Chapter 14: The Revenge I Didn’t Plan (But Definitely Enjoyed)

Some days, God just decides to sprinkle a little drama into your life for sport. And honestly, that Tuesday morning, I was minding my own perfectly innocent business.

No gossip.No side-eyeing anyone.Just me, my biro, and my half-solved math assignment.

The class was unusually quiet — the type of silence that always feels like it's hiding something. You know that eerie calm before a teacher walks in and announces a surprise test? Yeah, that kind.

Then boom — Mrs. Alabi stormed in like an overfed tornado.

"WHO WROTE THIS RUBBISH ON THE NOTICE BOARD?!"

Her voice hit our eardrums like church speakers on Easter Sunday.

Everyone froze.Even the class chatterbox, Amaka, didn't say a word.We all exchanged the 'wetin happen?' look.

Mrs. Alabi, fuming, marched to the front and dragged the notice board inside like she was presenting evidence at a crime scene.

And there it was — written boldly in blue marker:

"BEWARE OF FAKE FRIENDS! SOME WILL LAUGH WITH YOU AND STAB YOU BEHIND. ASK AMIYA'S EX-BESTIE."

As if that wasn't enough, someone added a dramatic arrow pointing directly to Ire's classroom window.

Complete premium Nollywood production.

The room went deadly silent for two seconds.

Then—

"Yeeeehhhh!!!""Who do am?!""Wahala don burst!!"

Ire's face instantly went from pancake brown to rotten tomato red.Her mouth hung open like she wanted to speak, but her brain was still rebooting.Even her sleek lip gloss looked like it was about to melt.

I calmly closed my math book like a rich villain in a movie.

"Amiya! It's you, abi?!" she shrieked, pointing at me like an over-caffeinated prosecutor.

I swear, if eyes could slap, mine would've decked her across the room.

I stood up, smooth as silk, looked her dead in the eye, and with the fakest sweet smile I could summon, said:

"Girl, if I wanted to finish you, you'd be trending on TikTok right now."

Class:"AHHHHH!!! MAD OH!!!"

The whole class erupted.Tables were slapped.Desks were knocked.Even Musa the security guard peeped in to see who died.

Mrs. Alabi lost control.She screamed for silence like three times, but the drama was too sweet.You'd think Wizkid entered the school compound.

"I WILL SUSPEND EVERYBODY IN THIS CLASS IF I DON'T KNOW WHO DID THIS!"

No one said a word.Not a single soul.

Even Amaka the Gossip Queen, who would normally sell her siblings for a bag of plantain chips, zipped her lips.

The whole class hated Ire now.It was beautiful.

The Jealousy Grows

For the rest of the day, Ire acted like she wasn't crumbling inside.

She laughed too loudly at dry jokes.Wore her sunglasses indoors like one B-list celebrity.And forced conversations with people who were clearly ignoring her.

Meanwhile, me and Kike?We were living our best lowkey lives.

Kike was giving premium shade, side-eyes, and sneaky comments like:

"Some people really thought the world would revolve around their betraying selves. Ewu Gambia."

I couldn't stop laughing.This girl was savage.

Even Bryant tried greeting Kike in front of Ire that afternoon.

I swear, the way Ire's neck twisted to look at them, you'd think her head was about to fall off.Her face squeezed like someone swallowed hot zobo by mistake.

Bryant:"Kike, you dey alright?"

Kike:"More than alright. But mind yourself before you go and call someone 'pity love' again."

I choked on my laughter.

Ire's eyes watered, but she quickly looked up like she was staring at the ceiling fan.Nobody cared.

An Unexpected DM

That night, just when I thought the drama was over, guess who slid into my DMs?

Bryant.

Yes. Mr. Coconut Head himself.

Bryant:"Amiya… I'm sorry for everything. I messed up. Can we just be cool again?"

Imagine o.

The same boy that disgraced me like stale moi-moi in public now wanted peace.

I laughed so hard my stomach hurt.

I left him on read.Then deleted the message.

No long talk. No pity. No drama.

Because guess what?Queens don't revisit expired crushes.Especially ones that can't spell loyalty.

The Ending I Didn't Expect

By Friday, life was good.

Ire?Her squad had evaporated like hot tea in harmattan.People ignored her gist.Some even mocked her behind her back.

Me?I was glowing.Grades up. Skin clear. Vibes immaculate.And I had Kike — my sharp-mouthed, savage, loyal-to-the-bone friend by my side.

Kike and I started a secret nickname for Ire: 'Madam Desperate.'

And every time she walked past, we'd hum the Mission Impossible theme under our breath.

It felt like balance had been restored.Not because I planned revenge.But because sometimes, the universe does the dirty work for you.

And when it does?You don't complain. You grab gala, fanta, and enjoy the show.