Chapter 24: Training with the 13 Useless Elders

The dust from the previous day's noodle explosion had barely settled when Lin Feng received yet another unexpected invitation. This time, he was summoned to the Golden Wok Clan's training hall for a "special session" with the clan's 13 retired elders, collectively known as the "Useless Elders."

Lin Feng, still riding high from his recent kitchen chaos, stepped into the training hall with an air of confidence that could only come from accidentally slaying noodle beasts and causing widespread kitchen panic.

"Elder Bai, are you sure I need this?" Lin Feng asked, glancing nervously at the elderly group of chefs who were sitting cross-legged on the floor, nibbling on various snacks and sipping tea. "I mean, I've already leveled up from a casual cook to a divine culinary disaster in just a few days. What more do I need?"

Elder Bai, who had been rubbing his temples ever since the last noodle incident, shot him a weary look. "You need discipline, young man. And these elders are the only ones who can teach you. They may not have been very useful in battle, but their kitchen techniques are... legendary. You will train with them today, whether you like it or not."

"Fine," Lin Feng sighed, taking a seat next to an elder who was currently playing a game of duck chess with Master Quack, the angry duck spirit who had been avoiding him since the whole soup debacle.

Elder Bai cleared his throat and addressed the group. "Alright, elders, time to begin! We'll start with the basics. Lin Feng, are you ready for your training?"

One elder, a hunchbacked old man with a long beard that looked suspiciously like a broomstick, stood up dramatically, holding up a small jar of pepper flakes. "My technique is the Sneeze Pepper Counterattack! It's a legendary move, one that has caused entire kitchens to collapse in fits of... well, sneezing."

Lin Feng's eyebrows shot up. "Wait, what?"

The elder threw a pinch of the pepper flakes into the air, and within seconds, the entire hall was filled with a violent storm of sneezes. Lin Feng, caught off guard, tried to dodge the pepper storm but was hit full force. He immediately began sneezing uncontrollably.

"AH-CHOO! AH-CHOO!" Lin Feng stumbled around the hall, unable to stop. "I—I didn't think pepper could do this! What kind of technique is this?!"

Elder Bai, standing by and watching with an expression that said he had given up on life, sighed. "It's... it's a defensive move. In theory, it's supposed to confuse your enemies and disorient them. But really, it's just a fancy way of making everyone miserable."

Lin Feng, still sneezing, tried to focus. "Okay... Okay, I can handle this. Bring it on!"

The elder, unfazed, threw more pepper into the air. Lin Feng's nose twitched, and in an epic explosion of sneezes, he collided with a stack of soup bowls, sending them flying in every direction.

"Oh no!" Lin Feng shouted. "I'm making an even bigger mess!"

Master Quack, who had been watching from the sidelines, waddled over with a solemn look on his face. "Quack! Quack!" he demanded, shaking his feathery head disapprovingly. "Do not sneeze over the broth! It must be sacred! Sacred!"

Elder Bai sighed again. "I think it's safe to say you've failed the Sneeze Pepper Counterattack."

Lin Feng stood up, rubbing his nose. "No kidding."

But before he could recover, another elder, a sprightly old woman with an absurd number of spatulas tucked into her hair, shouted, "Next! We move on to Dodge-and-Carry-Soup-Without-Spilling!"

Lin Feng, still recovering from his sneeze-induced injuries, looked around. "Wait, what? You want me to carry soup? After everything else that's happened?"

"Indeed!" The elder beamed. "You must carry no less than 17 bowls of soup, all at once, while blindfolded. No spilling. Not a drop."

Lin Feng's eyes widened in horror. "Wait—17 bowls? Blindfolded? You're insane!"

But the elder, who clearly had no concept of personal space, already placed 17 bowls of boiling soup onto Lin Feng's hands and covered his eyes with a blindfold. "Go ahead, boy! Show me your inner balance!"

Lin Feng gulped. There was no turning back now. Slowly, carefully, he began to take his first step. One... two... three...

And then, disaster struck.

With one uncoordinated step, Lin Feng tripped on a piece of misaligned floorboard and immediately launched the soup bowls into the air. They spun in slow motion, and as Lin Feng watched in horror, he could only scream, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The bowls collided with the ceiling with a loud splat, and then, miraculously, they all landed back on the ground, perfectly upright and intact, as if by divine intervention. The kitchen went deathly silent.

The elders stared, jaws on the floor, their eyes wide. Even Master Quack's feathers were standing on end.

Lin Feng, blinking in confusion, slowly removed the blindfold. "What just happened?"

Elder Bai, who had been watching the whole ordeal, looked at him with a mixture of awe and disbelief. "I… I think you might have accidentally unlocked the Lazy Wok Style."

Lin Feng blinked, unsure if he had heard correctly. "Lazy Wok Style? What is that?"

Elder Bai gave him a sagely nod. "It's a cooking technique that involves unpredictable, seemingly drunken movements that confuse both enemies and judges. It's... a very rare and unorthodox style. Usually, people master it by sheer accident."

Lin Feng scratched his head. "So... you're saying my complete lack of coordination is a style?"

Elder Bai sighed. "At this point, I'll take whatever I can get."

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