Still Feelings

*Carl's point of view*

Why now, now when everything is going well with her, now that she's slowly moving on from that despicable and traumatizing past, why does she have to go through this right now. I sat there with my head bowed, thinking of all the negative things that could happen while waiting for the doctor.

" Sir, sir".

I raised my head and looked at the doctor who had a worried look on his face, immediately getting up I held the doctor's hand.

" Yes doctor, please tell me she's going to be fine, she'll be alright won't she?".

" Calm down sir, she'll be fine, I believe this isn't the first time this is happening to her, especially since you knew what drugs to buy at the time of the incident".

" Yes sir, apparently I am her manager and friend, I've been by her side for ten years, and the last time she had such an episode was six years ago. That's why the drugs wasn't at home when the panic attack started, I felt she wouldn't go through it anymore".

" She has PTSD ( Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), and it's a bad one if I do say so myself. From the look of things she never got therapy for this right".

" Yes sir, she never got therapy for it, can she get it now?".

" It'll take effect slower than it's supposed to if she were to take it as she is, she first has to make up her mind and decide that she wants to do it, only then can we prevent her from having another episode while telling us about her past, be patient with her, and be very supportive. The only way she can heal is by confronting her past face to face".

" That's a little close to impossible doctor, we came in contact with a woman from her past, one who is directly responsible for her pain and trauma, she only heard her voice, she didn't even meet the woman eye to eye and this happened, now imagine if they had a conversation".

" It'll take time but she'll have to face it, she'll likely develop sleep paralysis, was she going through something like that before?".

" Yes sir, she used to have sleep paralysis before, but it stopped, it's been years since any of this happened".

" She'll regain conciousness soon, take good care of her, we've prescribed some drugs, however PTSD is a sickness of the mind, it's a mental disorder and she needs therapy, make sure you remain by her side, right now she needs someone she can trust".

" Yes sir, of course, thank you".

The doctor left and I walked up to Sophia's room, looking at her through the window, she was fast asleep and she looked calm. Sophie, please be fine soon.

*Daven'point of view*

I scattered the wardrobe, seriously checking for the drugs and then I finally found it.

" Here, have this".

I immediately rushed and gave it to Ethan, which he took and swallowed with water.

" Thank you".

" Stephanie, Stephanie!".

I screamed at the top of my lungs and she came running in.

" Sir, you called, is everything okay?".

" Prepare some soup for Ethan, hurry up okay".

" Yes sir".

She left immediately and Ethan just laid down back, I felt restless, pacing back and forth, my hands on my waist, raising my head up and dropping it down.

" Stop that, you're making me dizzy".

" Well you're making me anxious and worried, what if I wasn't here at the time when you had that episode, what if there was no one here to wake you up, you were drowning in your nightmares again, please I beg you Ethan, take therapy".

" It's not that easy".

" Oh it's very easy, you're just being unnecessarily stubborn, and that to for no reason at all, you feel suffocated everyday and you're always exhausted lately, I'm scared Ethan, I'm scared".

" Stop being scared Daven, nothing__".

" Shut the fuck up, you're only saying this cause you're not in my shoes and you don't know how it feels to slowly watch your health depreciate, one day you might feel so mentally exhausted that you just pass out in the middle of the fucking road, and what happens then, what happens if I'm not by your side then you bastard!".

" Yes, I understand you're worried and upset, honestly you have every reason to be, I'm sorry for being such a burden, for always needing you by my side every time, it makes me look selfish, like you don't have a life to live. I'm sorry Daven, that you always have to be by my side, it's not your life's obligation, you've done your very best up until now and I understand if you're tired of this and if you feel suffocated. It's not easy taking care of a mentally sick person".

I just stood there with tears in my eyes, I picked up my coat from the chair and walked out.

*Carl's point of view*

" Carl, Carl".

I heard Sophia's voice call out to me, opening my eyes I found her sitting on her bed and smiling at me. I didn't even know when I jumped on her and embraced her in a tight hug.

" Oh princess, you're fine, you're actually fine".

" Before this disorder kills me, this hug will get the job done first, I can't breathe".

I moved away and she took in a deep breath

" I don't know why I felt this disorder had gone away, I'm so stupid for feeling so, I feel so guilty".

" There's no need for that, even if you knew it didn't go away there's nothing more you can do, you've been by my side long enough, ten years is no joke".

" Actually the day after tomorrow makes it eleven years, wanna hang out somewhere?".

She looked at me with bright eyes and gave me the biggest smile she had

" Yes, thank you".

" Anything to see you smile princess, the doctor spoke about therapy, we'll talk about that later, but first do you want me to tell GD to postpone the initial time for starting the series production".

" No, I can do it, I'm sure, it'll be better if I get my mind off things with work don't you think".

