason, as if someone had tied me up.
Negative distortions detected...
Initiating compensation protocol!
Generating new ability equivalent to the damage received...
41234... 544555546... 3454...
Unique skill generated — "Spendthrift"!
Description:
User can increase skill levels for money.
Issuing welcome bonus.
There was a sound of falling coins.
100,000 crowns credited to system account!
New user initiation process complete.
Wandering soul, good luck in the new world!
The invisible ropes binding my arms and legs disappeared. Bodily sensations returned. A light breeze stirred the hair on my arms, the smell of grass invigorated with its freshness. Somewhere above, foliage rustled, and crickets chirped from the side.
I opened my eyes and found myself standing in the evening half-darkness in the middle of a huge field. Nearby towered an oak tree of enormous size, and in the distance, the lights of a small town flickered.
What time is it now? The sun hadn't yet disappeared below the horizon, but the moon was already visible in the sky. Probably around eight or nine o'clock.
Damn! I suddenly remembered. Nicky and I were supposed to make it to the meeting with Rotten. The guys have probably been beaten up without me...
Then I remembered that on the way in the park, I saved the kid. Invited his sister on a date. And then... And then the damn wheel fell on me... Did I die? But I'm alive!
I raised my hands to my eyes, rotated them. No changes. Even the scars on my knuckles from a dozen street fights were the same. Sweatshirt, jeans, all my clothes. There are no injuries on my body from the fallen attraction.
Somewhere to the side, in my peripheral vision, strange text appeared.
Name — Andrew
Rating — 0
Balance — 100,000 crowns
Unique skill — Spendthrift
The recent words from the inexplicable schizophrenia came back to memory. Something about a new body... And there was some kind of soul imprint too... So now I have the same body as before because it was simply copied from my past life?
Damn, I really did die... And now I'm in who knows where, plus voices in my head... Anger boiled up in my chest. Bubbled up.
I punched the tree with all my might. @#$%^&*! How will Nicky manage there without me? He definitely can't hold the street alone...
I hit the trunk hard again. And I didn't even hook up with the beauty... Didn't even get to write down her phone number. A sour taste of resentment was added to the anger in my chest. Damn...
Unable to contain myself, I hit again. The brown bark cracked and crumbled to the ground in small pieces.
Ding!
Suddenly a notification alert sounded in my head.
Conditions for obtaining skill met.
You have acquired a new skill — "Regular Strike"!
Regular Strike — level 1.
Description:
Any strike deals 1% more damage.
Damage boost depends on skill level.
Passive
Tip #1 for beginners:
Skill level increases with use.
The higher the skill level, the more times it needs to be used for the next increase.
While I was figuring out the new bunch of text that my schizophrenia had gifted me, the oak branches stirred. Someone was moving around up there. I looked up.
Do I have a leaky roof on top of schizophrenia, or what?
Three red bear faces were looking out from the leafy crown of the tree. Each had a pineapple in its mouth, which they had apparently stopped chewing out of surprise.
After playing a staring game for several seconds, this wonder-beast came into motion. A bear paw parted the foliage, revealing the whole figure. I pinched myself.
A three-headed, mother-loving bear! Like some kind of Cerberus! Or maybe I'm just lying in intensive care, and these are the dying hallucinations of my brain? I remember how Nicky got drunk once and started talking about something similar.
I was distracted from my thoughts by a drop of liquid that fell on my cheek. The bear had already chewed its pineapples, and thick greenish saliva was dripping from its mouth. Its eyes glowed terribly with red fire, and after loudly belching, the bear began to climb down the trunk, awkwardly moving its paws. I don't know if this is a dying hallucination or not, but I definitely didn't want to get acquainted with this mutant.
I turned around and ran away from the tree as fast as I could. Behind me came the sound of something heavy falling to the ground. Before I could rejoice, I immediately heard a dissatisfied growl and the trampling of paws. The bear was clearly unfazed by the fall and immediately chased after me.
I accelerated. Adrenaline instantly flowed through my veins. My heart began pounding wildly in my chest. I hadn't run this fast in a long time.
