Ravaya

Diary of Sadness follows Amiya, a quiet teenage girl battling loneliness, heartbreak, and self-doubt in a world that barely notices her. Through raw, emotional diary entries laced with humor, she confesses her secret crush, her struggles with friendship, and the silent wars she fights inside her head — one page at a time.

My Diary of saddness

You know those nights when everything just feels heavy?Like your chest is carrying a 50kg bag of cement and your brain won't stop whispering bad thoughts?Yeah… last night was one of those nights.

It started off harmlessly. Ire called me after school to gist about how one boy in her class tripped and landed face-first into the dustbin. We laughed like maniacs, and for a second, it felt like everything was fine.

But when the call ended, and the room got quiet… that's when it hit me.

The loneliness. The overthinking. The stupid crush that refused to leave my chest. The voices in my head reminding me that no one would miss me if I vanished. It all came crashing down like NEPA light during rain.

I tried to sleep, but my brain was like:

"Remember when Mrs. Olumide embarrassed you? Remember when Bryant ignored your fine hairband? Remember when you almost failed maths? Remember that time in JSS1 when you fell in front of the whole assembly?"

Bruhhh, who sent this brain?At that point, I was ready to remove my head and charge it somewhere else.

Then — because I'm an emotional fool — I picked up my phone and texted Ire:

Me: "I'm sad sha."

Ire: "Oya cry small, abeg. Make the tears moisturize your face."

😂😭I hate that girl sometimes.But also love her.

So I sent her an ugly crying selfie. You know, the one where your nose looks like boiled yam and your eyes are red like you smoked onions.And guess what this witch replied?

Ire: "Ah, you even fine when you cry. God didn't try for the rest of us o."

I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.And I did.

That's when it started.Full-on breakdown.I started crying like a baby goat that missed its mother.

I was crying about everything.About Bryant. About feeling invisible. About school stress. About how my left eyebrow is thicker than the right one. Even about the fact that my mum cooked beans twice this week.

Tears everywhere. Snot everywhere. Nose blocking. Eyes swelling.

Then — I made the biggest mistake ever.I took another crying selfie.Sent it to Ire.

Ire: "If you like, cry till your head swell like coconut. That boy still won't notice you. But don't worry, me I love you sha."

😭😭😭😭😭I swear, that was both the meanest and sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.

I laughed.For the first time that night, I laughed.And in that moment, it felt like maybe, just maybe, I wasn't completely alone.

Dear Diary,Tonight I broke down.I cried over stupid boys, wicked teachers, annoying classmates, and beans.But my best friend made me laugh while I was crying.And for the first time in a long time, it felt good to be seen.

Chapter 10: The Night I broke Down