Chapter 33: Stupidity in Motion

The endless sand dunes of Hueco Mundo stretched out like an infinite canvas, with no end in sight. The eerie, moonless sky loomed overhead, always dark, always quiet. For most Hollows, this place would be a death sentence, a place of constant hunger and constant danger. But for me? It was the perfect place to do stupid things without anyone telling me no.

Aizen, my loyal (and occasionally bitey) Hollow pet, was napping again. He'd just finished his meal from yesterday — a few unlucky Gillians who had wandered too close. He had learned, in his own dog-like way, that eating other Hollows was a better idea than trying to eat my leg. So I was safe... for now.

I, on the other hand, was up to my usual antics. I needed to do something that would earn me some more EP. The idea of becoming stronger, of evolving into a Vasto Lorde, was nice and all, but to be honest, I just enjoyed being an idiot. It was the one thing I was really good at, and surprisingly, it kept me alive.

"GUOOOH!"

(Translation: Time for another ridiculous idea!)

I looked around, scanning the barren wasteland for inspiration. Something stupid, something outrageous.

That's when I saw it.

A giant, seemingly random rock formation loomed in the distance. It wasn't just any rock formation, though. It looked like the remnants of some ancient Hollow's body, shaped like a massive hollowed-out skull. It was big — really big. Big enough to do something... stupid.

I smirked.

"GUOOOH! LET'S CLIMB IT!"

(Translation: I'll climb it!)

Why? Why not?

I staggered over to the base of the skull-shaped formation and began to climb. My body, now the size of a massive Gillian, wasn't exactly made for climbing, but I figured it would be funny if I could somehow scale the rock. The sand around me shifted with each movement, but I was determined. The absurdity of the idea was so rich, so perfect, that I couldn't resist.

"GUOOOH!"

(Translation: I'm almost there!)

It wasn't long before I had somehow managed to make my way to the top. A few times I slipped, nearly tumbling to my death, but the sheer ridiculousness of my task kept me going. I was doing something no sane Hollow would ever do. I was... achieving stupidity.

Standing atop the "skull," I looked out over the vast emptiness of Hueco Mundo, grinning. Sure, I wasn't a mighty Vasto Lorde yet, but I was doing something fun. That had to count for something.

That's when the ground trembled beneath me.

"GUOOOH?"

(Translation: What's that?)

I looked down. My vision was distorted, but I could swear I saw something moving in the sand below — something huge. Something angry.

"GUOOOH!"

(Translation: Oh, no...)

Before I could react, the sand around the rock erupted, and a gigantic Hollow, easily the size of five Gillians stacked on top of each other, burst through. It was a sandworm Hollow, a beast that feasted on anything foolish enough to get too close to its lair. It was angry, probably because I had interrupted its rest by climbing on its home.

The sandworm's massive mouth opened wide, full of jagged, razor-sharp teeth. I stood frozen, but then something snapped inside me.

"GUOOOH!"

(Translation: Not today!)

I charged at the massive creature, my body lumbering as I tried to summon the strength to fight. But what did I really have in terms of power? Sure, I could shoot a Cero or two, but I was a Gillian — not exactly known for my finesse.

The sandworm lunged, its jaws wide open, aiming to snap me in half. I barely dodged, rolling to the side just in time. I had no real strategy, but somehow, the sheer chaos of my stupidity made me unpredictable. I ended up slamming my giant fist into the sandworm's side, sending it reeling.

"GUOOOH!"

(Translation: Take that!)

The sandworm screeched, but it wasn't defeated yet. It swung its tail around, crashing into the skull formation I had just climbed. The rock shattered, sending debris flying. I had only one choice.

"GUOOOH!"

(Translation: Run away!)

I turned and bolted — a Gillian in full panic mode. I didn't know where I was running, but I was running. Every time the sandworm made a move to strike me down, I barely managed to evade it. I wasn't trying to win; I was just trying to survive, trying to keep my absurd streak of stupidity going without dying.

Finally, after what felt like hours, I managed to lose the sandworm in a thick cloud of sand. It gave up the chase, retreating into the earth.

"GUOOOH..."

(Translation: I can't believe I survived that.)

I stumbled, panting heavily, realizing just how close I had been to death. The sheer foolishness of it all made me laugh. I'd risked my life, all to be an idiot.

But... I survived.

As I stood there, catching my breath, the SYSTEM pinged in my mind.

[SYSTEM NOTICE: +500 EP for 'Surviving the Stupidity']

[CURRENT EP: 26,560 / 1,000,000]

I looked at the small gain of EP and chuckled.

"GUOOOH!"

(Translation: This is worth it. Totally worth it.)

Maybe, just maybe, the stupidity was actually the key to survival in this world. At least, it was working so far.