" Mmm yes, you seem happier when you work, I'll go tell the doctor you're awake now".

I left her there and she just sat looking at the window outside, the peace and quiet is good for her, I went to look for the doctor who attended to her.

*Daven' point of view*

Walking through an empty street, hands in my pockets, looking directly at the floor when two kids walked up to me.

" Sir, please give us some money".

I raised my head and looked at them, they looked so dirty and unkept, I could tell they were suffering, Ethan flashed through my mind and I remembered how we used to beg on the streets as well, I felt like crying again, it was so nostalgic seeing them beg. I gave them money and they ran away happy.

" When I become a big shot one day you'll be my manager, there's no way I'm making life without you Daven".

Those were Ethan's exact words, tears flowed down my face while memories and guilt flooded my mind, I abandoned him before, will I do that again, hell no, I can't possibly do that again, not now when he's at his lowest, not now when he needs me the most, he doesn't have anyone except me right now.

It's emotionally draining being there for him, but this is something I have to do, if he were in my shoes he'd do the same for me, he's gonna get better, I know he is.

Being here in this street, seeing all these children running around together brought so many memories back, did I forget Ethan and I knew each other since we were thirteen, I felt so guilty and I couldn't stop myself from crying, sitting on the floor it started raining but I didn't get up until after awhile. I turned back and headed for Ethan's home, our home.

*Carl's point of view*

The doctor said Sophia could go home, the best news I've heard in awhile, after signing all the necessary documents and making sure they would keep their lips shut, we left the hospital for home, she looked so lively and happy for someone who's just coming out of an episode, but I'm glad she's fine.

Singing songs and screaming in the car, we did everything to keep up the good vibes, laughing like maniacs, I prayed things would be this way but a part of me knows it's impossible for this to be the way things will be. I have to prepare myself for the worst.

Arriving home, the maids already cooked her favorite dishes since I asked them to before we left the hospital, not everything was ready though so we had to wait awhile before she could eat. We ate together, and she requested for junk food after, gosh Sophia.

*Daven'point of view*

I know Ethan hasn't left his room especially since that good for nothing brother of his is back here, I shaked my body in utter disgust of having to see his face before going in, and as fate would have it his face was the first thing I saw on entering the house.

We both looked at each other with utter disgust, I looked away and stared and nothing for awhile with a " just die already look" before walking to Ethan's room. Drenched from rain with pizza and shawarma as well as chicken wings and beer I opened his door.

" Tada".

I said while shaking my hands and smiling at him, he gave me a " what the fuck look" and I stopped smiling.

" Don't look at me like that Ethan, you have no idea just how long I had to stand in the restaurant to buy this".

" You look like an imbecile who just recovered after receiving shock therapy or whatever it's called".

I dropped the things at the table and changed into his clothes and he looked at me with utter embarrassment, funny how he's the embarrassing one.

" I thought you weren't coming back".

I dropped the remote I was about to pick up and looked at him and sighed and breathing loudly with my hand on my waist I looked at him for awhile before responding to his statement.

" Why would you think that way, don't answer, I'm just asking for the effect".

" What if I hit rock bottom, what if I never get well, what if I have to depend on you forever".

" Then we'll hit rock bottom together and I'll pull you up like I always do, besides, you can't survive a day without me, come on let's eat, I'm starving and cold despite being in your hoodie".

He was walking to the bed when he slipped and fell on the water that dripped from the clothes, haaa. I burst into laughter and he joined in while still on the floor, this is the best I can ask for, thank you my friend. Morning came and I received a call from GD.

" It's GD isn't it".

" Yep, and apparently you have a meeting with Sophia and the director for the series".

He sighed before getting ready, thankfully we didn't see his brother before leaving, arriving at GD we headed to the Director of Talent office where his secretary told us where the meeting would be taking place, we got there and Sophia and her annoying manager were already there.

Our eyes locked and we glared at each other, this Carl thinks he's better than me, fool. We took our seats and the director addressed us.

" Thank you all for coming over, as you know we're here to discuss the series you'll be shooting soon, everyone here is the most important cast members of the series, so please, get aquainted with each other".

One of the cast members made a whistling sound, and the look on Sophia's face changed.

" Stop it".

She straight up told him to stop, the look in her eyes were that of terror, I've heard this whistling tune before though, it should be from a song if I'm not mistaken. He didn't listen and continued whistling, I could see Carl holding her hand, Ethan and I just looked at each other.

" I said stop that nonsense or are you suddenly deaf!".

Did she just yell at another celebrity for whistling, Ethan looked at me and whispered something in my ear.

" I think she's scared of this sound, maybe she has history with it, possibly trauma".

What!, I had to scream in my mind.