By now, Kwabena Asare had survived:
➢ Seduction disguised as group work
➢ Pageants turned into proposals
➢ Departmental warnings typed in bold and underlined
So when the Head of Department called him one morning and said,
"Kwabena, we're sending you and two other TAs to assist in marking mock BECE maths scripts
for a nearby basic school," he sighed in relief.
Finally! Some peace and numbers. Just red pen, answer booklets, and quiet.
Right?
WRONG.
The Setup
The school was "Winneba Junior Academy for Smart Learners" ironic because most of their
scripts read like this:
"2x + 3x = I don't know, but I tried my best."
Kwabena set up a marking station at the headteacher's office with two other TAs, Benedicta and
George.
First paper: "Solve for X in 2x + 5 = 15." Kwabena
expected:
2x = 10, x = 5.
What he got instead:
"X is a spiritual number. Only God knows." He nearly screamed.
The Real Drama
Everything was fine (by Ghana standards) until Kwabena came across one perfect script.
Clean handwriting. All answers are correct. The steps are
clearly shown. Even margin rules are obeyed. The name on
the script?
Akosua E.. – JHS 3B
Kwabena turned the last page and saw a phone number and a message written faintly in pencil
"Sir, I hope I solved the maths... but if I failed, I still want to solve YOU. Call me." He gasped.
George peeped over and said, "Herh… BECE girls paa?! Kwabena, you dey attract problems like
Wi-Fi."
The Interrogation
Kwabena refused to mark the paper.
He reported it to the assistant headmistress, who narrowed her eyes and said:
"Akosua? Ei, she's 15 but acts like 25. Let me call her!" Akosua
walked in, confident and chewing gum.
"Did you write this?" the assistant headmistress barked.
Akosua smiled. "Madam, the maths paper is finished. But Sir Kwabena's smile is the real
equation I want to solve."
Everyone in the room froze.
Even a passing goat outside paused.
Kwabena, close to fainting, whispered, "This is a trap. This is a full Netflix series."
The Fallout
The school suspended Akosua for "unethical exam conduct" and "harassment of external exam
personnel."
Kwabena? He got ANOTHER official letter this one from the Regional Education Office
warning him to "maintain absolute boundaries" even if students "submit more than algebra." The
Return to UEW
When he got back to UEW, he met Dr. Mensah in the corridor.
The man didn't say hello. He just looked at him and asked:
"Kwabena, do you have… romantic pheromones?"
Now, Kwabena only marks assignments in public, wears hoodies, and refuses to take any script
with a heart drawn on the corner.
As he tells other new TAs:
"Listen, Maths won't break your heart. But some students will try. Stick to X and Y not X-rated
surprises."