You & I

Jay's POV

Silence.

Not the peaceful kind. The kind that rings in your ears, like the aftermath of an explosion. Deafening. Hollow. Mocking.

That's all that was left in the room after Keifer walked out. Not a word. Not a glance back. Just a sharp inhale and the sound of his footsteps getting smaller and smaller.

Gone.

I didn't even realize I'd been holding my breath until it hurt to keep it in. I let it out slowly, shakily. My chest rose, fell. Again. Again. Just to remind myself I was still here.

Because everything else felt like it wasn't.

My legs didn't move.

No twitch. No spasm. Nothing.

Dead weight under the blanket. And no matter how many times I whispered move, just move, they stayed still. My body didn't listen to me anymore.

It felt like a betrayal.

And then there was him.

Keifer.

The look in his eyes before he left I didn't know what to make of it. Fear? Anger? Guilt? I wanted him to come back. I needed him to. But he didn't.

Maybe he couldn't.

Maybe he looked at me and saw everything I wasn't anymore.

I shut my eyes before the tears could slip. My fingers fisted the sheets, the only part of me I could still control. I didn't cry. I didn't scream. I didn't even breathe for a moment.

Because if I let myself break, I wouldn't be able to put the pieces back together again.

Keifer's POV

I didn't even know how I ended up in the hallway.

I just walked. Fast. Aimless.

Out of the room. Away from her.

Like a coward.

My fists were clenched so tight my nails left half-moon indents in my skin, but even that pain felt distant.

She's paralyzed.

They said it like a damn afterthought. Like it was just a possibility, a chance. Temporary. But I heard it in their tone how "temporary" might just mean forever.

Jay. My Jasper Jean.

The strongest person I've ever known. The girl who faced fire with her head held high, who took a bullet meant for me.

And now she can't walk.

I leaned against the nearest wall, my forehead pressing to the cold, white surface as I tried to breathe. But every inhale felt like it got stuck in my chest.

She looked at me like she was begging me to stay.

And I left.

God.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I should've held her. I should've told her she was still everything. That I wasn't going anywhere. But all I could see in that moment was her in pain and I panicked.

Because I couldn't fix this.

And if I couldn't fix it… what use was I?

Jay's POV

I don't know how long I lay there—ten minutes? An hour?

Time blurred into nothingness.

But eventually, there was a knock on the door. Not loud. Gentle.

Hope rose in my chest. Keifer?

"Jay," a soft voice called. A nurse. "You have someone waiting outside. He says he's not ready to come in yet… but he wanted you to know he's still here."

Still here.

My heart cracked.

I didn't answer. Just nodded weakly.

Because I didn't know if I wanted him to come in… or stay away.

Keifer's POV

I sat on the bench down the hall, head in my hands, guilt chewing me alive from the inside out.

"I'm still here," I whispered to no one. "I'm not leaving."

But I had.

I'd walked out when she needed me the most. And I didn't know if she'd ever forgive me for that.

I swallowed hard, the image blurring through my tears.

I was going to marry her and I still intend to do so.

That had been the plan and still is . The ring is being made by that person, a special ring. 

And now?

Now I didn't know if she'd even want me anymore.

Jay's POV

I heard the shift in the hallway. The sound of someone pacing. Then silence again.

I stared at the ceiling until the tears dried on my cheeks and my chest stopped aching enough to speak.

"Let him in," I whispered.

The nurse nodded.

Seconds passed. Then the door opened again.

And he was there.

Keifer.

His eyes were red. His jaw clenched. Like he'd been through a war.

"Jay," he breathed, voice cracking. "I—"

I didn't let him finish.

"Why did you leave?"

It came out sharp. Accusatory. But my voice was soft. Fragile.

He flinched. Hard.

"I—I didn't know what to say," he admitted. "I didn't want you to see me break."

I stared at him. "And you thought I needed you to be perfect?"

"No." He shook his head, coming closer. "I just I thought if I fell apart, you would too. And I couldn't handle the idea of both of us falling."

I blinked at him, the tears threatening again. "I needed you to fall with me, Keif. Not leave."

He sat at the edge of the bed slowly, carefully. Like he was afraid I'd shatter again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, pressing his forehead against my hand. "I'm so sorry."

I didn't say anything.

Just let him stay there.

Breathing in the same space. Together in the silence.

For the first time since the diagnosis… I didn't feel completely alone.