As if on purpose, there was only wilderness around, where I was unlikely to find help. The town loomed in the distance, and there were no secluded places to hide around.
The trampling of paws and growling were getting closer. I literally felt the breath of the hungry beast behind my back. A chill ran down my body. Damn it!
I looked back. I wish I hadn't. The bear had almost caught up and was already swinging its red paw, hoping to end my second life. The clawed limb was approaching me with threatening speed.
I twisted in some inhuman pirouette. My ligaments creaked unhappily, but the clawed threat passed by, within inches of my clothes.
Screw it! Here goes nothing!
Acting on instinct, I shot a counter to the left head's jaw. Followed up with a series of two more punches and a kick to the stomach. Unfortunately, the damn mutant didn't even feel it.
Instead of being knocked out, the bear stopped and stared at me in bewilderment with all three heads. Apparently wondering why the food suddenly decided to resist.
Our silent staring contest stretched for several seconds. I was catching my breath, and the bear was still standing in a stupor.
"Argh!" It seems the mutant had made some decision.
The beast's eyes blazed with furious flames more fiercely than before. It jumped in my direction.
Fortunately, I was expecting something like this and was ready. I easily slipped under the paw, made a feint, and ran in the opposite direction. While the clumsy bulk was fumbling around, turning, I had already fled a good five meters from it.
My brain was frantically figuring out what to do next. Running away wouldn't work. Hide?
Nowhere to hide.
The options for development were quite discouraging. Sooner or later, the beast would catch up to me again, and it wasn't certain that I'd be able to dodge again.
Suddenly, the words that I had envisioned at the very beginning popped into my memory. What was it? Spendthrift? And skills could be improved for money?
"Hey, Schizo! I want to improve Regular Strike!" I shouted, not stopping my run.
Strangely enough, the answer came instantly, and green letters lit up somewhere in the periphery of my vision.
How much would you like to spend on the improvement?
"All of it!" I immediately blurted out.
Your request has been accepted!
The sound of falling coins was heard. System messages flowed in an endless stream.
1000 crowns deducted from your account!
Skill "Regular Strike" increased to level 2!
1000 crowns deducted from your account!
Skill "Regular Strike" increased to level 3!
...
...
...
1000 crowns deducted from your account!
Skill "Regular Strike" increased to level 59!
This cursed schizophrenia was raising the skill by only one level at a time. Damn, can't it be faster? The bear is about to grab my ass, and the current skill level is clearly not enough to defeat the creature.
The trampling of paws behind my back was getting closer. With my last strength, I tried to speed up, gaining a few more moments.
...
1000 crowns deducted from your account!
Improvement made. Skill "Regular Strike" increased to level 100!
Attention! Skill "Regular Strike" has reached its maximum level.
Would you like to evolve it to the next stage?
The cost of skill evolution is 1000 crowns.
I glanced at the inscriptions and saw that regular strike at the current level gave a 100% strike enhancement. This clearly wouldn't be enough to take down the mutant.
"Do it," I almost yelled. There was no time left, and the bear was breathing down my neck again.
List of available skills to which "Regular Strike" can be improved:
1. "Speed Strike" (view skill description),
2. "Powerful Strike" (view skill description),
3. "Dirty Strike" (view skill description),
...
999. "Strike of a Millennium of Pain" (view skill description).
Which of the specified skills would you like to evolve to?
It is recommended to review the description of each skill before making a choice.
"Are you kidding me? When am I supposed to read all this?"
I stared in shock at the huge list of abilities. Sweat was seeping into my eyes. There was no time to think, and I shouted out the first thing I read.
"Speed Strike!"
Your request has been accepted.
The sound of falling coins.
1000 crowns deducted from your account!
Skill "Regular Strike" has evolved into "Speed Strike".
Speed Strike — level 1.
Description:
The speed of any strike is increased by 3%.
Any strike deals 200% more damage.
Damage and speed enhancement depends on skill level.
Passive
Stage - second
I turned my head slightly. The three-faced mutant with red skin had almost caught up to me. Fine! There's no point in running away anymore.
