Wrinkly Sword, Broken Pride

"Yo, Su Chen boy, I didn't expect you to still be alive!"

Old Jack's voice rang out from above like thunder. He floated mid-air, his black robes fluttering even though there was no wind. His long hair swayed behind him like he was posing for a cultivation magazine. If it weren't for the blood dripping from his hands, you might have mistaken him for some kindly uncle visiting for tea.

"It hurts me, really," Old Jack continued, placing a hand dramatically over his chest. "You didn't drink this uncle's special chicken soup. I cooked it myself! Simmered it for three hours in a special pot I snatched from a powerful cultivator. It was made with pure love, boy—pure love!"

On the tree branch below, Su Chen snorted and raised an eyebrow, a fox-like grin curling up the side of his face. He looked utterly relaxed despite the floating demonic cultivator looming overhead.

"Heh. Old bastard," Su Chen said, brushing nonexistent dust from his robe. "If I'd actually drunk your 'loving' chicken soup, I'd be fertilizer inside that red formation of yours by now. If that's your version of hospitality, I'll stick with starvation, thanks."

The two of them looked like a pair of old drinking buddies arguing over who forgot to pay the bill—never mind that one had just slaughtered an entire village and was planning to kill the other in the next breath.

Old Jack blinked, then let out a long, theatrical sigh.

"Ahhh, kids these days," he said, shaking his head. "No gratitude. You try to give them a painless death, and they throw it in your face. I even went through all the trouble to make sure it would be painless. But you—you just had to be difficult. Now I'm afraid your death is going to be a little… messier."

His tone was casual, like he was complaining about burnt rice, not attempted murder.

Su Chen feigned horror, clutching his heart. "Oh nooo, a painful death? My poor soul! And to think I was just starting to like you, Uncle Jack." Then he grinned. "But since you're in such a generous mood, how about I share a little truth about life before I go? Won't take long. Just a few last words."

He giggled like a child who'd stolen a cookie and was about to eat it in front of the baker.

Meanwhile—

Hidden away inside a hollow tree trunk not far from the clearing, Lin Yu held his breath, not daring to move. His heartbeat thundered in his ears. Just a few steps away, death floated in the sky in the form of Old Jack, who had wiped out his entire village—and his parents along with it. The only thing keeping him from getting instantly noticed was his Weapon Spirit's master concealment.

Inside his mind, a voice whispered coolly.

"Lin Yu… I honestly can't tell if that friend of yours is brilliant… or just suicidal."

Lin Yu scowled. "He's not my friend. He's trash. A cripple. A beggar with no parents, no cultivation base, and no dignity. How could someone like that be my friend?"

The Weapon Spirit paused for a beat. Then, in a soft, innocent voice, it replied,

"…Aren't you an orphan now too?"

Lin Yu: "…"

That one hit him right in the trauma.

Lin Yu's breath caught. His chest tightened. For a moment, the fear and anger were swept aside by a fresh wave of grief. He bit his lip hard, but tears still pricked at the corners of his eyes. He had just managed to forget that pain for a few moments—thanks to the sheer terror of being hunted like a rabbit.

Now, that bastard Su Chen was chatting with the man who killed everyone he ever cared about. Smiling, even joking, like this was some kind of game.

Lin Yu clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white.

"You old dog… and that little dog Su Chen," he muttered in his mind, fury boiling under his skin. "If either of you dare die before I get my hands on you, I'll drag you both back from the afterlife just so I can make you suffer."

Fortunately, his Weapon Spirit Master's concealment didn't just hide his presence—it also muffled his killing intent. If it hadn't, he would've already become a glowing beacon to Old Jack's senses.

"Calm down, Lin Yu," the spirit said, its voice now serious, like an old, wise elder. "This is not the time to be angry. Think. That Su Chen has been here the entire time. If he knows you're hiding nearby, and he's not your friend… he might sell you out."

Lin Yu's breath hitched. His mind began racing. He hadn't considered that.

"After all," the spirit continued, "when a man is drowning, he'll grab anyone—it doesn't matter if he drags them down with him."

"Shit…" Lin Yu whispered in his mind, suddenly feeling cold. The fear returned—but now it was mixed with suspicion. He forced himself to calm down, to think, to find a way to escape this madness.

Back in the clearing—

Old Jack twirled a finger lazily in the air, still hovering like he was lying on an invisible couch. "Hehe, well, I don't mind listening to your final words before you die. Go ahead, speak. Let's hear this 'truth of life' you've prepared."

Su Chen grinned, his hands behind his back. "Oh, I will. But fair warning… once you hear it, you might die from laughter before I do."

"Alright… ahem…" Su Chen cleared his throat with a fake cough, like he was about to deliver a sacred speech. His expression turned serious, but his lips twitched like he was holding back laughter.

"Old man, remember that time you told me your wife left you because she thought you were a bad guy?"

Old Jack squinted, suspicion flashing in his eyes.

Su Chen smiled like a fox about to steal a chicken. "Well, I figured out the real reason."

"Oh?" Old Jack tilted his head.

"It's because," Su Chen said, holding up a finger like he was delivering divine wisdom, "you're a damn old dog who couldn't satisfy her! She didn't leave because you were 'evil'—she left because you couldn't give her what a young cultivator could. Face it, old man—she hated your wrinkly little sword!"

He burst into laughter mid-sentence.

For a second, the sky turned silent.

Old Jack's face darkened. His hand slowly rose, spiritual power crackling like thunder on his palm.

Su Chen's laughter stopped immediately. He took a small step back, eyes wide. "Whoa whoa whoa, calm down, Uncle Jack! You're gonna kill me anyway, right? Let me at least enjoy my last few moments with a clear conscience!"

His words were casual, but inside, he was already crying.

F**k! If this old man so much as sneezes in my direction, I'll turn into ash!

Old Jack exhaled through his nose and lowered his hand, but the temperature in the air dropped several degrees. His kind facade was gone. He looked like a butcher picking which meat to carve first.

Su Chen, however, wasn't done being suicidal.

"Oh, and about your runaway wife…" he continued, wagging a finger, "You had a daughter with her, right? Must be all grown up by now…"

Old Jack's pupils narrowed.

"If I ever run into her, I swear on the Heavens, I'll take her down."

Old Jack's face turned ice-cold.

"Relax! By 'take her down,' I meant politely ask for her hand in marriage!" Su Chen added quickly—but the grin on his face suggested otherwise.

Then, as if that wasn't enough…

"Oh, and one last thing."

Su Chen turned dramatically, lifted a finger, and pointed right at a nearby tree.

"There's a little son of a bitch hiding right in that tree hole. Yep. Right there. Curled up like a scared little squirrel. You want him? Go get him!"

From inside the tree, Lin Yu's entire soul left his body.

WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. F*CK.

His eyes bulged. His mouth dropped open. He looked like a man who'd just seen his sect's treasury get auctioned off by mistake.

"MASTER!" he screamed in his mind. "That little bastard just sold me out!"

Inside the spiritual bowl, the weapon spirit sighed like it was watching a soap opera.

"…Yeah. I noticed. Want me to curse his ancestors for you?"

"Yes! No—WAIT! What about me?! That lunatic's gonna kill me!"

"Should've picked a better hiding spot. Maybe under a rock," the spirit said lazily.

Above the banyan, Old Jack hadn't moved. He was still processing the sheer level of shameless nonsense Su Chen just spouted in one breath.