I AM NADEZHDA

I am not a queen because I rule, I rule because I am THE QUEEN.

Birthed in my heart. Alive in my veins…

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Before the Spiral.

Southern Castle for Royals, Ysvaldir, The South...

As the seconds stretched, my mood turned sour at everything happening around me. Same old, same old!

Fake smiles and empty tales of dishonest ventures. Eye signals, tiny whispers, and subtle crafty plots.

This event no longer holds a decent purpose to why it is being held and has become a recent means to show off royals who have made remarkable achievements this past year…and also demean those who have been nothing but disgrace to their kingdoms.

During this period, no royal is allowed to fall sick, no one is allowed to suddenly go missing or the kingdom responsible for such a royal pays a tribute so heavy they might never recover.

And I am a part of the latter group of royals.

‘A bloody disgrace!’

Twenty-one years of age without any royal from my kingdom or any other interested in having me for a wife! I am three years later than most, and I was certain that by the end of the night, my ears would be filled with words from my father – the King of Isoloth- my half-brothers, and their wives.

I had finally had enough of the event and the heaviness of the attire I had been thrown into. I urgently needed to step out for some air.

I snatched a chalice of liquor from a table reserved for the princes of lower kingdoms and headed towards whatever room I might find empty in this giant castle.

Before exiting one of the entrances, I looked around for my family members, and they were scattered around, trying to see who could get some information for Father or, rather, get a staggering connection… for Father.

Shaking my head, I took the stairs upward.

Once in one of the longest hallways I have seen in my life, I chose to neglect the first to fifth rooms. There is always a higher chance that they were being occupied.

I turned the knob of the sixth and was grateful when it turned. I took a swig directly from the chalice and the harsh liquid bit the back of my throat.

That was exactly what I needed.

But I was stopped from moving any further due to the sight before me.

Close to the window was one of the leading Commanders of the Southern Army - a famous Prince of Valcresh- practically eating off the lips of a Princess I couldn’t remember what kingdom she was from.

They both turned to glare at the intruder who was scarred by their activity. The Princess’s gown was a good distance from her waist while the Prince’s upper apparel was unbuttoned, revealing a sheen of toned skin.

Such a skin that could only be gotten from hours put into the sun and endless hard labour.

‘Heavens!’ I screamed inwardly.

While the Princess quickly tried to cover herself, the Prince appeared unbothered.

‘‘You must be that rebellious Princess from Isoloth. Wish to replace her?’’ he acknowledged with a lazy smile as his eyes regarded my appearance.

There was no need for any explanation. He is irrefutably insane and of course, my reputation precedes my kingdom.

I scoffed.

‘‘You will have to be a saint for the rest of your life before you can be considered to touch me in your next life.

Keep dreaming, you immoral swine!” I spat before turning around. I hurriedly walked away but not before slamming the door as I heard him chuckle.

I settled for the seventh room and thankfully, there was no soul in sight.

I was also thankful that he wasn’t irked by my words. He was perhaps ten years older than I am and a conqueror of many battles. Paying me back for my intrusion and for speaking to him in that manner isn’t something he was far from.

But he had giggled. I hope that was a good thing.

I dropped on a wingback chair and there I took many gulps of the liquor.

As someone whose opinion never matters, I had sought companionship in many areas, and I often found something close to it in the taste of very rich wines and liquor.

Females who'd dared even a taste of liquor are often castigated and regarded as unbefitting to society. For any woman, it was shameful. For a Princess? Unforgivable.

But I had not a bone in me that cared. I have had medium-sized vessels in the past, and I was always still very much in control of my actions.

‘This time wouldn’t be any different’

Those were the words I told myself before I found myself at one of the high tables in the banquet where the event was going on.

I was without footwear or the chalice that had gotten me into this state.

‘‘Shut up Prince Drigo! Do that for a day, and you will be surprised by the significant change your life will have,’’ I said, accompanied by a loud belch that had the musicians stopping.

I could feel the eyes of everyone in the hall begin to turn to me.

It appears I indulged too much and I had succumbed to sleep. I must have thought so hard about the party that I was beginning to live it in the realm of dreams. And I am going to do exactly what I wish I could in the physical world.

‘‘Now I have your attention!

I am Nadezhda, and I loathe most of you staring at me.

Pretenders, backstabbers, gossipers, and thieves all gather by this time of the year in dresses that could feed an entire city in our respective kingdoms.

I remember always looking forward to the gatherings of the South when I was a little girl. We used to be earnestly happy, we used to have so much fun. Some of us used to care for other royals who bear the greater responsibilities of leadership.

This used to be a safe space from the never-ending thoughts of our people-”

I staggered lightly, but I was not done unburdening my heart, and so I stilled myself.

‘‘Now we gather under the guise of this event, to plot the downfall of another kingdom. We laugh at the North and their inability to produce their chosen ruler like there are any of us with a conscience.

Spreading lands and conquering cities, burning homes and tarnishing images, that is what most of us are now known for-”

‘‘Who is this and by what right is she permitted to speak such?

If you know she hails from your kingdom, come for her before irrevocable decisions are made!’ Someone barked.

He had to be a king because no one opposed him and despite the haze I was in, I felt fear creep into my spine.

But I’m in my dream and no wrongdoing can be accounted for. So I continued.

‘‘From the sound of your voice, I believe you to be one of those very guilty of this’’ I shouted back at him.

There was silence for a heartbeat before he bellowed at the top of his voice.

‘‘Whose is she under the heavens? What cursed kingdom raised such a royal?’’

No one came forward. No one acknowledged.

‘‘So be it. Drag her to the gallows!” The King commanded.

Guards quickly moved from their positions aiming for the table that levitated me.

I need to wake up. They are going to kill me! I'm going to die!

“Let her be!’’ A voice suddenly called from the western wall of the hall.

The sonorous voice passed like a wave over everyone and could not be evaded. Those three words had not even been yelled, but because people were murmuring and speaking lightly, the command in the words had carried a stronger effect.

Royals parted quickly from the burning gaze of the King of Eryndor to reveal who had spoken.

The source was leaning casually on the wall, a glass of wine in hand, a lazy glaze in his eyes, and one foot crossed before the other.

But everyone could feel the arduous radiance that got off him in surges.

The King squinted his eyes, but his demeanour slightly changed upon recognizing who it was.

‘‘What are you saying Commander Zorgon? That woman-”

He could not continue because Zorgan tilted his head and locked eyes with him. It was an unspoken caution for the King of Eryndor to consider his next words.

‘‘That woman-” Commander Zorgan started as he got off the wall.

No hushed sound, no murmur, no whisper, as every ear was poised to catch his words.

‘‘-is my wife!’’