I stopped abruptly. The monster growled triumphantly and raised its clawed paw above its head. The threat was rapidly approaching. But I was faster.
I ducked under the furry limb. The paw swiftly passed over my back, and I was already standing in the creature's blind spot. The bear looked around in confusion, wondering where the tasty food had suddenly disappeared to.
Search, search! I turned my torso for a strike.
Wham!
My fist shot into the outermost face, which was just beginning to turn towards me.
The punch landed with full force on the beast's cheekbone. The impulse spread in waves across the face, and I clearly saw how the fat on the creature's cheeks trembled in small ripples. The mutant recoiled and sagged a bit.
Wow! I looked in amazement at the consequences of the speed strike. Apparently, my schizo can do something! Now we'll talk to you!
Come here, monster!
The bear shook the head that had been hit and focused its eyes on me. The red fire in its eyes blazed even brighter. The creature jumped at me. And immediately received another counter to the jaw. This time to a different one.
The mutated animal reeled back again and swayed to the side.
"No, teddy bear. Now it's my turn," I grinned. I rubbed my nose with my thumb, took a stance, and, not giving the enemy a breather, unleashed a hail of blows on it.
Left hook - Straight - Right hook - Left hook again. My fists emphatically landed on all three muzzles, leaving red marks on already red cheeks.
The beast was swaying from side to side. In a matter of seconds, it had transformed from a hunter not even into prey, but into a punching bag that was being hammered without stopping.
After several dozen punches, the bear turned around and, showing its tiny tail, fled. The growling changed to whimpering. The clumsy bulk was retreating with the agility of a mountain hare.
"Stop, you bastard!" I shook my fist and ran after it.
The excitement had seized me and wouldn't let go. Just like during a good street fight. But finishing the showdown with the bear was no longer an option. Upon reaching the nearest tree, the bear quickly climbed up and disappeared into the foliage.
I couldn't boast of such tree-climbing skills, so I just spat after the mutant and wiped the sweat from my face with my sleeve.
Okay, the hell with this bear. I need to decide what to do next. What does my schizo say?
Balance — 0 crowns.
Skill "Speed Strike" development progress — 54%.
"Awesome," I exhaled heavily. Zero balance. Everything's like in my past life, again not a penny to my name. Good thing at least the skill improved a bit in battle. One more fight and it will advance to level two.
Apparently, I don't have many options. Ahead, a city was visible, where they could probably answer my questions. And maybe even tell me what kind of schizophrenia has settled in my head.
I started walking toward the distant lights.
Ding! A notification popped up before my eyes.
Congratulations!
You have been awarded a new achievement — "Bear Terror"!
Description:
Great hero, with your frightening behavior you have turned back a Three-headed Flame Beast.
Achievement bonus — when meeting any bear, there is a 5% chance to make it flee.
Reward for achievement +1 to rating.
Calculating rating!
@#$%^&*!!!
Error...
Recalculating rating!
@#$%^&*!!!
Error... Unable to calculate rating...
Your rating — 0.
"Why the hell do I have zero again?" I felt myself starting to boil over again. "Damn schizo, fix this problem! Or I don't know what I'll do now!"
I shook my fist in the air, threatening the invisible interlocutor.
Negative distortions detected...
Initiating compensation protocol!
The sound of falling coins was heard.
1000 crowns credited as compensation for achievement!
I checked the balance. There was indeed a one with three zeros. Excellent! I smirked. So this schizo turns out to be quite a pushover. It was so easy to bend it to my will!
Ding! Suddenly, another notification popped up before my eyes.
Congratulations on successful adaptation to the new world!
Rejoice! You are a lucky one whom millions would envy!
You receive a Unique Quest!
Description:
Unique Quest — a quest created for a specific person (or being of another race), based on their personal characteristics, character, and skills.
Exists in a single copy.
"Wow! Unbelievable!" I whistled and immediately impatiently moved to the next message with the quest description.
Unique Quest — "Miser"
Accumulate 1,000,000 crowns on your balance!
Deadline for completion — 1 month.
Reward — hidden.
Penalty for failure — death.
The smile that had appeared on my face quickly faded. What?!!!