Chapter 9: Vault 2: Electric Boogaloo & the Mystery of the Sealed Professors
Location: Deep under the Academy, through the wall that shouldn't have existed, behind the door that definitely screamed when it opened.
"System," Liana hissed, "I don't remember approving a second forbidden vault."
[It was sealed before you arrived. Even I had to reboot four times to remember it existed.]
"And you let her open it?"
[She tripped. Her magic did the rest.]
Vault Girl—now accidentally known as "Phoenix Whisperer," "Prophecy Girl," and "Literal Problem"—stood inside the second vault, looking innocent as hell.
"I just touched the doorknob," she said.
Mordain peered into the dimly-lit vault. "That's not a doorknob. That's a cursed consciousness lock. Made of eldritch teeth. Obviously."
The inside of the vault was... not a vault.
It was a cryochamber.
Seven pods. All humming. All labeled:
Professor Vora: Transmutation
Professor Kael: Temporal Ethics
Professor Lorrin: Advanced Magical Threats (Retired)
And one ominously labeled: "DO NOT WAKE. SERIOUSLY. DO NOT."
Liana's eyes widened.
"These are the original professors... the ones who vanished during the Great Academic Collapse 300 years ago."
Mordain squinted. "Wait… Kael owes me lunch!"
Flashback: 300 Years Ago (narrated poorly by the System)
The Academy once stood at the peak of magical education, power, and student debt.Then someone summoned something that looked like a god, smelled like regret, and ate three departments.The last surviving professors sealed themselves to keep dangerous knowledge from leaking. Or waking up. Or mutating.
Present Day
Vault Girl tilted her head. "So… should I poke one?"
"NO—""YES—""Please don't," Liana said, raising a glowing hand. "Mordain, back me up."
"I'm just saying, Vora's lectures could melt the weak, but they were damn efficient."
[Note: Magical readings show they are still alive. And twitching.]
The "Do Not Wake" pod hissed.
Everyone took a step back.
A hand twitched behind the frosted glass. The words on the warning label changed:
"Fine. Wake me. I dare you."
System Prompt: WAKE PROFESSOR?Options:A) Yes, we're chaos nowB) No, I like breathingC) Throw Mordain at the pod and run
Liana clicked C. Nothing happened.
[System override: Vault Girl chose A. Already done.]
The pod slid open with a sound like thunder having an existential crisis.
Out stepped a woman. Sharp eyes. Crimson coat. Aether crackling at her fingertips.
"Who's running this circus now?" she asked.
Liana raised her hand. "That'd be me."
The woman snorted. "Well. You're underqualified."
Vault Girl coughed. "She's got a system."
The ancient professor squinted at her. "And you?"
"…Um. I talk to birds and broke time once?"
"Promoted. You're now my assistant."
Liana choked on her authority. "I'm sorry, what?"
"Too late," the professor said, conjuring a clipboard from the void. "You woke me. You own me. And that means I'm back on staff."
Later, in the Lounge
Mordain sipped his wine and watched the chaos unfold.
"She's reorganizing the entire curriculum."
"She made the phoenix a faculty member," Liana muttered.
"She renamed the student council 'The Arcane Enforcers.'"
"She also suspended the System for being 'too smug.'"
[Error. Suspension... noted.]
Vault Girl walked by, now wearing assistant robes, a smug phoenix on her shoulder.
"This is fun."
Liana sighed, holding a stress crystal. "This is a hostile takeover in educational form."
End of Chapter 9